DOM has all the news on the new federal courthouse in Broward, from the dimensions to the menu in the "Upward Variance Venue Cafe" where Beyond Meat Burgers will be sold to help with those "beyond belief" sentences.
Here are all the fun things you can do in the new courthouse:
Go to trial; take a plea; research a case in the law library.
Here are all the things you cannot do in the new federal courthouse: take a picture, and if you do not have a Bar Card, bring in a phone.
As near as we can figure, here are the things federal judges are worried about (in order of importance):
1) SOMEONE TAKING A PICTURE IN THEIR COURTHOUSE;
2) Global warming;
3) Putin invading Ukraine;
4) Chinese oppression of minorities;
5) Continuances of trials beyond 45 days;
6) another Covid variant;
7) inflation;
8) The heartbreak of psoriasis;
Just what is their problem? It is easier to take a picture of the Mona Lisa 👩 in the Louvre than snap a picture of a pillar in a federal court.
"Put your hands up and stand away from the camera. Now take three steps back and lie on the ground. Do not make me shoot you."
Here's how we imagine the security briefing for the chief judge going with the US Marshals:
USM: This week your honor, we confiscated five knives, eight lighters, one bb gun, and one camera phone at the security checkpoint.
Judge: A CAMERA PHONE? A CAMERA PHONE? Why wasn't I notified right away? You know the procedure. If you confiscate a thermonuclear weapon, we need to notify the International Atomic Energy Agency within thirty days. But if you confiscate a camera phone, we need to go on immediate lockdown, close all the courtrooms, and send armed marshals into chambers to stand guard.
Other than having perpetual bad hair days, can someone explain to us their fear of cameras?
2 comments:
Rumpole, my guess is that they are so serious there, if just one phone rang with the tones of "Who Let the Dogs Out," or the modern pop equivalent, granite faces would crack with smiles, and no one could focus on comparative tax law.
We talk a lot about 1/6 on this blog. The commenters often talk past each other with some calling it a violent insurrection and attempted coup, and others laughing at that characterization and accusing "the left" of trying to censor political sppech.
Here's what Republican Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell said yesterday about 1/6:
"Well, let me give him my view of what happened January the 6th. We all were here. We saw what happened. It was a violent insurrection for the purpose of trying to prevent a peaceful transfer of power after a legitimately certified election from one administration to the next. That's what it was." https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/mcconnell-speak-congressional-republicans-divided-rnc-censure-resolution/story?id=82746954
Is Mitch McConnell a liberal pushing conspiracy theories to censor political speech from Republicans?
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