LUNCH AND LEARN THIS WEDNESDAY

Have a bite, learn to do what's right. 
CLE and some Brie? 
What ruins a lawyer's day the most? The bounced check for fees on that juicy new case? 
Getting a call on a new case in Broward? 
No, it's probably that letter with the return address from "The Florida Bar" (motto: "Collecting Fees and disciplining lawyers since the 1800's"). 

DCBA- November 2018 Lunch a... by on Scribd

Wednesday's lunch and learn with a Bar Counsel Jennifer Falcone and Lawyer Brian Tannebaum- defender of the poor, the weak, the gullible lawyers of this great State, will tell you everything you wanted to know about how not to get a Bar Complaint. 

As an addendum to the lecture, here are Rumpole's oft-sought rules for "How Not To Get  A Bar Complaint". 

1. Do not sleep with your client, their spouse or significant other or anyone they know. 
2. Always get a signed retainer. 
3. Send weekly emails updating them on your case. For example: "The prosecution wants 120 years based on their file which says 'victim and police officer want 120 years' for the worthless check case even though it's a first offense. The Judge is newly appointed from a probate firm and thinks the offer sounds fair. I am scheduling depositions. As always, remember to make your payments in cash." 
4. Do not  send nasty or threatening emails to opposing counsel. 
5. Do not reveal a client's confidences. For example: Client is a real estate developer who confides in you that he wants to run for president on the platform that global warming is fake,  the news is fake, judges are biased, and the country is about to be  overrun from a caravan of monks and orphans  from Uruguay.  The client asks you to arrange a payoff to a porn star he slept with while married so she doesn't spill the beans during his campaign. You cannot surreptitiously record the client during this discussion. Capiche?
6. Do not split fees with non-lawyers. 
7. Do not pay bondsmen to refer you cases. Or ambulance drivers. Or corrections officers. 
8. Meet all court deadlines. 
9. Do not pay your mortgage from your trust account. Or your mistress's rent. 
10. When in doubt, email Rumpole. We will guide you through your ethical dilemma. 

PS: Play hookey one day this week, sneak out of the office and go to Brickell City Center and see the movie Green Book. It will make your day. Vigo Mortensen is amazing. Should get an Oscar nomination. 

From Occupied America, where the boarder is being stormed by vicious thugs (see below) and there is no such thing as global warming (see below), Fight the Power!

Thugs storming the border 

Firefighter mismanaging the forest and causing fires in California 

LUNCH AND LEARN TODAY ! (TUESDAY)

Lunch...AND Learn?! What a novel concept!
Today, at noon, at our humble courthouse, the master of voir dire, Gene Zenobi will be reprising his lecture on the subject.  This is one you don't want to miss. 

Jury selection is by far the most important part of the case. Imagine trying to get Republicans to vote to raise taxes, or Democrats to vote to repeal Obama-care. Our point is that your audience matters. It is crucial that you get jurors who will have the ability and inclination to vote for your case. This is something most lawyers never understand. 

One final point-although we could expound on this subject for hours.  We see very few lawyers who can conduct a proper voir dire. And the biggest mistake we see is that lawyers somehow believe- and this is probably because fools at the SAO and PDs office have trained them to believe this- that the purpose of jury selection is to educate the jury about your case. 

WRONG. 

The purpose of voir dire is to find out what individual jurors believe so you can determine if the juror has the ability to build a coalition with other like-minded jurors to vote for your case. 

Ever see a lawyer interrupt a juror who is speaking? This is what we are talking about. That's a lawyer who doesn't understand what jury selection is all about. 

Don't believe this? 

Come watch Mr. Zenobi speak today. 

From Occupied America, where the US is being asked to pay for the wall, Fight the liar Power. 

LUNCH & LEARN

FREE CLE

LUNCH & LEARN

GO. EAT. LEARN. 

EAT, DRINK, GET CLE AND NOW…PARK

TGK PARKING WOES UPDATE BELOW.

You Know it. 
You Love it. 
You can't live without it. 

The REGJB Lunch & Learn is back for 2015! 

This week's topic is especially enlightening, because no matter where we go, and regardless of with whom we speak, we are always asked about one of the topics to be covered. 

For example: 

A meeting in Tallahassee with some prominent individuals about a pending federal investigation:

Rumpole: "…so the Feds are like a big container ship. Even when they turn the wheel it takes some time before the ship responds. I know it's been three and a half years, but they still have eighteen-months on the statute of limitations and I don't expect any action until the end of the year. 

Client: "Listen, before I forget, my wife got one of those red light camera tickets in Miami. Weren't they declared unconstitutional?"






UPDATE:
Apparently you can't park at TGK. Who knew? Who would want to? 
Apparently lawyers and doctors can't find parking, and since they moved the mentally ill to TGK,  (insert your random joke about the judiciary here) doctor/experts have been circling the parking lot in frustration, with nary a parking spot to be found. 
Can a valet service be far off? 

Here is Judge Sayfie's letter to the jail director. Note the cautious criticism, and the excessive courtesy, praising the director for having his finger on the pulse of the problem. You don't get to be a chief without knowing how to take care of the indians. 

LUNCH AND LEARN

The lunch time CLE Seminar "Lunch and Learn" will be held this Thursday in courtroom 4-6 at noon.

A Judge will be presenting the topic. We're not making this up: Incompetency. Make of it what you will.

Incompetency means never having to say "I plead guilty".

COMING UP:

Thursday: The Captain reports on judicial elections. 

Friday: "Merciless" and "The Perversion of Justice"

Only on the best legal blog in the country. *




* In our opinion.