WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Monday, November 24, 2014

TIS THE SEASON

UPDATE: Our two remaining survivor pool players live another week, as both took the 49'ers who eked out a win over Washington. 

AHEM…..by INVITATION only. (If you're indicted, you're invited.)


Item: The new judicial assignments for 2015 are out.

Scene: A criminal defense law firm. A few lawyers sitting around the table dividing cases and coverage for Monday.

Dramatis Persona: Attorneys
Judges: Hirsch, Hersch, Schwartz, Schwartz, Swartz, Thomas, Thomas,

Attorney Thomas: Whose's covering Hirsch?
Attorney Schwartz:  I got Hirsch but not Hersch.
Thomas: You got Hirsch?
Schwartz: Sure.
Thomas: But not Hersch?
Schwartz: Right.
Thomas: That's what I am asking you. You have Hirsch?
Schwartz: Yes.
Thomas: Who's got Schwartz?
Schwartz: I got Schwartz, but not Swartz.
Thomas: What?
Schwartz: And you got Thomas and Hersch and Schwartz.
Thomas: Wait.
Schwartz. It's easy.
Thomas. So you have Hirsch, but not Hersch. Schwartz but not Swartz, and Thomas but not Thomas.
Schwartz. Exactly.
Thomas. I don't even know what I just said!!
Schwartz: It's really not complicated.
Thomas. Take it slow.
Schwartz. I got Hirsch. You should take Hersch. I got Schwartz and you can cover Swartz. And you go to Thomas and I go to Thomas.
Thomas: Aye Dios Mio.
Schwartz: Huh? Did you say De La O? That case got continued.




13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately most PDs will be boycotting the Holiday party

Angry Girl said...

Well here we are Rumpole, approaching the eve of the great american gluttony holiday. The holiday when it is appropriate to eat so much you have to unbutton your pants, which are probably four sizes too big already for a healthy adult.

I have written much lately. I was detailed to London, where I was making frequent trips to Seoul, Tokyo, and Beijing, for M&A'S which are being fueled by China. As I write this I am in Sydney, because the Chinese just came through here and dropped several billion dollars in trade agreements and our lawyers are picking up the crumbs.
Fascinating thing about Asians, especially the Japanese. They adore food and have many rituals about serving and eating food and their portions are small and healthy and very rarely do you see an obese adult in Tokyo or Beijing,

But in a few days Americans will, with religious fervor, eat turkey and ham and stuffing and potatoes and gravy and sugary cranberries and rolls and bread and butter and some green beans smoothed in creamed mushroom sauce (to be healthy) and drink gallons of diet coke (so as to help lose some weight) and then have pecan pie an and apple pie and some ice cream on the pies and then unbutton their pants and stagger to the couch to watch Neanderthals bash each other into early dementia.

And this is the way we give Thanks?
Pardon me if I throw a bit of ice water on this party of excess and say that we're doomed.

Happy Thanksgiving Rumpole. I don't miss Miami or the US one bit.
AG

Anonymous said...

I miss you Angry Girl.

Fake angry girl. said...

F off jerk.

Anonymous said...

I thought angry Girl was Phil?

Anonymous said...

Do you have link to a complete list of the reassignments?

Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here with my knucklehead fiancee and I need you to straighten him out Rumpole, When the defense is in standard cover two, and the offense shifts into the zone read option, Mr. Football thinks that the best way for the defense to respond is for the safety to drop down and the corner backs to spread out into a tight quarters zone, WHat a doofus, The clear response for the defense is for the Mike linebacker to designate either the Will or Sam linebacker to cover the quarterback. Whichever backer does that, the safety on that side drops down to cover the cornerback and the cornerback moves into the position of the linebacker designated by the Mike linebacker. DUH. right Rumpole?

Anonymous said...

The Q has been with the Missouri Governor since yesterday providing valuable legal advice about the Ferguson indictment/non-indictment

Anonymous said...

The Bailiff in the Ferguson courtroom is none other than old Bob Halloran , who worked down here 25 years before retiring.

Anonymous said...

PD Holiday Party has sucked BIG TIME since Carlitos took office.

Green lights on the food, need I say more??

Anonymous said...

Where can I see the new judicial assignments?

Anonymous said...

AG,
I'm glad the rest of the world is so much better - don't bother coming back.
And duh, everyone knows diet coke doesn't help you lose weight... it just means you have extra calories available to fill up on more of the marshmallow covered yams.

Anonymous said...

What division is JUDGE MARTIN ZILBER going to? He has made clear that he wants to dedicate his judicial legacy to helping make the dependency division of the Juvenile Court work the way it should. JUDGE ZILBER is going to be the first judge who writes intelligent Orders defining the rights of these poor children. Finally change is coming by a committed Judge who gave up a very lucrative legal career to devote his life to those in need. Kudos Judge Zilber.