Good morning and welcome to week four for the 2023 NFL season. As we write this, we are watching the national anthems of England and the USA being sung as the Falcons play the Jags in our London. We like GSTK over the SSB by a solid four points. Shorter and gets right to the point. Brillant.
Not a great play, but if you must, we kinda like the Jags to get things back on track. The Jags have been disappointing but it is time for them to return to the mean and win some games. JAX -3.5.
We start this Sunday talking of course of the surprising Miami team who is on a playoff run. The team everyone in Miami is talking about. Your MIAMI MARLINS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS! 🐟
Miamians everywhere are saying "Wait! We still have a baseball team?"
Yes we do, and this being Miami we recognize it is waayyyyy too early for Miami fans to jump on the bandwagon and actually go to a game because, after all, it's not the world series and it's not game 7 of the world series so there's plenty of time to start pretending that you love the Marlins with all your heart and soul and go to every game. But for the five thousand or so real Marlins fans in Miami, the Marlins are in the playoffs (with a win last night over the hapless Pittsburgh Pirates whose fans actually do fill the stadium every game) and Rumpole will be attending playoff baseball in Miami in October (if we decide to leave our New England abode where it has been raining a whole lot these last few days).
There are two great NFL games today and we will get right to them.
Two years ago we rode the futility of the Miami Dolphins to a substantial downpayment on yet another summer abroad. And we even managed to pick the game the Fins won breaking their losing streak. The heart has no place in placing bets.
We are now riding the winning streak of your Miami Dolphins who are our favourite to represent the AFC in Las Vegas in 2024. Miami is in Buffalo and if you can believe it, the team which hung a 70 on Denver last week is GETTING 2.5 points in Buffalo today. Now that is a half a point less than the standard home team advantage of three points, but we are eschewing the points because Miami is the better team. Take the money line +120 (bet a hundred and win 120). Your Miami Dolphins over the Buffalo Bills. Last week we told you to mortgage the house and put it all on Miami. This week, we are telling you to take 25% of that windfall and stick in on the Fins- +120 no points , a bet on arguably the best team in the NFL after the first month of the season.
The other great game is The Denver Broncos at the Chicago Bears. A powerhouse matchup for the ages. And we say that with the same straight face we tell every Federalist Drone Judge that we are confident we will get a fair hearing on our motion to suppress.
Da Bears are getting 3.5 at home. The Bears are a mess. The Broncos have the better QB- Russell Wilson. Hold your nose and lay the 3.5 for Denver to bounce back.
There are not a lot of other games we like this week. Last week we told you the smart Vegas professional money was flooding ala NYC rains on the Cardinals over the Cowpokes and of course we were correct.
Today, just for fun take a flyer on the Panthers- the Cats 😼being a home Dog 🐶 +4.5 over the struggling Vikes.
Mostly we are advising you to take all that Fins money from last week and buy Money Market funds paying 5.5% and let it sit for a week or so or buy some Apple 🍎 at 170- you won't go wrong there. There will be another mismatch to pounce on- just not this week.
Survivor coming soon and the play today is the safe Bye. If anyone has Dan Tibbett's cell phone, text him to make a pick.
Aaa2023 Regjb Survivor Pool Week Four by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd
It's not the same survivor pool without Weisman and Colby. I'm going to the Taylor Swift movie about her concert and sulk.
ReplyDeleteColby is wintering in Iberia and has limited cell service as he is spending days on end in a blackout room meditating on the mysteries of life. Weisman can be found every morning at the Krispy Kreme on 163rd street staring into his coffee despondent over an early exit from survivor. Kinda sad.
ReplyDeleteMiami has the Dolphins
ReplyDeleteTHE greatest football team.
I got my suite at the MGM for the Super Bowl. Looking for tix- text me at 1-888-Fake-JayW
VAIT!!! VHAT??? I am out of de survivor pool? Des eeeessss BULLSHEEET I am best player and dis is conspiracy like all deese judges ruling against trump.
ReplyDeletePut me back in dee pool. You know how boring it is here? Lectures by Einstein on quarks and dark matter. Shakespeare valking around all day quoting himself. Me and Sy Gaer are jus hanging looking for people to represent on dere applications for heaven and not down below but dat jackass Lee Bailey as all the angels paid off referring him and John Adams and Edward Bennett Williams all dee cases. Ve get the trash vee cannot vin. You tink you can get any of deese russian soliders in here? Like trying to get Miranda to grant a motion to dismiss. Impossible.
Let me back in
Thank you for these picks rump. Took some dolphin money from last week (more than I was comfortable with tbh) and put it on the Jags.
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving trip paid for. You da man
Give him credit. He brings some Kristy Kreme crullers in the building every day.
ReplyDeleteLove those jelly rolls too
ReplyDeleteJelly roll morton
ReplyDeleteSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhumie doooobie doooooooooooooooo!
ReplyDeleteThere you go again Rumpole, talking trash because people have the good sense not to be emotionally invested in someone else's multi-billion dollar business. If I want to spend $1,000 on a nose bleed ticket to a World Series game, then I've earned the right to say whatever I want about the business that sold it to me, including proclaiming loudly that I am a "loyal fan" (whatever that means).
ReplyDeleteAnd for what it's worth, yes, my first MLB game (and one of only 3) was a World Series game. It was a blast. The other two...well, I ended up reading the newspaper and had a couple of beers at one of them; that was nice.