Our favorite Bard wrote “It is the purpose that makes strong the vow.”
The Here’s an idea that’s been on our minds for a while:
TRIAL LAWYERS' BILL OF RIGHTS.
The Trial Lawyer needs protection from their biggest enemy.
The one entity that can with a wave of the hand completely screw up years of hard work and preparation.
We are speaking of course of the Judiciary, some of whom are our wonderful Robed Readers.
Herewith [ and we strongly invite submissions] is our Trial Lawyers Bill of Rights:
A TRIAL LAWYER SHALL HAVE THE RIGHT
1) TO BE FREE FROM BEING EMBARRASSED AND CHEWED OUT IN FRONT OF OUR CLIENT.
We know we say and do stupid things from time to time. But Judges have chambers- and there’s sidebar. We have enough troubles with our clients without having to deal with them after a Judge has just dressed us down for something in court. [ Half the time the judge is upset because we’re late. Well, usually we’re late because we just spent 45 minutes doing an arraignment in front of the Governor's latest new nominee to the bench. ] Does Judicial demeanor matter? Ask Judge Larry Schwartz.
2) TO AT LEAST ONE WEEK AFTER RETURNING FROM VACATION BEFORE STARTING TRIAL.
This one really frosts our ass a little bit. We have an important trial. And when the Judge suggests a date, we tell the Judge we have an FACDL Ski trip for that week. So the Judge gives us a big smile and tells us that sure, she’ll accommodate our vacation, “after all , lawyers are entitled to a vacation as well.”
The Trial Lawyer needs protection from their biggest enemy.
The one entity that can with a wave of the hand completely screw up years of hard work and preparation.
We are speaking of course of the Judiciary, some of whom are our wonderful Robed Readers.
Herewith [ and we strongly invite submissions] is our Trial Lawyers Bill of Rights:
A TRIAL LAWYER SHALL HAVE THE RIGHT
1) TO BE FREE FROM BEING EMBARRASSED AND CHEWED OUT IN FRONT OF OUR CLIENT.
We know we say and do stupid things from time to time. But Judges have chambers- and there’s sidebar. We have enough troubles with our clients without having to deal with them after a Judge has just dressed us down for something in court. [ Half the time the judge is upset because we’re late. Well, usually we’re late because we just spent 45 minutes doing an arraignment in front of the Governor's latest new nominee to the bench. ] Does Judicial demeanor matter? Ask Judge Larry Schwartz.
2) TO AT LEAST ONE WEEK AFTER RETURNING FROM VACATION BEFORE STARTING TRIAL.
This one really frosts our ass a little bit. We have an important trial. And when the Judge suggests a date, we tell the Judge we have an FACDL Ski trip for that week. So the Judge gives us a big smile and tells us that sure, she’ll accommodate our vacation, “after all , lawyers are entitled to a vacation as well.”
And then she sets the trial for the Monday after we return that Sunday.
Hey- wake up!
Hey- wake up!
Don’t you know what’s involved in a trial?
Don’t you realize that no matter how well an attorney plans and prepares that there are literally dozens of last minute problems that spring up?
No. We can’t fly across the country Sunday night, stagger home at 1:00 am and be fresh as a daisy and ready to go to trial Monday morning.
If Judges don’t want us to believe that the reason the majority of them became Judges is because they couldn’t try a case, then show some common sense and give us at least a week from retuning from a trip before trial.
This may surprise some of you future Supreme Court nominees, but other than the really successful or truly awful lawyers, the rest of us have more cases than the one clogging up your precious docket.
We have clients that want to see us, employees that need guidance and your equally dense colleagues who want us to try a case in their division on the day we return from vacation.
Sometimes, and we really mean this, we wonder how some of you even got into law school.
3) THE RIGHT TO AS MUCH TIME AS WE NEED IN VOIRE DIRE.
First of all, many lawyers who get stuck in a trial don’t try a lot of cases and couldn’t conduct a good voire dire with Perry Mason sitting with them as second chair. So you needn’t worry about them taking too much time. They ask a few moronic questions about which section of the Herald the jurror’s husband reads, and then they stagger back to their table sweating bullets and grab their law school text on opening statements to see what to do next.
For the rest of us, the ones who devote time and energy to our craft, a good voire dire is crucial. It is the most important part of the trial.
We are not asking you to give us a long leash. Keep the leash short. But as long as we’re asking the right types of questions, then our clients (be it a defendant or the people of the state of Florida) are getting their moneys worth from the advocate they hired.
Just leave us alone and let us do our job. Surprisingly, when that happens, the Jury system works just fine.
You want a short voire dire? Get an appointment to the Federal Bench.
Don’t you realize that no matter how well an attorney plans and prepares that there are literally dozens of last minute problems that spring up?
No. We can’t fly across the country Sunday night, stagger home at 1:00 am and be fresh as a daisy and ready to go to trial Monday morning.
If Judges don’t want us to believe that the reason the majority of them became Judges is because they couldn’t try a case, then show some common sense and give us at least a week from retuning from a trip before trial.
This may surprise some of you future Supreme Court nominees, but other than the really successful or truly awful lawyers, the rest of us have more cases than the one clogging up your precious docket.
We have clients that want to see us, employees that need guidance and your equally dense colleagues who want us to try a case in their division on the day we return from vacation.
