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Monday, July 10, 2017

HANZMAN ON SYG

The Judge Hanzman fan club was out in full force this weekend, emailing the below order reflecting the Judge's own view on the new SYG motion. (Spoiler alert- he likes it).
We received about a dozen copies of this from the Judge Michael Hanzman Fan Club, hereinafter JMHFC, so you can stop sending them. Use Snapchat or something. 

"M...i...c..see you real soon...K...e..y,, why? Because we like you! MOUSE...." Woops, wrong fan club song. 

So now we have two very learned and skilled judges, both successful litigators in their own right before putting on the cursed black robes, who have different views of the new SYG law.

Have at it.


18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Milt and Hanzman LOVE to get reversed!

Anonymous said...

If you read the Order you'll see he doesn't like the law. Just correctly found it constitutional.

Judge Hanzman Fan Club - West Coast Division said...

Judge Hanzman has NEVER been reversed.

Anonymous said...

Hey by the way - where is good guy Jeff FEILER. I haven't seen him in years. Is he living in Colorado? What does Judge LOREE FEILER do now?

Anonymous said...

At the end of the order it says the ASA is from "Division 5 (Zilber)" but Hanzman is from Division 19. Is this case in his division or Zilber's? I heard a rumor that Zilber passed off a homicide case and I'm wondering if this is the one, although I was told he passed it off to Hirsch so not sure. If it is Zilber's case, why didn't he do the ruling? Thought that was pretty crazy when I heard.

Anonymous said...

Feiker is the intercontinental man of mystery- stealing the title from Ron Gainor.

Batty Fake Captain said...

Hanzman has division 19 because he is considered almost 4 times as better as Zilber.
Zilber's ASAs are required as a matter of inter-office policy to handle cases in Hanzman because Zilber's cases are so badly judged, they are required to seek trials in any division that is a prime number, including divisions 1,3,5,7,11,13,17 and 19- except in Months that end in R or in cases originated OUTSIDE the southern district of florida.

Anonymous said...

No one today can hold a candle to the great ones like:

Alphonso Sepe
Teddy Mastos
Howie Gross
Ellen Morphonios
Marshall Ader
Meek Robinette

Those were the days my friends.

Real Fake Former Judge said...

Hey...has anybody seen Judge May Cain lately? Howz about good ol Bennett Lapidus, or the Cuban Rocket who's own clients BLEW HIM UP but he survived, or..hmmm, let me mention some other dumb stupid name no one cares about. Phillip Carlton Jr or Phillip Carlton the 3rd or Bobby DUI Reiff?
Has anyone seen the revival of Cats on Broadway? How about that old ice skating rink at the Fountainbleau?
Wasn't Goldfinger a good movie?
You can't beat a nice chicken breast from KFC can you?
who's been to Joes lately? Can you get a table?
Pizza in Miami stinks. So does chinese food. I like woo hops on Mott Street in China town.
I used to be a judge, BTW.
Good ol Ken White RIP and Richard Sharpstein RIP - they knew how to try cases, didn't they? Also Ed O'Donnell.

That's all of my ridiculous boring observations for now.
C ya
wouldn't want to be ya

Anonymous said...

What age is TOO OLD to be in a calendar call line at REG?

Anonymous said...

Lori Feiler is a marijuana purveyor in Colorado, making millions. Her daughter helps run the place. Jeff may be getting part of the cut, no double entendre.

Real Fake Former Judge said...

Meek Robinette- perhaps the greatest legal mind overlooked at the REGJB.
"Unless ah say othawise, Ah fhand probable cause" is perhaps the most monumental turn of legal analysis since Scalia eviscerated the clean water act.

He was very much a mentor to all us young pup judges back in my day when I was king of the cockwalk.

Anonymous said...

If the learned Judge holds that the statute on its own terms doesn't apply, that makes his ruling as to its constitutionality pure dicta: Since the statute doesn't apply whether or not it is constitutional, ruling on the constitutionality of it is not a necessary part of the holding. That is textbook dicta; there was in fact no need to go there.

Anonymous said...

8:33 - great question. How old is too old?

Anonymous said...

How many vacations do these Judges take?

David Young in California and Colorado. Judge Zilber in Australia.

Are they overworked? It's the only job you get to leave at lunchtime and not work on Fridays.

Anonymous said...

9:26, you left out Arthur Snyder, Jack Tanksley, Gerald Kogan, Dominic Koo, Nancy Pollock, the Miltons (Starkman and Friedman) and the Eds (Newman and Swanko).

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't be surprised to see Channel 7 do another investigative report as to how little Judges work.

They have in the past used hidden cameras to follow Judges to their golf games and kid's schools at lunchtime - and the Judge doesn't come back to court.

Disgusting.

Anonymous said...

How about this? If a judge finishes their work and has nothing pending to work on, let them leave. Now, if the judge gets to the building at 9:45 and is starting calendar at 10:00 and you can't get a hearing and the JA is a jerk and the 3.850s never get ruled on, etc., then complain.

But before you complain, make sure your work is up to date.