Like a shark circling in the blue depths underneath its target, the Miami Grand Jury sprung into action on Saturday April 1, 2023, unleashing a string of charges against the embattled former president.
Stemming from it’s investigation of the Trump Doral Hotel properties, the grand jury charged Trump with hotel fraud, PGA fraud, food fraud and fraud fraud.
“The hotel has engaged in a pattern of overcharging, especially with visitors from Dubai” said the Miami Dade State attorney whose office led the investigation. “Eighteen thousand for a standard room, four hundred dollars for a plate of eggs is just not outrageous but it’s hotel fraud, motel fraud, and Holiday Inn fraud “ the State attorney said, lapsing momentarily into the lyrics of an old rap song.
“There is also golf fraud” the State Attorney charged. “Par fours expanded into par fives just to help the former president get a birdie is intolerable in South Florida where cheating in golf ended with Jackie Gleason and some late former county court judges. Par is par” said the state attorney to a raucous crowd of golfers clad in plaid.
“And finally there is food fraud. Steaks listed as 14 ounces are actually 12. We love a good steak in South Florida and people are entitled to the steak they pay for.”
Asked about the possible outcomes of the case or whether there would be plea, the state attorney squared her shoulders and stared directly into the cameras “The Victim Wants The Max!”
After the indictment was unsealed, there was no comment on when the arraignment would be held, or whether the former president’s case would be assigned to a judge who takes lawyers out of turn for arraignments.
2 comments:
What about the untrue greens and divots in tee boxes? A few months ago, the cart girl didn't come around until the 6th hole. $50 to park? Doral golf is exactly what Congree had in mind when when it passsed the RICO act. Pity those poor zillionaires from the world's kleptocracies who come here with wads of cash expecting a good time and end up getting ripped off by the Donald. And not to mention the hookers. They want a thousand bucks just to sit and listen to your tale of woe about your ten wives back home.
HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! Nice one, Rumpole!!!
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