The government is shutdown. What does that mean? Glad you asked.
Q: Will the judges still come to court and work?
A: Unfortunately, yes.
Q: What about jury trials?
A: You should try and win them.
Q: What about the IRS?
A: They have funding for a week, after that - f -em.
Q: How long will this last?
A: Rumpole says the two sides will not come to a resolution until at least the third week of October.
Q: What about the stock market?
A: Generally, the market shrugs off Gov shutdowns. We are watching some stocks that we like that have government contracts like Palantir. If they fall, we are a buyer.
Q: Will this affect the football season?
A: Are you crazy? The politicians will let social security payments stop and the FDA stop issuing warnings about health issues, but on important matters like the Cleveland Browns switching QBs this weekend, nothing will get in the way of that. It's in the bible and Constitution you know.
Some Government shutdown headlines.
The Dear Leader is taking advantage of the shutdown to clean up some messy matters. For example, he fired Vermont: "Everyone says to get rid of Vermont. What do they do? We don't need maple syrup, and they have communist senators, so I have fired the state. Canada can have Vermont if they are stupid enough to take it."
The Dear Leader also announced the invasion of Portland. "October first will be remembered must like June 6, where brave soldiers invaded a dangerous territory to fight for freedom. No longer will the thugs of Portland be able to roam the streets cursing the President."
And finally, the Dear Leader cut off all federal funds for New York. "They want to elect a commie? Watch what I do. Plus, the government is shut down, so there is no money. Invite me to the UN and stop escalator will you? Try getting around when there is no money for the subway or buses. But we are going to keep open those .99 cent pizza places open. Everyone says it's great pizza, and also Papaya Dog. Nothing better than a papaya juice and hot dog, even in a city run by commies."
