People just cannot get enough of this blog.
Anonymous said:
this blog still gets visitors?
Rumpole replies: Apparently you, for one.
Anonymous said:
Currently, the blog's readership is at an all-time LOW.
Rumpole replies: Check the stats:
Total Visitors:
125,416
Average Per Day
396
Average Visit Length
5:21
Today
182
This Week
2,769
125K + visits in less than one year. Not bad for an old hack.
Anonymous said:
Perhaps its the end of the blog? It wouldn't be too soon ... sorry, rump, but some rocks should not be turned over!
Rumpole replies: We have not yet begun to rake the muck!!!
Anonymous moans:
why, why is the blog ending this way.
is there no more lies or rumors to be said. is there no more stupid jokes at the expense of some PD or ASA or Judge.oh why....
Rumpole replies: Buck up old chap. Things could be worse. You could be in a line for a status report and on the last page of the calendar before Judge Areces.
Not to toot our own horn, but the blog last week had truly one of it’s finest hours as two legends of the Miami criminal law community reminisced about one of the biggest cases in this city’s history. We’ll take Abe Laeser and Roy Black’s war stories any day of the week.
Plus, and we have said this before: This blog is founded upon the bedrock principle that when a lawyer puts on a black robe, (some of them) say and do things so dumb, that there will always be something to write about. True, we did not have our normal post up this Monday, but there were some “intervening factors” (Chateau Miami River) shall we say that affected our Sunday night and Monday morning.
Fear not, we are not going anywhere, especially since we don’t have much else to do.
See You In Court.
PS We were 4-1 for our football picks yesterday, including remaining undefeated for the season on our over/under picks. So if nothing else, this blog can make you a few bucks in the office pool. (oops. we forgot. We can't speak about the SAO's office pool.)
Rump, why use of the word "muck?" This is a specific term. Just curious.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of fans Rumpole, my name is Bennett Brummer- and I'm your fan.
ReplyDeleteI think it is time that I offer you and your readers an explaination for the "banned by Brummer" approach to entry into The Law Offices of Bennett H. Brummer.
First off, I'm the Public Defender and I can do whatever the fuck I want when I want. For example, I'm for free speech unless I'm getting called a shitbird by an even bigger shitbird then I. There, I draw the line. Richardson, is banned for life. As for Overmenn and Pettus, I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one. I think I banned them for failure to support my bid for re-election but I will double check with Rory.
Rumpole, I hope this is a sufficent explaination. Please do not hesitate to come over to the law office if you have any further questions, as you are not banned.
umm... just a wild guess, but the above missive is a parody.
ReplyDeleteMuckraker
ReplyDeleteFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A muckraker investigates and exposes issues of corruption that violate widely held values , such as political corruption, corporate crime, child labor, conditions in slums and prisons, unsanitary conditions in food processing plants (such as meat), fraudulent claims by manufacturers of patent medicines, labor racketeering, and similar topics.
The term muckraker is most usually associated with a group of American investigative reporters, novelists and critics from the late 1800s to early 1900s, but also applies to contemporary persons who follow in the tradition of those from that period
Rumpole says: i hope this answers your questions.
where can i call to find out if i am banned? and if i am not banned, how can i get banned?
ReplyDeleteRump...I thought I caught you somehow with the word muck...but once again...you are way to smart for me!!!
ReplyDeleteCall 1-800-ban-by-bb for an automated update on whether you are banned. Just enter your bar number, ss#, and a major credit card and you will find out your status.
ReplyDeleteOr you can show up to the door and say "Order of Muffins for Mr. Stein" and if they admit you, you're OK. If they grab the bag of muffins from your hand and slam the door, take the hint.
OK. Here's the deal. Joel Denaro is obsessed with the blog. He could be Rumpole, but he hasn't been around long enough. But if you add in the L&L twins, (Lurvey & Lyons) then you've got your Rumpole. Kind of simple when you think about it.
ReplyDeletesome idiot wrote in Friday's post:
ReplyDeleteThe blog is run by and its biggest proponents are approximately 20 attorneys and judges who delight in gossip and character assassination. If you want to have an idea who Rumpole is go to the au bon pain at about 8-845 a.m.It the table with all the cool guys, average age 50, and almost always one judge present getting his ass kissed. Absolutely pathetic.
Rumpole responds: 1) no one would ever mistake me for cool.
2) I have a firm belief about ever arriving in court before 9:30.
3) i run the blog myself. Literally no one, and I mean NO ONE knows my identity.
4) I don't kiss the ass of anyone. Judge, prosecutor, client.
5) Please do us all a favour and stop reading. I don't need your participation. I do this for my own satisfaction and for absolutely no other reason.
6) The group of lawyers and Judges in Au Bon Pain who sit and chat have been at this since before you were in College. They are friends and colleagues.
Rumpole, calm down, just calm the fuck down
ReplyDeleterumpole
ReplyDeletei need your favorite scribes cell #-i got some dish.
Defense counsel was giving his summation in a case involving a client who had been charged with murdering his wife, even though her body had never been found. He tried to the best of his ability to sow the minds of the jurors with the seeds of reasonable doubt, dramatically proclaiming that nobody could demonstrate that the alleged victim was even dead. Every eye in the courtroom gazed in the direction indicated by his outstretched arm as he pointed to the doors at the back of the courtroom and thundered, "Why, she might walk through those doors any second now!"
ReplyDeleteIt was a masterful technique. When the jurors realized that they themselves had been expecting the supposedly dead woman to burst through the courtroom doors just then, how could they possibly maintain they were sure beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant had killed her?
