WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND

UPDATE: There's been a terrorist bombing of an airport in Turkey. Many are dead. Many are wounded. 

The Secretary General of the UN (five bucks if you can name him) issued a strongly worded statement condemning the bombing. 
Well, that's that. No terrorist organization wants to be strongly condemned by the UN Secretary General. That will surely end the suicide bombing problem. A strongly worded condemnation will surely ruin their day. 



There was a shooting at a bar named Grumpys. 

So naturally, famed (and often Grumpy) Miami Criminal Defense Attorney Alex Michaels has the case.

Here is the link to the video of the shooting, courtesy of the Miami Herald and David Ovalle (who's never grumpy as long as he has black coffee.) 

Trial set for next month. 

And because he couldn't resist it, Alex Michaels was quoted as saying "Say hello to my little friend." 

Another fun Miami Trial. 

Meanwhile, guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns are every American's natural born right to have and to hold and to cuddle with and sleep with and you're damn well tootin to use for self defense when the bad guys come. 

Right? 

Right all you fervent protectors of the second amendment? 

Except when your mother has one and uses it to kill you and your sister because she is deranged. Which is what happened in Texas (naturally) the other day. 

 And with all those gun toting Texans wandering around with six shooters strapped to their hips, which is their god-given right as Texans and Americans, none of them managed to shoot the house-wife before she murdered her children in the street.  

The story is here in case you missed it while re-reading the second amendment. 

Yup, what we need is access to more guns, because since terrorists on no-fly lists can buy one or a dozen any weekend, the only way to fix that is make sure the ability to buy a gun gets easier and easier. It certainly didn't stop that woman from getting one and murdering her children. 


See you in court. 

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Susan Smith.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Smith


But, you were saying. . . ?

Rumpole said...

Unless you can prove a candidate was arrested three separate times, trying to post such information with their name in the hope that the comment along with their name will appear in a google search wont work. I won't allow it. Run their name on the clerk's website. Three arrests should be easy to find . If you find something, send it to me and I'll take it from there.

Anonymous said...

Let's ban bombs and make it illegal to blow people up. Problem solved.

Rumpole said...

Hey genius- there aren't fifty million bombs in the streets. You can't go to a a few thousand stores in the US to legally buy a bomb. That's why yesterday in the US there were 97 gun shot wound deaths and there will be roughly the same today and tomorrow and every day this year and there was one bomb explosion in the entire world yesterday that still killed less than half the people killed every freaking day in the US by legal guns.

Moron

Anonymous said...

Moron here. You're right Rump, it's not like you can just go into any store and buy a pressure cooker with which to make a bomb. Right?
Or fertilizer? Not like that's easy to get or anything.

Oh, and if I get to just invent things like you did above, buckle up, because I can make up some pretty good fantasy land shit too.

Anonymous said...

I just go a call from Carmel Cafiero of Chan 7 news. Today is her last day. She is retiring. She started at the station in the early 70's. I like her. I never saw her do a story that I though was improper.

Folks, you may know Eric Aviles, the Chan 7 camera man who is frequently in the media room. He is fighting pancreatic cancer. He looks like a guy on chemo right now.

Carmel told me that the station all chipped in and gave Eric and his family a trip to Hawaii. How nice!

If you see Eric, give him a hug, a pat, a handshake and kind words. He's a real nice guy. He unfortunately has a very bad illness.

Mike Catalano

Anonymous said...

Ban Ki Moon for the win!

Anonymous said...


2 out of every 3 gun deaths in the US are suicides. That still means that nearly 12,000 people die each year in homicide cases from gunshot wounds. The whole gun lobby is out of control. But, I do have to agree that due process has to be respected in the second amendment to the same extent it is respected in the 4th, 5th, and 6th.

We are being hypocritical as criminal defense attorneys if we argue otherwise. To exclude someone from gun purchase and ownership, you must have a valid reason that you could support in a court of law. I hate typing those words, because if it were up to me, I would ban all guns in the US - or at least ban the sale of all bullets - which would solve the problem as soon as everyone ran out of them.

I guess we have to thank our forefathers for this mess. You sometimes have to take the good with the bad and learn to live with it.

Anonymous said...

Calling someone a moron who has a differing viewpoint from you, is, well, moronic

Anonymous said...

