Monday, November 22, 2010


A foreclosure fiasco!! Former REGJB denizen Alan Soven at the center of a legal nightmare (again). Details on the South Florida Lawyers blog here.

We received this email:

Rumpole: Help!
Here is a description of my encounter with a an individual who works for a particular agency in the Justice Building. My goal was merely to provide them a certified copy of a motion to transport. I won't name the agency, but it rhymes with "directions".

Me: Hi- here is a copy of an order to transport.
Woman #1: Jello...can I help jew?
Me: (to myself: Jew??Hmm...this is not starting out well).
Me: To Woman #1: Yes. Here is a certified copy of a motion to transport.
Woman #1: Weeeeell, dis is not (unintelligible- but I'm guessing she meant "sufficient") Jew need 11 certified copies. (or some ridiculous number).
Me: (to myself: Jew again!)
Woman #1: also, Jew need to add the yale number of the defendant. To get the yale number you need to go to the 4th floor and look at dee big blue book which has dee names and yale numbers of all of dee defendants.
Me: (admittedly somewhat sanctimoniously) I know how to get a "yale number" I've in fact been to Yale. (actually Rumpole, I've been to both, but that's another long story.) I also know how to get jail number. I don't need the big blue book. I can get with a computer. In fact, I can get it with my phone. Can you please take the order?
Woman#1: No. Here is dees memo on orders. You need read.
Me: No. Here is the order. You need read.
Woman#2: (walking over) She jus tryin to hep you.
Me: Really? Because I don't sense that.
Woman#1: If jew read dee memo jew can get dee order.
Me: I have "dee order", please take it. Many people who have studied long and hard have contributed to creating this order.

...and on and on it went. Not much really to say except that it seems like everybody is out to make everybody's life much more difficult than it has to be. I appreciate they have a job to do and so do I. I don't have a problem following rules, and this issue was resolved when I obtained the requisite 37 more certified copies- and I won't even start on what it takes to get one of those from the ninth floor. The clerks look at you like either you are crazy ( you want what??) or you are threatening some horrible act. My point is that people who deal with the general public need more training. Not to say it is not a hard job. It is. But how many times have you been waiting in line only to have the person answer the phone or have another employee come over and start talking to the person helping you about something that could have waited. Yes, I am making fun of this woman's accent. It is more bothersome to have a bureaucrat start lecturing you when they can barely speak english. I applaud this woman for working, I just wish she could lectured me less and done so more intelligibly. Thanks for letting me vent.

Rumpole says: We live in a multicultural society, especially here in Miami. Our opinion is that dealing with an accent is a small price to pay in view of the strengths immigrants add to our country. In light of all the xenophobic rage over immigration, we would be well served if we didn't over react to the short term (hopefully) economic slow down, and remembered that at one time or another all of our ancestors came to this country seeking a better life. Lets not be like the Judges of Miami, who once having been elected, want to close the doors behind them and do away with elections.

NFL roundup: 1-1 yesterday, 22-15-1 for the season; -30 for the day and + 2320 for the season. Mr. Markus won (7-3-1) and so did we (9-2).

Later this week: Is the blog going to be shut down????!!!! Stay tuned.


Anonymous said...

I have frequent contact with this lady. She will take my certified copies, go over to CJIS, and try and figure out ways to shoot them down. I have come to believe that she was placed at the desk solely for the purposes of thwarting additional work for corrections. In that, she does an excellent job!

Anonymous said...

I have a simple solution:

Have process server give the two certified copies to the idiot and write down her name.

If prisoner not transported, ask court to hold idiot in contempt.

They did that shit to me and I got even.

In the past, they simply took the two certified copies and got it done. I asked them in advance exactly what they wanted on the order and gave it to them: Jail number, cell/location, etc.

It seems as if Dade Corrections has gotten worse over the past few years. They seem to enjoy ignoring court orders.

I feel your pain.

Let's all call JA's this Wednesday about 2: 15 pm and see who answers the phone?

Anonymous said...

Soven is a bad guy and an even worse lawyer. His office was fired bombed... need I say more?

Anonymous said...

Alan Soven is a dirt-bag. That article didn't surprise me in the least. He should have gone to the slammer along with his buddy Sepe.

Anonymous said...

Shocked shocked that al sovens name came up in this context. i know al to be one of the finest and most ethical lawyers to have ever practiced in the REGJB.

old guy said...

What a surprise.

Do you mean that Soven, the guy who intentionally lied to jurors in a murder case - that got his guy convicted by his antics - might also cheat his private clients.

"I am shocked, shocked that there is gambling..."

Just surpised that he is still a member of the Bar, and obviously there are still suckers giving him their hard earned monies.

No wonder people hate lawyers!

Jonathan Blecher said...

No posting on the 47th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination?

I can never forget that day.

We got the news before lunchtime. Mrs. Meyers, my 1st grade teacher lined us all up for early dismissal at P.S. 150. All the teachers were crying, and I didn't understand why until I got home and my mom explained it to me. We watched the funeral procession across Memorial Bridge to Arlington. I will never forget watching John John saluting the coffin, in black and white, on our 12 inch RCA tv. The same tv that we watched the Beatles on Ed Sullivan less than 3 months later.

Everything changed after that.