The prosecutor was undaunted. Slowly rising from his seat behind the table, he too gestured towards the courtroom doors. But his voice was calm as he looked the jurors in the eye and began to speak: "Every head in this courtroom turned toward that door just now — every head except one, that of the defendant. He didn't bother to look because he knows she's not going to walk through that door. He killed her."
will the muckraker investigate the 1st floor bathrooms of the REG. I thought I would share a classic one liner i overheard as i passed the womens bathroom last week.
ReplyDeleteA sweet older female, likely a mom of a defendant, opened the door, caught a whiff, and uttered this classic line which made me laugh so hard i could barely contain myself and had tears of laughter in my eyes.
(as she opened the door and caught the whiff, and immediately closed the door and walked away)
"Damn, you got to drop that off at home before you come up in here"
8:23 did that really happen.
ReplyDeleteps. I need that cell # too.
You can email Oh Susannah at
ReplyDeleteSNesmith@miamiherald.com
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeletewill the muckraker investigate the 1st floor bathrooms of the REG.
Rumole says without hesitation: NO
BROKEN GOVERNMENT?
ReplyDeleteProps to State Representative Ralph Azar for leaving two voice mails on another representatives voice mail and dropping "N" bombs towards the African American representative. In typical US Gov't fashion, he blames his actions on alcohol.
Does the government know something we dont? Whenever you act like an ass, a racist, or a pedophile, just blame it on alcohol.
Please vote out EVERY congressional incumbent in the upcoming election.
In the meantime, every one of my clients will be entering an affirmative defense of being a drunk to every crime for which they are accused.
rumpole wants someone to stop reading his blog because they said something he didn't like. kinda of like prior restraint, censorship. it is impossible for one attorney to run this blog given the detail of some posts such as when elections were coming up in september and other posts. who do you think you are kidding. and your admission to never going to court until 930 affirms that you do death penalty cases and hang out in au bon pain gossiping past the time everyone else goes to court. and if you don't hang out there how do you know so much about those who do. a good cross examiner usually doesn't stand up too well when crossed himself.
ReplyDeletelurvey, lyons and denaro have NOT been around long enough to be rumpole. neither is fingerhut. reiff doesnt have the wit, though milt hersch is a possibilty. milt, however, is a much better writer than rumpole and wouldnt use the same tired prose over and over.
ReplyDeletethe profile of rumpole is a white, non-hispanic, jewish male approximately 48-55, with no wife and no small children about. he is not athletic and doesnt gamble at cards in vegas, though he will place bets with a bookie.
hes been here in miami a long time, but originally from either the northeast or midwest. his pompous attitude was the catalyst for his divorce. he now has hair in his ears and doesnt care.
he professes to not know people who may e-mail him in his effort to throw them off the scent. yet, we are such a small community at the regjb that anyone who knows a, b and c, definitely knows d. so, he is insecure and uses weak attempts at misdirection.
he is a former pd or asa. more likely the latter than the former. he could have worked for hubbard, gerstein or reno, or a combination.
more to come.
PROFILER: YOUR ANALYSIS IS EXCELLENT, EITHER YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT TRIAL LAWYER OR KNOW WHO RUMPOLE IS AND ARE PART OF HIS TEAM. ADD THIS TO PROFILE: HE DRIVES A SPORTS CAR, HAS A SMALL P...S, NO ATHLETIC ABILITY, WORSHIPS ATTORNEYS WHO PROBABLY AREN'T MUCH MORE TALENTED BUT HAVE ACHIEVED FAME AND MORE MONEY, OFFICE IS NOT NEAR COURTHOUSE BUT RELIES ON MANY WHO HANG OUT AT AU PAIN FOR GOSSIP, PROBABLY OVER 55 YEARS OF AGE, PRIMARILY STATE PRACTICE. POSSIBLY SY GAER. PROBABLY IN FAILING HEALTH OR GETTING READY TO RETIRE SO WHAT THE HELL, I'LL PISS OFF A LOT OF PEOPLE AND MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS AT THE SAME TIME BEFORE I MEET MY MAKER WHO WILL BE HAPPY THAT I DEFENDED THE POOR AND LIMITED HOW MANY YEARS MANY PEOPLE SPENT IN A CAGE BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT WANTS TO KEEP POOR PEOPLE WITH BROWN AND BLACK SKIN DOWN, WHITES IN POWER, AND OPERA OVER GUN CONTROL AND ANTI-POVERTY AND ANTI-CRIME PROGRAMS AND FACILITIES. HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE OUT OF WORK IF WE DIDN'T ARREST AND INCARCERATE ALL THAT WE DO. BITTER LAWYER OUT!
ReplyDeleterumpole is dead
ReplyDeleteokay.....I need to figure out a question. Who is going to be the Director of the Department of Corrections ? Since Commish Martinez blew off the agenda item on Tuesday and deferred choosing the Director until Nov. 2006 and the poor man (future director) ?, was in the audience ready to be intoduced and they refused to meet with him, another slap in the face...(proves our Commishes are uncooth) they refused to acknowledge the man......so someone tell me whats going to happen ? This Departmet has always been directed by Damian!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCmment about Azar...fool for leavig a voice mesage, fool for saying the N word...but Barrero shpuld worry ore about having his brothers..Eddie Monsters forehead fixed and stop pretending the phone call was so threatening....very much a political ploy and a major game...bad bad Barrero for beig such a cry baby...like u are so perfect ??? You could have handled this personally unless you, once again have your own agenda ?????
ReplyDelete