(the following is a dramatization and has not been approved by the FDA and is not intended to diagnosis any medical conditions.)
Here's a brief wrap up of the daily events at the REGJB this week that David Ovalle missed while over at the college of cardinals in federal court, sipping black coffee in a clean and sterile glass enclosed monolith of convictions and prison sentences:
-Alex Michaels and Michael Von Zamft were seen peacefully having lunch together until Alex mistakenly squirted a packet of ketchup on MVZ, causing a ruckus that had to be broken up by two bailiffs, one of them a middle aged woman.
-Judge Will Thomas denied all continuances for all cases set in his division, even in cases where defendants hadn't been arrested yet. For more and real Judge Thomas rumors, see below. *
-Judge Milt Hirsch issued a forty page ruling criticizing Marbury v. Madison and Pennoyer v. Neff, written entirely in iambic pentameter, fully footnoted in Sandskrit, with citations only to the Iliad and the third federalist paper.
-Judge Brennan granted a bond, but quickly realized what she had done and reversed herself.
-Judge Rodriguez-Chomat stayed awake during a voir dire.
-A symposium entitled "Representing Broward Judges charged with DUI and other crimes" was held in courtroom 4-1 over lunch on Tuesday for 2 CLE credits and was well attended by lawyers looking to expand their practices.
-The escalator between five and six briefly started working before an emergency response team of Miami Dade Building technicians swarmed in and jammed it up with gum and paper clips.
It's our humble courthouse, and we love it.
Now to some real news and rumors:
Just what was being discussed at this high-level judicial pow-wow convened by Judge Thomas with several other Judges in attendance where Thomas wanted the other Judges to continue a slew of cases? Rumor has it that whatever his ultimate goal was, at least one judge refused to play nice and did not agree to continue her cases. Thomas is scheduled to rotate to civil in the coming new year (As Jack Nicholson as the Joker said "wait until they get a load of me") and he was trying to close out or try some monster case, but alas the best laid plans of mice and men.....
See You In Court.
No truth to the rumor that tickets will be sold to his first motion calendar in civil, but still, there won't be a better show around as civil lawyers get "the treatment".
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