Not to be outdone by Alabamah Judges, our own Miamah Judge has issued an order with this footnote about the expert witness who testified:
Mr. Collier is also a Chicago Cubs fan. Tr. 8. Standing alone, that may not qualify him as an expert witness; but it does demonstrate loyalty, the ability to weather suffering, and an unquenchable hope. In the words of columnist George Will, “Cubs fans are 90 percent scar tissue.” See https://www.azquotes.com/quote/1388745. Surely these good qualities must count for something.
Now who wrote that order with that footnote? No peaking at the order.
Based on the sheer statistical number, you should guess one of the thirty-something federalist society judges in our courthouse, because they populate the REGJB bench like boll weevils in a cotton field. And being members of the federalist society, they surely spend their time off the bench pondering deep issues like the emerging philosophical arguments over whether substantive due process should even exist. And of course they make frequent use of Ayn Rand's books like Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology, because they know the fundamental philosophical underpinnings of the federalist society are based, in part, on Rand's writings, about which they can speak at length about. Right?
Is our sarcasm seeping through? Just like when Bruce Springsteen (who is playing tonight at Hard Rock) would introduce Clarence Clemons at concerts during Tenth Avenue Freeze Out, by shouting "Do I have to speak his name?", we do not have to speak the name of our resident Cubs fan on the bench.
And should there be ANY doubt, the use of the word "tintinnabulation" in granting the motion to exclude the prosecution's expert witness is surely a historical first in the annals of REGJB orders, especially in current day, when "after carefully reviewing the evidence the defense motion is denied" passes for scholarly dissertations and thoughtful analysis of legal issues in our Boll Weevile infested courthouse.
Here is the order.
Bullard Daubert Order PDF by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd
7 comments:
There was no peeking required. Any Order containing a comment or reference to the Cubs has to come form Judge Milt.
Which Judge writes the most academic and articulate Orders?
Milt H? Lisa W? Michael H?
It’s the 32 year old circuit judge named martinez Sanchez Gomez Rodriguez Rivera Goldstein Hernandez. She always writes “the defense motions is denied after reviewing the evidence I call balls and strikes oye chica “
What a great decision, what a great read, what a great jurist! An signed on Bob Marley's birthday no less.
If only he was on Florida’s Supreme Court …
Hopefully you went to see Bruuuuuuuce!
What an amazing live performer!
An 11-page order! One page saying simply "Denied" would have done the trick, but it would not have gotten the author unmerited "fame," the author's only actual goal.
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