ALL POLITICS ARE LOCAL

A reader wrote:

Cathy Parks resigned from Fowler White today. Rumor is that she's going to run against someone.

Rumpole says, who cares? Attorneys resign all the time. Nixon was an attorney and he resigned and look where it got him.


A READER NORTH OF THE BORDER FIRES A SHOT IN OUR DIRECTION

Unlike down south in the banana republic, we like our judges up here and believe in a nice old boy system of keeping them in so that we don’t have a revolving door for judges like you have down there in the Republic

Rumpole responds: You poor unimaginative, beaten up excuse for an attorney. Practicing North of the Border has damaged your brain if the best thing you can call us is a Banana Republic. We have been called worse names by better people than you. Go back to your immigrant hunting, English language only loving (Miami disposed of that issue in the 70’s) tyrants in black robes and beg for top of the guidelines. We may have a revolving door judiciary, but soon, at least all of them will be named Gonzalez or Rodriguez, so there!


MEMO TO JUDGE ISRAEL REYES

Please inform your bailiff 1) This is the United States of America and courtrooms are open to the public 2) If a person is summoned to court they will not have a subpoena, but a “notice of court appearance."

What happens in Judge Reyes' courtroom is that right before calendar, his eager beaver bailiff comes charging in and starts asking everyone to produce their “subpoena for court.” Well, unless they’re a witness, they won’t have a subpoena. But why get technical with a legal genius like the bailiff?

Memo to the bailiff: We know you have a tough job. We know its kinda fun to order people around. But your courtroom is really our courtroom. “Our” being the citizens of Dade County and the United States of America. Yes, those same defendants and their families that you like to order around and toss out own that courtroom and have every right to be in that courtroom despite your best efforts to make them feel they are doing something wrong and need your permission to breathe in that courtroom.

Listen Mr. Bailiff, most people in court are scared to death. Not that they should be scared of your Judge, as he is one of the best and fairest around. But the nature of the business is that people are scared. And if they bring their wife, mother, friend for support, it really does not speak well of you or your Judge to throw them out. Plus, we are not quite certain it is legal.

Just a word to the wise. But then, who are we to tell you what to do?


WHO DA MAN?
YOU DA MAN!
HOW CAN I POSSIBLY BE DA MAN IF YOU DA MAN?

A reader writes in about a judicial candidate:

Don Cohn is the MAN. He's very experienced and is a wonderful trial attorney and a nice person, as well. Demeanor is great, too. He can definitely beat a judge with a name like Rippengill, as in rip your heart out.


A reader looks into a crystal ball and sees trouble in the Hague:

Looking at that list of judges there are a few judges without opposition that look like easy targets. Judge Hague is the next most vulnerable judge. He is at branch court with little visibility. He is pro state oriented. The best reason to go after him is that he is broke. He has no or very little money. he cant run a campaign. Invest 25k and for the next 6 yrs you get 130k not bad. Where else can you get a return like that?

Rumpole says, umm...we don't think Judge Hague will be that much of a pushover and we don't think he is as poor as you think he is.

A reader peruses appellate decisions:

Looks like Bobby Reiff and Mills Francis got spanked on Higgins.The Eleventh Circuit flat out slammed them and pointed to the "inexplicable" fact the written order seemed to reflect little of the actual hearings themselves ("Hi Bobby, motion granted, got an pre-drafted order for me to sign? It will look great in the Florida Law Weekly.").There's no right to refuse roadsides and Fourth Amendment coercion arguments are nonsense.Suffice to say, a ridiculous issue has been put to rest.

Rumpole responds: Who has time to read appellate decisions when you can read the blog? Who do you think you are anyway? David O Markus?

We don’t really do DUI cases, but it has always amazed us that when the police want to talk to a suspect in a murder case, they have to read them Miranda. But when an officer wants a client to do roadsides, he doesn’t have to read them anything. As if the person being asked to perform roadsides is free to leave. Doesn’t really make sense beyond the power of MADD to influence Judges.

MULDOWNY MULDOWNY, OUR KINGDOM FOR A MULDOWNY.
Any DUI hot shots want to give us an update?


YOU LOVE US, YOU HATE US, YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT US:

A reader writes on The Rothenberg Doctrine (TRD)

that TRD (pronounced "terd) thing was long and annoying. Other than that, it was the most truthful and well-written thing I've ever read on this blog.

Rumpole says, thanks…we think.


AND THE ACADEMY AWARD GOES TO…..

Some readers came up with a suggestion on voting for the best ASA. So far Charlie Johnson is the winner, but this is good fodder for a poll. So Charlie gets the poll position on the poll so to speak. But any good poll on the SAO is not worth its weight in salt unless it pokes fun at everyone’s favorites sunny guy, Abe Laser. So Mr. Laser makes the poll as well. Post a couple of more names and we will put the poll up. If this is a serious poll, we also suggest David Gilbert, Reid Ruben should be included.

See You In Court glaring at Judge Reyes's bailiff.