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Saturday, September 23, 2017

REPEAL AND REPLACE

Breaking: Check out DOM's blog here that Judge Fajardo-Orshan, known to us as Ariana Fajardo- a former ASA and current Judge, is the new front-runner to be US Attorney in SDFLA. 

ITEM: On September 22, 1862 President Abraham Lincoln issued a preliminary emancipation proclamation order warning the South that he would issue a formal emancipation order for every slave in any state that did not end its rebellion by January 1, 1863. 

September 22, 2017. The White House. 
Kellyann Conway (KAC) and DT- POTUS 45. 

The Oval Office. 
Television:  "Next on Fox and Friends, the shocking proof that Hillary Clinton was not just on a Russian KGB* Agent's Payroll, but she may have had a not too secret affair with a Russian diplomat. Also, why cold winters mean global warming is a hoax. Fox and Friends- fair and balanced. Stay with us..."

DT (to himself) I knew it. On the payroll. And having sex. Gonna tweet this now "Lyin Hillary took cash from KGB. Lets see if bleedin Mika will mention this on Morning Joe?"

KAC (walks into room): Mr. President. Today the emancipation proclamation was issued...

DT: Repeal and Replace. 

KAC: No Mr. President, I don't think you understand..

DT: Did you just say 'No' to me? 

KAC: Yes Mr. President, but you're mistaken...

DT: Who won Florida, Georgia, Texas, Alabama, Wisconsin and California?

KAC: I'm not sure about California, but otherwise you did sir. 

DT: Who had the largest inauguration in the history of the world? 

KAC: You did sir. 

DT: And are you allowed to say 'no' to me? 

KAC: No sir, I'm not. 

DT: Very good. Now I know more about this emancipation thing then all the generals in Iraq, Korea, and West Germany. Here's what I want. Immediately. A statement from Spicer right now. Send him into the damned press room now...

KAC Sean doesn't work here anymore sir. 

DT: Do not interrupt me when I am setting policy. ..
Issue this immediately. 'The President is committed to the policy of repeal and replace all failed Obama administration policies. Today marks the shameful anniversary of the emancipation proclamation. I call on all Republican senators to repeal and replace this failed Obama policy immediately and send americans back to work, with the health care they deserve, in a cool climate.'

DT: Did you get all that? Issue it now!

KAC: But Mr. President...

DT: Kelly...don't say the N word again. You know I don't like it. 

KAC (downcast eyes): Yes Mr. President.  (Starts to walk out)

DT: One more thing. Fox has proof global warming is fake. please get that report for me ASAP.  

KAC:Yes sir. 


*The KGB doesn't exist anymore, but that doesn't stop Fox from speculating about the KGB and Clinton.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought the Q was the front runner for US atty?

New PD said...

Dude, why aren't you writing for like hollywood comedies and movies and stuff?

Too funny.

Anonymous said...

Underwhelming choice in Judge Fajardo. Nice woman but no federal experience whatsoever. Nova Law School grad. She would be a terrible choice.

Anonymous said...

Why her?

Elena de Socarraz said...

I beg to differ. Judge Fajardo-Orshan will be an exemplary U.S. Attorney. She possesses keen intelligence and knowledge, has great administrative skills, but most importantly is a person of immense integrity and honesty.

Jefferson Knight said...

Judge Fajardo was appointed to the bench in 2012. The first time she applied to the JNC, her name was sent to the governor - and the first time her name was sent to the governor, she was appointed. How often has that happened? Not very! She is a person of integrity and courage. She would do a great job as US Attorney. I have known her for 9 years and have worked closely with her on a very large number of pro bono projects since 2008. We know many of the same people in Washington DC and in Tallahassee, as well as in Miami. She is universally respected in all 3 cities. And in all 3 cities he is known - by all serious, well informed individuals - to be brilliant, highly organized, and a creative thinker. Her mind functions at Warp Speed, and she is capable of learning any new area of the law very rapidly. She is also charismatic, dynamic, charming, and, IMO, very funny. More objectively, she was a prosecutor for 6 years and served on the criminal bench for 3 years. She was selected to found and organize the new Uniform Family Court Division, even though at the time she was a relative newcomer to the Family Division. I have no inside information on what is going to happen next. But anyone who says Judge Fajardo is unqualified for this position simply does not know her.