Thursday, June 11, 2015


Here is a question from the current FCAT:

Pick the one word or phrase that doesn't belong:

Innovation. Technology. Service. Dade County Clerk's Office. Advanced. 

Time marches on. There are Apps for everything. You can order a car-cab from your phone (Uber), food (hundreds of apps), games, shop on Amazon, watch movies on Netflix, read the Times, translate a foreign language, navigate with a map. 

All of these apps that interface with websites have one thing in common: ease of use. The experience on the web should make your life easier and your time at work more productive. 

Enter the Dade County Clerk's Office saying "not so fast pardner."

It used to be pretty easy to look up your client's case. 
Then they updated the website. And in true bureaucratic fashion, the Clerk's office  took a good thing…and made it worse. 

Now, every time you do a search you have to try and decipher a blurry set of words and numbers and if you enter them in wrong, then your search is declined.  Because apparently in China, there is a big need to know which Miami residents have been arrested for disorderly conduct. With that information, they can rule the world. First the Dade Clerk's website, then the South China Sea. 

Or as Mao said:
"Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun and a slow website."

The reviews are in, and if you follow the FACDL listserv, it's not pretty. Words like "asinine, stupid, dumb, idiotic, and awful, pepper the conversation….and that's just the people who designed it discussing it." 

Here are some actual quotes: 
"It sucks"; "I hate it"; "It slows me down"; "Drives lawyers nuts."
And one judge who wrote "what's a website?" (That's a joke.) 

So take a bow Clerk's office. You've lived up to your reputation. The only left for us to report on is what we are sure is a high seven figure cost for adding the extra step that everyone hates. 

See You In Court where we have yet to be able to successfully log on to CJIS. 


Anonymous said...

Rumpole, do you still hate Lebron now that he's playing for Cleveland. I'm trying to figure out whether it was Lebron or the Heat who you hated.

Rumpole said...

Both. But if Cleveland wins this series it will be the single greatest example of one player carrying his team. And I will give him his due.

Website Willy said...

Rumpole, you may not have to worry about the Lebron/Cleveland hate thing.

It is obvious that the Clerk's office and who designed this website did not receive much input from lawyers that actually use their site. Using the site is a friggin pain in the ass!

Anonymous said...

And how come the documents are not in pdf format? If you want to view a document, you have to hit next to view each page instead of scrolling. And if you want to save it, you have to print it out and then scan. The struggle is real.

Anonymous said...

You can download Adobe Acrobat PDF converter for $20/month. Helps you do a lot of other things too (bookmarking, combining docs, electronic signing, etc). Give up your Starbucks coffee for the good of your practice.

Secret Judge said...

Top 10 reasons retirement WILL BE OR ALREADY IS wonderful: 1. Avoiding the morning traffic. 2. Avoiding the evening traffic. 3. Enjoying a mid-day nap. 4. Having the energy and desire to have copious amounts of sex. 5. Staying up late to whatever time I feel like and being able to watch the END of Cavs/Warriors. 6. Taking a trip whenever I feel like it. 7. Not having to pick juries and hearing ill-prepared lawyers drone on endlessly. 8. Getting in the best best physical shape of my life. 9. Not having to deal with the Clerk's website. 10. Not being able to remember number 10.

The Trialmaster said...

I do not understand why Harvey just doesn't set it up like PACER.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Harvey (8:57 a.m.). I have already have Adobe Acrobat Pro, son. Just making a point.

Anonymous said...

Please Harv.... Fix this. It is driving me FUCKING NUTS!

Anonymous said...

You can use CutePDF to convert directly to a PDF, for free.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to try to decipher the randomized hieroglyphic secret code so I can review a docket in a foreclosure matter.

Anonymous said...

Why not just use the mainframe? (Aka host on demand aka TIS). Loads faster then the website and more detailed.

Anonymous said...

I suppose this is loosely related to police and justice matters:

Police were called regarding groups of people fighting in McKinny, Texas. One of the eleven officers acted aggressively, unholstering his weapon and arrested a teenage girl in a swim suit. He didnt injure anyone, nor was he injured.

Following a media firestorm, calling the incident "racist", and then backlash from eye witnesses who said it had nothing to do with race, the officer resigned and was then rehired.

Meanwhile, a school principal here in Miami Dade County posted a comment on the Herald website in support of the cop. As a consequence he was fired this week.

