WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Friday, April 01, 2016

BUSH TO RUN FOR STATE ATTORNEY

UPDATE: NOT GUILTY We told you to go watch DOM in trial this week, and word is he knocked it out of the park before Judge Moore. The jury returned a NOT Guilty Friday Morning, David thus becoming the only attorney we are aware to get a misdemeanor battery dismissal on Wednesday, followed by a Not Guilty in Federal Court on Friday. Not a bad week. Well Done, Mr. Markus. Well Done indeed. 

BUSH TO RUN FOR STATE ATTORNEY!!!

Sources have indicated that Jeb Bush, last seen getting his butt kicked by Donald Trump, still has the "public service bug" and has set his sights on the Dade County State Attorneys Office. 

"It's something he thinks is winnable" said a source close to Bush. And he needs to bounce back. "Think Richard Nixon running for governor of California in 1962. Well, that's a bad example actually, because Nixon lost, but you get the idea."


A spokesman for the Dade County State Attorneys Office, speaking off the record, called Bush "Low energy." Hmm... good point. It's worked before. 


CLERK'S OFFICE TO CLOSE

Not satisfied with reducing services, the Dade County Clerk's Office has decided to close. "Closing the office will save the office tens of millions of dollars, which will allow us- in theory- to provide better service- if we were open. Which we won't be."


And finally, the day we have all been waiting for. You want a cup of coffee? A Bagel? A quick soup and salad over lunch? You got it! The El Chapo cafe on the first floor is opening today, April 1, 2016. and to celebrate, your tab is on us. We've generously provided a credit card and we are footing the bill to celebrate the opening. Just head on in and order anything you can. We'll get the tab. 

REAL GOSSIP
Sad. A judge. Been in trouble before. Flamed out in court last week. Locked themselves in chambers. Your chief judge was summoned to talk him/her off the ledge. Unofficially removed from courtroom duties for a bit. And now a story that they were out drinking late over the weekend. Cut off by the barkeep, another flame-out. The police were called. No arrest made. The kind of crap you see in Broward. It's only a matter of time. 

See You In Court. 




16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate April Fools Day. The stories are juicy and you get excited then you look at the date and all hope goes to shit. Oh well April 2nd is nearby.

CAPTAIN JUSTICE said...

My favorite day of the year when it comes to the Blog. Rumpole is always there for a few good laughs. Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

The real gossip is not so sad. She's got to go. The real shame is that the voters re-elected her last year with two qualified candidates on the ballot.

Anonymous said...

Why is the judge? S/he is a public official. We have a right to know

The Professor said...

Do you have any idea how many heart attacks you have caused? Not only that but Richard Gerstein has risen from the dead to run against Bush, believing that Kathy Rundle will be the next Attorney General of the United States.

Not JAFI much longer said...

Can we start a pool to guess which judge it was?

Anonymous said...

This is rocket science. Show up to work, do your job. Collect a check. Let's be honest, a state judge in Miami isn't that difficult a job. I'd argue being a PD or Asa is more challenging. How do you blow such an easy gig.

Anonymous said...

April fools day to you too!!!

Anonymous said...

Is this the Judge who told the 7/11 clerk to fuck himself?

Anonymous said...

Knowing full well that it's April Fools Day, my thought after reading the Bush post was "Crap, can't this guy give it a rest?"
Didn't even occur to me that this was a joke - maybe I'm gullible, but maybe it's because I wouldn't really put it past him?

Rumpole said...

Quite frankly, I thought it was one of the more lame ones I have done. Surprised to see that I caught a few people.

Anonymous said...

@4:30pm You got it! Where was the Herald's David Ovalle? Getting a Starbucks? It's not like there wasn't a courtroom of people and clerks trying to help out the incoherent judge. What can the public do or who can they contact about judges that are mentally or physically unable to fulfill their duties or are just rubber stamping the work that clerks, when the judiciary/legal community wall of silence is even greater than the cops blue wall?

Seth Sklarey said...

Funeral attendance numbers: Stan Newmark had about 800, Sharpie had about 400 and Sepe about 150.

Not JAFI much longer said...

@4:30,
You took my guess.

Anonymous said...

Funny, except JEB isn't a lawyer!

Anonymous said...

Ovalle scared to do real reporting