Sometimes, and we really mean this, we wonder how some of you even got into law school.
3) THE RIGHT TO AS MUCH TIME AS WE NEED IN VOIRE DIRE.
First of all, many lawyers who get stuck in a trial don’t try a lot of cases and couldn’t conduct a good voire dire with Perry Mason sitting with them as second chair. So you needn’t worry about them taking too much time. They ask a few moronic questions about which section of the Herald the jurror’s husband reads, and then they stagger back to their table sweating bullets and grab their law school text on opening statements to see what to do next.
For the rest of us, the ones who devote time and energy to our craft, a good voire dire is crucial. It is the most important part of the trial.
We are not asking you to give us a long leash. Keep the leash short. But as long as we’re asking the right types of questions, then our clients (be it a defendant or the people of the state of Florida) are getting their moneys worth from the advocate they hired.
Just leave us alone and let us do our job. Surprisingly, when that happens, the Jury system works just fine.
You want a short voire dire? Get an appointment to the Federal Bench.
4) THE RIGHT TO BEGIN AND END THE TRIAL AT A DECENT HOUR:
We see this with a lot of new Judges, especially in County Court. Trying to establish some sort of macho reputation, they work until 11 PM and then send the jury out at midnight.
What are you people thinking?
Would you want the most important day of your life in the hands of someone who has been in the Justice Building since 8 AM making a decision about your life some 16 hours later?
What’s so difficult about coming back the next day?
That’s a good start. We have cast our bread upon the waters. Lets see what happens next.
We see this with a lot of new Judges, especially in County Court. Trying to establish some sort of macho reputation, they work until 11 PM and then send the jury out at midnight.
What are you people thinking?
Would you want the most important day of your life in the hands of someone who has been in the Justice Building since 8 AM making a decision about your life some 16 hours later?
What’s so difficult about coming back the next day?
That’s a good start. We have cast our bread upon the waters. Lets see what happens next.
good idea - but you forget that the judges are tied to the 4 horsemen of the apocolypse-you know who they are.
ReplyDeleteyou think the division judges come up with these ideas (except for the wholly evil ones) on their own?
judges are like private lawyers - they realize that getting caught in trial is the worst thing that can happen - so they make it difficult.
PROSECUTOR'S BILL OF RIGHTS:
ReplyDelete(WE'RE TRIAL LAWYERS TOO, LESS $$ AND EXPONENTIALLY MORE TRIALS)
1) To not have to listen to whining about "Mr. Green" if the case is a year old and the defense attorney hasn't tried a case since the invention of the wheel. I empathize with your plights to pay bills, but get SOME money up front and/or have a payment plan that's not set up like a 30 yr mortgage.
2) To not have plea negotiations go like this:
DEFENSE: CAN MY CAREER CRIMINAL CLIENT HAVE A 10/20/LIFE WAIVER?
STATE: NO, SORRY.
(5 minutes pass)
DEFENSE: CAN MY CAREER CRIMINAL CLIENT HAVE A 10/20/LIFE WAIVER?
STATE: I'LL LOOK INTO IT IF U STOP BOTHERING ME.
(30 minutes pass)
STATE: I GOT THAT MIN MAN WAIVER FROM 10 DOWN TO 5.
DEFENSE: SORRY, MY CLIENT WANTS PROBATION ON THAT ARMED ROBBERY.
3) To be treated with respect and as a peer. Know this: the bar exam requirements are SIGNIFICANTLY more demanding now then when some of you that claim decades of experience took it. These kids are much smarter than you per capita.
4) To not listen to furlough requests, ever.
5) To not have depositions set without coordination with us! See FRCP 3.220(h), some folks may learn something. You HAVE to call us first...
6) To not have the term "prosecutorial misconduct" cavalierly thrown around on the record.
7) And lastly, for those members of the defense bar that never wore the white hat in this county, to understand what it's like to be us...
First of all, some of us suck, meaning, some of us just can't step back and embrace the big picture...i'll be the first to admit it. But most ASAs are bright and really buy into the mission. Unfortunately we have to deal with: 42 different municipalities/departments/S.O.P.'s, a police union that does not like our boss, an administration that instills fear in ASAs to C.Y.A. instead of pursuing the right result, judges whose campaigns we can't afford to donate to, budget crunches, a functionally retarded support staff, the pressure of figuring out how we're going to pay our rent AND eat this month, jurors that watch too much CSI instead of graduating high school, victims and witnesses that have worse priors than your client, and more cases than can be managed. We can't just decline a case or hire another attorney if we get too busy. We just sack up and do our jobs. So if we don't return your phone call the same day, stop calling our DC to complain!
...I'm sure this is not my last rant, but the blog is a great call Rump, keep fighting the good fight.
speaking of not returning calls, just how many days should defense lawyers wait for you ASA's to return a call about scheduling depositions, and what should we do about the fact that you show up to about 10% of the depos anyway?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you probably believe in santa claus if you believe you wear a white hat. Stop buying into your perceived "mission." There is no "mission."
Seek justice, and temper your undeserved power with a little compassion before you go home for the night and light up the same joint you prosecute defendants for.
McGillis also falsely accused Ricky Martin of being raped by a man. Wow!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.elsalvador.com/noticias/EDICIONESANTERIORES/junio19/ESPECTACULOS/espec5.html