Anonymous said...

jello, sir. jew need to rexpet me. i can put jew on hold for lon time and hang up. I speake english, jew understand, okay. habe a chair, papito. jew u want cafecito??????????????? LOL, THIS IS MIAMI.

Anonymous said...

Alan Soven;

Just off the top of my head;

The Sepe>Roy Gelber connection;

There was the 1980's debacle where Soven stated at the end of a death penalty case that he wasn't qualfied and the outcome was affected;

There was the killing of the grocery store owner where he stated in the opening that the "son" did it but then retracted saying he wanted to see if the jury was paying attention (not to mention about getting $ when he was court appointed;)

There was the suspicious "firebombing" of his office;

What's the saying? If it walks like a duck, squawks like a duck, swims like a duck..........

Anonymous said...

9:18- I wrote Rumpole the email. Yes- she looks at the order, frowns, goes to CJIS, starts mumbling in spanish, comes back, asks a few unintelligible questions - and when I can't understand she goes back to CJIS, answers a call at her desk in Spanish, mumbles some more, shakes her head, and comes back and tries to do two things: 1) get you to take the all important memo. I truly think she has a bonus override based on the memos she gets lawyers to read; 2) tells you that at a minimum, despite all the problems with your order that she -in all her legal experience sees-you need several dozen more certified copies. Come with 50? You need 64. Come with 6? You need 11. She must also get a kick back from what the clerks are charging to certify copies.

Rumpole said...

Mr. Blecher- what do you need to know about the assassination? I have made a detailed study of the facts. How many shots can the Mannlicher Carcano rifle fire in six seconds? What was the rate per second that Abraham Zapruder's camera was rolling at? The Umbrella man? The bums by the railroad tracks (said to be french hit men) ? The fake Oswalds in Mexico City?
I know it all.

Anonymous said...

I also remember . I was in 3rd grade and being sent to Mrs. Havens w/ Jimmy Teachman for acting out in class ( again) We were walking down the hallway when a 6th grade teacher came out and told us top shhhhhush , tHE pRES. HAD JUST BEEN SHOT. Needles to say the Principle of Greynolds Park Elem. and the office were to upset about JFK, to spank me that day.

Anonymous said...

One of the bums by the railroad track was actually FBI agent E. Howard Hunt. His deathbed confession was just released.

Anonymous said...

Dear 10:03 am:

I don't think it's funny that someone firebombed Soven's office. There are 4-5 lawyers there besides Alan and they never caught the bad guy.

Please do not rush to assume things. It makes you look stupid.

I know Alan. Yes, his past legal work has raised my eyebrows too but, the firebomb comment was offensive.

Anonymous said...

bythw the woman is Ana and she is very sweet. I think most people know by now that you have to get 3 certified copies with the jail number and cell location on it and give it to her. Prepration makes your life easier. Making fun of her accent is not cool either. She is one of the nicest most helpful people at REG. Maybe your attitude needs adjustment. SHe could of just been an ahole and accepted your order then when your guy was not transported have let you find out the hard way how to do things right but no she is super nice.

Anonymous said...

KUDOS to 9:54 a.m.! Rumpole, weren't you a little harsh on the original poster? Come on now, this isn't about folks trying to make it in this big melting pot we call Miami. It's about folks who can't effectively communicate in English (note I did not refer to it as the official language) & who take great pleasure in working against the lawyers who are necessary elements of the system -- all the while proudly parading giant chips on their shoulders.

Anonymous said...

This contributor is a douche. Who cares if you went to Yale. Treat the people in the courthouse with respect and dignity, and they will almost always help you out. Snotty Yale Douche.

CAPTAIN said...


Anonymous said...

I too have dealt with this "barricade" in the corrections adminstrative office, for those who recal Judge Barad, her sweet voice reminds me of my jeuths.

Anonymous said...

The funniest part about this entire sarcastic diatribe against the person you portrayed as hispanic and everything bad about Miami.....doesn't even speak spanish and isn't hispanic!

Anonymous said...

Want to be famous firster? Buy an Mannlicher Carcano Italian rifle and try to hit a moving target from 600 feet away with two shots fired within six seconds. No one has ever done it and many have tried.

Anonymous said...

hey rumpole - what ever happened to your good friend rich goodman?

Anonymous said...

Like some of the other posters, I am old enough to remember Kennedy's untimely death. How many other generations can say that they knew the meaning of the words "assasination" and "conspiracy" before they were out of first grade?

The E. Howard Hunt deathbed confession is incredible. If true, it verifies almost everything Oliver Stone and other Kennedy assisination researchers have been saying for years.

rich goodman wannabe said...

The one & only former ASA, former broker at Pru, former wealth manager and sports agent at NWM, the Rich Goodman is Chief of Staff to Governor Pawlenty of Minnesota. He will be running the 2012 Presidential Campaign and, if all goes well, he will be managing the West Wing come January 20, 2013.

Anonymous said...

Anyone see the Jesse Ventura Conspiracy Theory show the other night?
They interviewed Hunt's son and played the supposed deathbed confession.

I've never doubted that there might have been some other people working with/for Oswald, but I've always been reluctatnt to think of it as a big huge widespread conspiracy. I don't think that many people can keep secrets like that for so long.

Anonymous said...

November 18, 1963, President Kennedy was a block from REGJB shaking hands, meeting people.