The answer to gun violence is to harden public places, make nightclubs, schools, and movie theaters like hardened courthouses - impervious to attack. Yes, it will cost money, but it is the only workable solution that can be put in place today. Bullet-proof glass, multiple armed guards, double entry doors to prevent rushing a single door, TSA style pat downs, X-ray machines, baggage screening, and leave your shoes and belts at home. Just like going to court!

Guns are not really the problem when you consider millions of guns live peaceful lives. Otherwise there would be tens of thousands of people killed every day given the millions of guns out there. Obviously mental health issues are involved, but no one wants to take the time, and spend the money, to fix that problem. So harden all public places. And hire lots of armed security guards, just like the courts do. Hey, judges aren’t stupid!

DMD said...

3:32---Please deduct gang-bangers and drug-dealers killing each other from your 12,000 gun-death figure and see what rump figure you are left with. That lower number should be the proper number of gun deaths (accidents, murders, robberies, crimes, etc) that we should be concerned with. That much-lower adjusted number should be the starting point for any rational discussion on the topic, rather than the florid 33,000 number so loudly and shrilly claimed by the anti-gunners. DMD

Anonymous said...

Let's make child porn illegal, enact some more legislation. That way the pedophiles will stop committing crime. Right bumphole?

Anonymous said...

Let's enact harsher burglary laws. That way, burglars will stop burglarizing places. Right, dumphole? And, since there are about 247 guns in the country, make them illegal. That way, the criminals will follow the law and not use them illegally.

Bloody brilliant! You should run for president. You can probably take crooked Hillary's spot since she will hopefully be in federal prison come November,

Ironically, you can't buy a gun if you are on a no fly list, but can run for president if you're under federal investigation. Interesting

Which brings me to my next point; trump catches flack for running his business and going to Scotland while running for prez. Hillary hasn't shown up for work once since she ran for prez. Difference is, trump runs his own biz. Shillary is elected to do a job by taxpayers, paid by taxpayers, and has not fulfilled her job duties, all that dummy does is get paid to run for another office. Lord help us all if she wins; 4 more years of failed Obama policies. Though bill is prolly salivating at being First Lady.

In all seriousness, if you are voted into office, and you choose to collect a tax based salary to further promote yourself to another office, you should be impeached. Wanna run for prez? Resign your current office and go campaign. We Americans deserve better. Shame for being elected to an important position and abandon it to further promote yourself. (Benghazi????).

Make America Great Again, and reset the clock to zero for days that a Muslim attack happened ( see turkey)

Anonymous said...

See herald Thanks "Omar" for attacking women on the street. Build a fucking wall. Get rid of these "peaceful" Muslims As peaceful as they are, they aren't welcome here. GTFO. Go back to the Middle East where it's ok to be an asshole to women. Ain't nobody got time for that here in the USof A

On July 4 I'll be flying an American flag while you flaming liberal social justice warriors fly a " refugees welcome flag". Welcome them to your parents basement, where you dwell.

Vote trump. Love him or hate him, he will get rid of bad trade deals, fix our economy and keep us safe. Bush kept us pretty safe, props to him. Obama was a joke. Crooked hillary will be Obama part deux. We can't afford that garbage.

And for those who call trump a racist. Please cite one example. Still waiting for that one.

Anonymous said...


32000 thousand gun related homicides a year

80 percent are suicide. 19200
3 percent accident. 960
4 percent legally justified 1280
Homicides. 10560

8448 of homicides are gang related or related to other criminal activity.

so it's bad but not really that bad I guess





No Longer JAFI said...

It's fun to pick and choose which rights we support and which we we condemn.

CAPTAIN JUSTICE said...


Dear 7:45 AM:
You wrote:

"In all seriousness, if you are voted into office, and you choose to collect a tax based salary to further promote yourself to another office, you should be impeached. Wanna run for prez? Resign your current office and go campaign. We Americans deserve better. Shame for being elected to an important position and abandon it to further promote yourself."

Maybe I'm missing something, but what office was Hillary elected to in the past four years while she has been promoting herself for president ? What office is she supposed to resign from?

Anonymous said...

Ban ki Moon Ban ki Moon
Makes the ladies swoon
from Saskatoon to Cameroon
whether its high noon or the fifth of June
It makes no difference to Ban Ki Moon!