RULE BRITANNIA! BRITANNIA WE ARE FREE...
woops. Wrong Holiday. Wrong continent.
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY.
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
That all men are created equal*; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; that, to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government.
Here's a rundown on the presidential candidates schedules for the holiday:
Hillary Clinton has a series of campaign stops where she will discuss her newly released proposals for climate change and the economy. She will march in a 4th of July Parade.
Donald Trump will appear on Fox T.V and call Clinton dirty, tricky, slimy, and a "mushhead". He will also darkly speculate on what Vince Foster knew about Barak Obama's birth-certificate and where Obama was when Foster committed "suicide".
Gary Johnson will just want someone to please please interview him.
No court Monday. Anybody stupid enough to set a trial for Tuesday? Not us, so we won't see you in court.
* well, not "all men", just white men.
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