Florida's Governor has banned the use of a word, starting with H, that is used to describe a weather phenomenon with cyclonic action that rhymes with...well, we cannot think of anything it rhymes with, but it is the name of the U of Miami sports teams.
The tragic news is that the system, which will be named Helene if the winds exceed 74 mph, is bearing down on the west coast of Florida right where ....wait for it....most of Florida's judiciary is now located at their judicial college (Motto: "Sometimes wrong, never in doubt."). This means that their vacation seminars on Thursday and Friday will be canceled and your favourite Judges will be scurrying (adjective intentionally used to make reference to something else which scurries) home ahead of the storm.
Here are the seminars being canceled which will be reset.
Thursday 9-11 am: Gavel Selection: "The gavel chooses the Judge Mr. Potter."
Thursday 1-4 pm: Calendar scheduling. Or "How I show up at 11 for my 9 am calendars and you can too!" (Requires subscription to Instagram Account "@Just_ Judgin" ).
Thursday 5:30-8 pm: Vodka Martini Mixology. Those cutups from the new 6th DCA show off their bartending skills whipping up the best vodka martinis. Highly recommended for the lawyer who is told she cannot use fear in a self-defense case and loses the appeal PCA.
Friday 9-11 am. Voir Dire- who needs it? Strategies to shut lawyers down in jury selection and move the trial along- tee times at 5pm don't open up very often- neither do mani-pedi appointments at your fav salon.
Friday 1-4 pm. Second Continuances? Surely you jest. You tried every case within a month of getting it when in private practice. There's no reason every lawyer cannot be as successful and efficient as you were.
Friday 530-8 pm. Elevator Pitches made simple over wine. The doors close and you find yourself alone with the Governor's chief of staff in an elevator. You have 15 seconds to explain why you should be elevated to circuit court/district court of appeal/ Florida Supreme Court. Choose a wine flight (California Cabs; Interesting Pinot Noirs; Racy Rose's) and sip and learn.
When you see your favourite judge make sure to tell them how sad you were to learn that a pesky storm had the temerity to interfere with their important judicial studies.
1 comment:
Who resigned today?
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