Coming to Netflix this fall, a new political thriller....The Impeachments of Donald Trump.
Every season the former president will be impeached.
Scene: Speakers Office, Capitol Hill. 8:30 pm. An aide walks in. Speaker Pelosi sits behind a large desk. She looks up from a notepad expectantly. The aide is harried and is carrying a diet coke as he flops down into a seat. His hair is matted down wet. Behind the Speaker is a window and we can see a furious rain storm beating on the windows. Thunder rumbles ominously in the background.
Aide: "He threw a hamburger at a waiter at Mar A Lago and hit him. He ordered it well done and it came out medium well.
Pelosi: And?
Aide: And, wait until you hear this...the waiter was an immigrant from Mexico.
Pelosi: We may need more.
Aide: He and Melania are not sleeping in the same room. He made Lindsey Graham caddie for him during his golf round on Sunday with David Duke and the My Pillow Guy. You should have seen Graham lugging three golf bags down the fairway. He was sweating. It wasn't pretty.
Pelosi. Hmm...
Aide. And we have this. He called Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau a wimp on DT, his new Twitter-type app.
SCENE TWO: House of Representatives.
Speaker Pelosi: The Chair recognizes the gentleman from Maryland, Mr. Raskin.
Congressman Raskin: Madam Speaker. I have the high honor to introduce (again) the articles of impeachment against the former 45th President of the United States. Article One: That within the last week the former president did maliciously, and with intent, hurl a hamburger at one Ernesto Guerra, a citizen of Mexico, striking Mr. Guerra in the arm, committing the misdemeanor of battery with a food item. Article Two: That within the last three days the former president of the United States did call the Prime Minister of Canada "a wimp and an idiot" and said that Canada was only good for "that French fries and gravy thing", and in doing so did bring disrespect to the high office of former President of the United States and did embarrass most Americans, especially those who enjoy Poutine. That such acts constitute high crimes and misdemeanors and as such the House Of Representatives are presented these articles of impeachment for consideration.
Each season, from the acts of the former president to the house of representatives, to trial in the senate, there will be an impeachment, and a trial, ending, in high drama...ala "Who Shot JR?" with a vote in the senate coming down to the very last vote.
Casting: Meryl Streep as Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the Housel; Jim Carrey as Lindsay Graham; Eugene Levy as Majority Leader Senator Chuck Schumer; Zack Galifianakis as Mitch McConnell; Will Ferrell as Congressman and Impeachment Manager Jaime Raskin; Jennifer Lopez as Melania Trump; Billie Ellish as Tiffany Trump- the disaffected daughter of the President; Neil Patrick Harris as Jared Kushner; Iggy Azalea as Ivanka Trump; Martin Short as Vice President Mike Pence; and special guest star John Lithgow as the former President.
The Three Stooges as Trump's defense team. Moe: Impeachment??!! why you...(finger poke at Larry who ducks, Moe hits Curly in the eyes who howls in pain, bends down and throws a hammer at Moe who ducks. The hammer hits Senator Lindsey Graham).
Future seasons will include impeachment for cheating at golf during a round with Kim Jong Un; publishing a book MAGA that plagiarized most of John Kennedy's Profiles in Courage; cutting the line at Mortons in West Palm Beach; threatening a Kansas Second Grade History teacher in a recorded phone call for teaching in history class that Joe Biden beat him in the 2020 election: "A lot of people are saying I won the election, nobody has seen anything like the votes I got and you know, if you keep lying to these children, you personally could be in a lot of trouble, and I know Kansas has a lot of good lawyers and you might need one..."; trying to sneak aboard Air Force One; trying to give the State of the Union Address one day before Biden is scheduled to give the speech; and finally, the revelation that in February 2021, each republican senator was sent before their vote on impeachment a coupon for half off a room at the Trump hotel in Washington DC., for the fourth of July weekend.
7 comments:
Worst president ever. But now he's gone. We all get to move on. Thank God.
I cannot help but think the best slogan in 2024 would be "Trump! Because the Capitol is still standing".
Or - I don’t always get impeached, but when I do , I don’t. Trump 2024
So many mistakes. The entire trial should have been to get 17 . Closing arguments by the House not good. Should not have a law professor be lead trial lawyer. 1st day very good, downhill thereafter. So sad. Now Trump can fake another run and defraud a half billion. All corruption by dems and repubs not good at all.Real bad. Really really bad.
The Demoncraps are 0 and 2
Trump is 1-1 in elections and is rapidly doing to the Republican party what Obama, Clinton, Biden, Gore and Kerry combined could not do. Enjoy the ride down.
Think of what Republican presidents have accomplished. How TR set up and expanded the national parks system and protected Yellowstone. Trump would have tried to build condos. How Eisenhower moved the country through prosperity. How Nixon of all people created the EPA. How Reagan restored our strength and prestige with our allies, especially England and Thatcher and how that partnership drove the Soviet Union over the brink. Trump would have insulted Thatcher and cozied up to the Soviets. How GHW Bush created an international coalition that drove Saddam out of Kuwait and showed the world the might of the American armed forces working with allies. Trump would have let Hussein have Kuwait and would have alienated the rest of the world.
And lets not forget deficits. After four years of Trump and nary the D word ever uttered by Republicans lets see how the discover the deficit now.
Biden has close to 2 million people a day getting vaccinated. The transmission rates are falling because he is leading on masks and social distancing. Biden listens to experts like Fauci who spent his whole professional life preparing for this. Trump marginalized him in favor of a nut radiologist who said the virus would disappear by spring. Trump couldn't have cared less and never worked on vaccines getting into people's arms. Remember when Trump said the virus would "Magically disappear" by spring, summer, fall and the day after the election. The only thing that disappeared was over 400,000 Americans who lost their lives because they had a president who could not and would not lead.
And finally this- Trump and the country and the world know - we KNOW he was thrilled by what those criminals did at the Capitol on Jan 6. He egged them on when they were shouting Hang Mike Pence.
Eisenhower and Bush and TR put on the uniform and fought for their country. GHW Bush was the youngest fighter pilot in the Pacific in WWII when he volunteered and he was shot down on a bombing raid. Trump had some calluses on his feet and poor boy couldn't go to Vietnam. Read Jim Mattis's book and find out just how dumb and ignorant Trump was and how military men despised him because far from loving his country and honoring men who died for it, he was only in it for himself and thought soldiers were suckers who couldn't get out of military service.
And of course your former president who is beloved by the religious right is thrice divorced and likes to grab women by their pussies.
Yup- you all have some leader of the Republican party. You get what you deserve. It was a nice ride but now it's over Johnny.
Thank you, 11.04 am.
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