Update: This is an irreverent post. Please review the preceding post for some sad news about the tragic passing of attorney J.C. Dugue and leave your remembrances there if you wish.
Courts remain scheduled (which we pronounce as the King's english dictates, shed/ul/eld )for closure Thursday and Friday(Fed and State, unless you have something scheduled before Judges Martinez or Huck: a little wind and rain never caused them to continue anything).
August marked the beginning of the employment of new PDs and ASAs. Many of whom are from out of town. This is their first hurricane. Here is our famous storm prep list ( (c) Justice Building Blog, 2008, all rights reserved) along with some common sense Dos and Don'ts:
DO: go swimming only with a buddy;
DON'T: try and serve subpoenas on Miami Beach Police without a mask, fin and snorkel. To our friends on the Beach: see ya, wouldn't want to be ya.
DO: Announce ready for trial today for all cases set for next two weeks.
DON'T: Take your files home. If the PDs or ASA offices are wacked, you have proof of why you need a continuance.
DO: Go to Publix at least once and rip a bottle of water out of a kid's hand. Also go to a gas station, wait on line, and then act puzzled at the credit card swipe screen until everyone behind you beeps. These are classic Miami hurricane activities that are a right of passage for new-comers.
DON'T: Return any gun fire. You may hit an FPL worker hiding in the gas station cafe avoiding work.
DO: Follow all tips from our Governor, including his directive not to mention "Global Warming" in emails.
DON'T: Evacuate to the Bahamas, or Houston.
Breaking: POTUS 45 tweets Irma "FAKE NEWS" and blames "Obama/Clinton/Comey/Dems" for path of storm.
Hurricane Supplies: (in order of importance)
1: One Bottle Don Julio 1942 Tequilla
2: Three bottles of any: 2010 Opus One Napa Propriety Blend (in an emergency, the 2008 will do); Lewis Cab 2013, Napa Valley, Sequoia Grove Cabium, 2009, Napa Valley.
3: One gallon of water per person, per day.
5. One bag of organic apples.
6. One box Annie's Organic Granola bars, mixed.
7. One copy of Les Miserables, or The Grapes of Wrath, or 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or either of 11/23/63 or IT by Stephen King, both of which are vastly superior to The Stand.
8. Box of candles and matches.
9. Limes (see 1, above).
10. One week supply toilet paper.
11. Battery powered radio. Gen Y'ers and Millennials take note: you cannot listen to radio on your phone when the internet is out. You must watch a you-tube video on the basic principles of operating a radio. You also cannot stock up on ice cream. Just trust us on this one. And Uber Eats, et.al., will not be available for a few days. So get some dry staples in the house. Google cereal and buy some.*
12. Oranges, grapes, pretzels, chips.
Above all else, unlike POTUS45, use common sense and stay safe.
Because we know that long-time and careful readers turn here first for the real, non-fake news they need to survive the storm, practice law, and collect a few fees along the way, we will be on the blog all Friday evening and Saturday until (and IF) the storm knocks us off the internet. As we hinted at yesterday, and the reports are indicating today, Irma is s..l..o..w..l..y moving east by north east and that is good news.
From occupied America and storm threatened Florida, fight the wind and the rain and the power.
* This is a true fact. General Foods is experiencing a drastic decrease in cereal consumption by people between 10-20. Apparently market research shows that millennials don't like to spend time on cleaning the bowl after eating cereal.
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