Monday, June 28, 2010

WOE UNTO US


Germany 4 England 1.

The World Cup has ended for us. Please don't mention this for another 4 years or so.

True fact: In the stands during matches between Germany and England, the German fans chant "3 world cups" because of the German championships won. The English fans, with only one world cup to our credit, chant "two world wars." It's all lots of fun.

Good Monday Morning as we head into the 4th Of July Holiday weekend, a lot of lawyers and Judges today will be looking to make it a quick and quiet week.

Word reaches us this early Monday morning that Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia has passed away. The senator was 92 and holds the record for the longest serving member of congress at 57 years.

While the World Cup was fun (for a while), what is not so much fun these days is the FACDL listserv, which is turning into a Brazilian/Argentinian match.

Our favourite listserv user Talitha Leacock wrote this on Sunday:

Dear All,
I cannot resist. Anyone awake now for the FIFA World Cup who notices less vuvuzilla horns and now hearing "drums" and cheers? The beauty of the World Cup is the crowd actions reflect the particular Country playing?
I can't seem to find the game on a main channel so listening on the computer on a Spanish website in the background as I do work. All I need to hear is "SCORE" and I will know something great happened. This may be the first game I get to listen to from the beginning to the end

Anyways, enjoy your Sunday.
Best All,
Talitha
And that missive prompted FACDL Sergeant at Arms Jude "The Hammer" Faccidomo to respond with this:


Dear Membership,

The listserve is intended for colleagues to exchange thoughts and ideas for professional purposes only. Please use it accordingly.

Additionally, due to certain concerns regarding listserve etiquette the board will be outlining certain guidelines to be followed when posting matters to the listserve. We will be addressing this issue at the June 30 board meeting. Anyone who wishes to be heard on the matter is encouraged to attend.

Although it is quite obviously counterintuitive, please refrain from posting any additional comments regarding other members personal use of the listserve.

Sincerely,

Jude M. Faccidomo, Esquire

Rumpole says: we might just surreptitiously attend that June 30 "bored" meeting and tape the slap-happy self important wind bags pontificating on the sanctity of the listserv. Or we may just stay with our plans and fly off to the Vineyard for the long weekend.

And finally we print this because it is fun: There is a dastardly thief operating within the confines of the hallowed halls of the Public Defender's Office, and our own David Sisselman is the victim:

First there is this email, and then there is the ransom note printed below:

-----Original Message----- From: Lucian Ferster  Sent: Wednesday, June 23, 2010 7:04 PM To: All Users Subject: A Modest Proposal  Esteemed Colleagues:   With great sadness I must announce that David Sisselman's blue Chinese  relaxation balls (the selfsame relaxation balls that were recently addressed by  our own HR department) have been hijacked, kidnapped and held for ransom by vile  and nefarious terrorist thugs.  Sisselman, who is in a state of shock, received  a RANSOM NOTE today!  A  copy of same is attached.  Warning: viewing of the attached photo is not for  children, pregnant ladies, those suffering from cardiac or nervous conditions or  the fainthearted!  Our colleague, David Sisselman, has been rendered catatonic  by this cruel turn of events.  He has had an emergency psychological evaluation  and has been cleared of suspicions of malingering.  However, Dr. Suarez, in his  report claimed that, "Sisselman is suffering from acute separation anxiety."  Please view the ransom note to get the full sense of this disgusting and  horrific assault upon the peace and dignity of this fine office.  In the face of such catastrophic adversity, I present a modest proposal:  A BAKE SALE!  Yes, let us all pull together like good folks and bake cookies etc.; we will  sell them in front of the building on Friday at midday to raise the ransom money  demanded by these odious felons.  If you are interested, please contact David Sisselman and coordinate with him as  to what kind of cookies, pies, cakes or brownies you will bring.  Remember, united we can return Sisselman's beloved blue Chinese relaxation  balls.  With fraternal regards,  Lucian Ferster (A Good Samaritan)


Rumpole says: this is a matter for Talitha Leacock, or Jude "The Hammer" Faccidomo, or both.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Leacock's lawfirm website claims she has an "extensive and intricate" understanding of criminal rules and procedures. Did she get that knowledge from the listserve? BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE, if you check out her MySpace account, you also learn that she's an aries who would like to meet Yoda. Just plain scary.

Anonymous said...

8:03.....seriously, why the attacks on Leacock? Have you ever had a case with her? She's a good attorney and a great person. Why do you feel the need to bash her? What's far scarier than anything that appears on her Facebook account is that you somehow find it necessary to try and embarass her on this blog. Get a life.

BTDT

What is she thinking said...

Talitha e-mailed me the other day asking for a coq au vin recipe, detailed blueprints for a Trident sub and a complete sentencing memo (on all fours) for a judge on a trafficking case on which she was "just officially retained".

Anonymous said...

FYI:

From: David Sisselman
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 12:03 PM
To: All BHB Building Users
Subject: Thank You for your kind thoughts



To all of you who have wished me well in my time of loss, Thank You for your kind thoughts. This morning, due largely to the executive activation of the PD Delta Team, my purloined Blue C.R.B.s have been anonymously returned. I thank all for their willingness to contribute to the ransom , but millions for Defense but not a cent in tribute.

Thanx

DS

Beavis said...

Heh heh heh, Butthead, Sisselman has blue balls heh heh