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Monday, August 31, 2009

SHAKE ON IT? NOPE,

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

MORATORIUM ON HAND-SHAKING AT ALL MIAMI-DADE COUNTY COURTHOUSES ....

Beginning tomorrow, September 1, 2009 and continuing for the rest of flu season, OUR HONORABLE CHIEF JEFE Joel Brown and his office along with the CLERK OF COURT Harvey Ruvin together with the AOC of the 11th Judicial Circuit, has called for a moratorium on hand-shaking at all courthouses located in Miami-Dade County.

We at the BLOG support this effort and encourage all attorneys at the GJB to go with the fist pump or elbow pump as a substitute for the handshake.

The CDC has stated that the swine flu could infect upwards of 40% of our population and that as many as 90,000 could die this year from the flu.

According to the statement released by the 11th JC, "The safest way to avoid transmission of the flu virus begins with less contact - and the easiest way to accomplish that around the courthouse is through less hand-shaking".

The Captain agrees, and as a Public Service, we will continue to print this regularly until we begin to notice a severe drop in hand-shaking at the GJB.

CAP OUT .....

Well done.
Here's a bit that's on the Broward blog:


I Put A Spell On You - did you ever wonder what the deal was with the messy poultry remnants sometimes found on the stairs of the Miami Courthouse? Of course, most of the Miami natives know where this is going ... Santeria! Still, having been raised on Wonder Bread and sour cream, we couldn't believe our ears when our favorite ex-patriot Miami lawyers told us about having to find someone once to reverse a very effective bad luck spell, cast on them by a Madrina for a client they went to trial with. Needless to say, it was an eye-opener to learn all about being blessed by a priest in order to get hired in the first place, and how they'd experienced a long winning streak with the many other Santeria cases they'd handled in the past. We really enjoyed the part about the priests having to have the judges', witnesses', cops' and prosecutors' names, with correct spellings, for "prayer purposes" before trial (no one has ever been proven hurt by a Santeria ritual in real life, by the way). At least one young prosecutor, we're told, was so freaked out by the eye-piercing presence of a priest during voir dire, that the case ended up being quickly resolved soon after the break. Amazing ... why do Miami lawyers have all the fun?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Judge Brown:

Big Purell user here. Keep one in my office and one in my briefcase at all times.

Can't thank you enough for your initiative. It will make my life that much easier this fall and winter.

Great move!

Anonymous said...

Finally our new chief judge comes up with an important administrative order that will help out all of the lawyers in Miami.

Now can we get him to 86 the wearing of ties or jackets in court, for next summer, from say Memorial Day to Labor Day. Please?

eyeonq said...

"All I know is that man is in jail for the rest of his life without a trial, without any motions, without full review of discovery, without any competent legal representation. So yes, if the family hires me, I will take the case and get him out."

The Q on Bernie Madoff

Anonymous said...

Judge Blake, please ask corrections to offer those gloves they use with the inmates to all the attorneys in court that have to interact with their clients in the box.

Thanks, fake Blecher, fake Shuminer, fake White, fake Q, etc. etc.

Anonymous said...

Informed sources report that the Big Brown will also be requesting that persons entering courthouses hold their breath whenever possible.

Anonymous said...

Rump - Captain:

I was at the courthouse today and dropped into the Au bon and saw several attorneys greeting each other with fist pumps.

Then, wlaking down the hallway of one of the floors, I bumped into star attorney Andrew Reir (see today's herald) and, I kid you not, he gave me the elbow pump.

This is a great move by Brown and Blake.

South Florida Lawyers said...

Has sneezing been outlawed?

Anonymous said...

Persons having the misfortune of visiting 73 West Flagler often find themselves riding lifts with actual judges. If it happens to you, hang your head low, sniffle, and comment about the frigid air-conditioning. After you've solid it, cough twice and then offer the judge a weak fist pump.