You think you have a hard job? Pity poor Herald Scribe David Ovalle who, in writing articles covering the legal community of Miami, must navigate unscrupulous clients, manipulative attorneys, judges who wander in hours after court was supposed to start, and, of course, the ever present watchful eye of the fearsome "National Peanut Board." (cue ominous music)
Much to the delight and satisfaction of long time and careful blog reader Paul Cali, the Florida Bar recently filed complaints against Bernardo Roman and others for their shenanigans in representing the Miccosukee tribe. After superb lawyering, Cali turned the tables on Roman and his clients, saving his clients Lewis and Tein from what had been nightmare civil proceedings, the allegations which, to quote our vice-president, "was a bunch of malarkey."
During a deposition in the case, a peanut problem arose, as is wont to happen. Part of the Herald's story is here.
The deposition was being overseen by a retired judge, Ellen Leesfield, who placed bowls of peanuts and pistachios on a conference room table at a Coral Gables law office. Roman’s clerk, Shenna Perez-Martin, announced that she was allergic to the nuts, and the bowls were moved to a reception room.
During a break in the deposition, Perez-Martin said she was having an allergic reaction just by having been near the nuts, according to the Bar complaint. In the reception room, she told Roman she was leaving to an urgent-care clinic for treatment.
At that moment, Lewis and Tein’s attorney, Paul Calli, emerged from the conference room, grabbed a handful of nuts and walked back, weaving between the two opposing lawyers. Perez-Martin left.
An hour later, after lunch was delivered, Roman called 911 to allege that Perez-Martin “was just the victim of a battery.”
“He purposely put pistachios in her food and in front of her, and she had to be taken to the hospital. That’s where she is, in urgent care right now,” Roman said, according to the Bar’s complaint.
But Perez-Martin told investigators that never happened — and that Roman got angry at her for not changing her story or agreeing to press charges, the report said. Judge Leesfield and another judge who were present said the whole episode “was a setup” by Roman to get Calli in trouble.
With a nose for news, and in the finest traditions of Wooward and Bernstein, Ovalle sunk his teeth into the story, peanuts, no butter, no jelly, and ended up with his groundbreaking reporting as listed above.
We imagine Ovalle, after the story was printed, having repaired to some Herald watering hole, sharing with colleagues the mystery and intrigue involved in bringing the "Nuts" story to light.
Then enter the National Peanut Board, who sent our hero this tweet:
Nixon had his enemies list, at the top of which was the Washington Post and their reporters. Now comes the National Peanut Board.