If you don't see the rapid erosion of a culture which values free speech and vigorous debate, then you're blind. A british nobel prize winner was recently shamed and shitcanned for commenting about how female scientists are hypersensitive. A tech CEO was run out of town because he voted against gay marriage. A scientist who landed a rocket on an asteroid was made to weep publicly because he wore a shirt with bikini-clad women. Leftist internet warriors will track you down, inform your employer, and ruin your life for anything less than full-throated doctrinal perfection.

Was this guy a good principal? A lazy bureaucrat? I have no idea, but his ass is fired now. Remember -- this is the same community from whom we select jurors. The same jurors that we entrust to decide the life and death of our clients.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to whoever sold the Clerk this POS website. $$$$$.

Kudos to Secret Judge for comments Friday at 1115 am. I know I can't wait till the day I retire and leave this all behind.

And totally agree with Anon on Saturday 838 am. One analysis I saw (from a Fox News contributor....yeah, I know, liberals think Faux News is crap), pointed out that someone was behind the McKinney officer in question and his natural reaction to a potential threat was to draw his weapon. He never put his finger on the trigger, then pointed the weapon towards the ground, and never pointed the weapon at anyone. Within a few seconds two officers backed him up and he holstered his weapon.

All Mr. Iber pointed out to the multitudes was maybe the cop was right. Appears to be a great teacher and principal based on his colleagues' comments.

Extremely rich that he was fired by Superintendent Carvalho given his history of misconduct. Google it.

Claude Erskine Browne said...

The principal was head of a school with a 85% black population. His comments could lead to a complications w the school's community. Also he ultimately works for elected officials ( the School Board) who don't want crap next election. That is the reality of his situation.
Free Speech does not mean there will not be a negative effect from your speech. Just that the Government can not imprison you for what you say.
Should a client or his family Trust their appointed Lawyer if they are a minority and their attorney makes public comments that are perceived to be anti-minority ?

Anonymous said...

8:38 has spoken for me. Couldn't have said it any better.

Anonymous said...

For the record, the North Miami Principal was not fired. He was reassigned and get another principal position.

Anonymous said...

mainframs, aka host on demand, aka TIS, was disabled for attorney use on June 1. Thanks for playing.

Anonymous said...

Monsieur Browne:

8:38 here. We are both lawyers. And even though everything worth knowing in law school could be taught in three semesters, we both sat through all three years and passed the bar.

So I understand that the first amendment guarantee to free speech deals with government actors. I really do. Trust me.

But if you think "free speech" *only* has to do with government activity and is not instead a cultural virtue, something we should always aspire to, than I fear for this country.

And I fear that jurors will either not feel free to speak their minds about controversial topics during voir dire, or, once chosen, will not have the facility to sift through important ideas, strong competing arguments, rival claims, and look for truth -- no matter where it leads.

Fascism is fatal to truth. And the modern left is fascist through and through.

Think Im crazy? Also this week, professors at the various Universities of California were told which phrases they can no longer use... among them: "America is the land of opportunity", "we are one human race", etc. for fear of micro-aggressing upon the sensibilities of leftists. And this is at public university -- where one presumes to encounter ideas and debate.

It's sad, really. And it's everywhere now.

Anonymous said...

He wasn't fired. He was reassigned to a position where his relationship with his subordinates was not compromised by his unnecessary public comments on a sensitive issue to the people he works with. Frankly, the man is an idiot and should not be in charge of the education of teens. I wonder how it would be received if a fifteen year white Coral Gables girl were forced to eat dirt by a black cop for being at a party. Oh right,that doesn't happen.

Anonymous said...

Mainframe still exist! They just canceled a select number of passwords. Easy fix just get your password reinstated and forget the stupid website.

Claude Erskine - Browne said...

A thoughtful response, unusual lately. We shall agree to disagree. But no matter how good you are at what you do, when your a middle in a huge bureaucracy, having a big mouth ,even if what you say is true, can get you in big trouble.

Anonymous said...

Black police showin out for the white cop. Ice cube will swarm. On any mother fucker in a blue uniform.

Watch for the movie

Anonymous said...

Let's see, if you are offended by fascist, rascist government agents with guns and the people who defend them then you are a fascist. So I am a fascist because I believe people who openly advocate the right of police officers to abuse people based on color should not be given a government job teaching kids?

Anonymous said...

Once again the geriatric, Alzheimer's inflicted Clerk of the Cort has NO idea what a website is! Just flushed arguably the best criminal justice database down the drain!

Anonymous said...

There is no more serious injustice than then the heaping pile of dog doo doo that is the new clerk site. Bring back Odyssey. It wasn't the best, but it was better than this caca.