From @Davidovalle305"s twitter account, Ted Mastos with client Sara Zamora, arrested for creating sexual fetish videos of torturing chickens. A crime most fowl indeed.
Ovalle's article in the Herald is here.
Our submission:
"Tell me this again....You did what?"
66 comments:
No, unlike you, I was never actually Indicted.
"WTF!!!????"
I am sure ted was saying something like that.
"You gotta (chomp smack) be fucking (smack) kidding (smack chomp) me."
You know Ted was working the gum extra hard.
WORST. BONDSMAN. REFERRAL. EVAR.
What? You were expecting the judge to appoint Roy Black? You were torturing chickens to get your rocks off. You don't get to judge me!
"Really? There's a target audience for this kind of shit?"
"Let's hope none of the prosecutors are fond of chickens. If one of them has a pet chicken, you're fucked."
you never choke the chicken when being video recorded.
Yes, I will work for fresh eggs.
Perhaps I spoke too soon when I mentioned the fickle finger of fate.
We're gonna get slaughtered.
"Little lady, when the studio said they needed more cock in your amateur videos, I don't think that's what they meant."
"You didn't hurt any dogs, did you?"
Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken. Posting it on the internet? Priceless
I understand you do not want to go to jail behind this and will take probation. But I do not understand how you think the Judge will grant bond because your next movie begins shooting tomorrow!
I like 11:37 and 12:01 so far
12:01 for sure!
Did you save the gizzards?
10:45 brings out some esoteric history for erotic hysteria
NO: I'm not calling Colonel Sanders or Frank Perdue as an expert witness.
After the jury verdict we won't be shouting "winner winner chicken dinner!"
What part of the chicken did you put your fickle finger of fate in?"
Lol lol lol I love the comments. Attorneys can actually be funny... Who knew
"Where have you been all my life ?"
-TM
I FUCKING LOVE TED!
Ummmm when I quoted a fee for a misdemeanor I didn't include this.
Ok but why were you arrested in a pollo tropical?
Which came first? The chicken or the ...
I'm too old for this shit.
Winner winner chicken dinner
Here comes Peter Cottontail .........
Back in my day we liked our porn clean and our judges dirty.
I don't think you'll get bond until after Easter. The whole chick thing worries me.
In my day chicks in porno flicks meant something different.
But the CIA says it's not torture.
Your mother must be so proud
Get a bucket of chicken
Have a barrel of fun
You pulled a rabbit out of where?
Mr. Green comes before the chicken and the egg.
BTDT
President of Chick filet called and will pay for her defense only if they were MALE chickens. He has no problem with that but, if gay female chickens, she can fry in hell.
I don't think that is what tarred and feathered means
With these new charges they filed (chomp/smack) a state continuance is in order (chomp/smack).
What came first: the chicken or TED?
TM: What's your problem, lady, huh?
Client: Ugh, I should have called Alex Michaels.
Turn chicken shit into chicken salad.
Wow! I guess there 9 million and one stories in the NAKED city.
I don't give a "cluck" what you did! I'll try to help you.
This fowl prosecution has no place in these hallowed halls.
Did Borat put you up to this?
To all you Knick fans (especially you Rumpole): is it really sound strategy to take the ball out of the hands of probably the best pure scorer in basketball so that J.R. Smith, in between arrests and suspensions now, can start gunning away with 3-point attempts? The W/L results seem to indicate no. #Goodluckintheplayoffs.
BEST POST EVER.
Ask yourself:
What would Sy Gaer have done?
"Well, (chomp chomp), you know (chomp chomp), you can't just do that. You gotta be like the rest of us. You gotta wine em and dine em first."
You will have friends both fair and fowl.
Where are you chickens in this shit storm?
Miami defense lawyer hopes to make Olympics as skeet shooter
While juggling his job in court, Assistant Public Defender Antonio Valiente hopes to make the Olympics shooting skeet for Paraguay.
http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/04/06/4042812/miami-defense-lawyer-hopes-to.html
So where did all the "chomp, chomp" shit come from. I have known Ted Mastos for over 30 years and cannot for the life of me know why someone keeps insulting him with those chomp, chomp comments.
Honey, you're out of cluck.
"I know... but they only had orange"
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Amazing caption contests: http://captionit.co/ :-)
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Sorry to be a buzz kill, but your juvenile comments fail to acknowledge the fact that she contributed to the torture of innocent animals. But by all means, continue to high-five each other and joke about this content. Oh, aren't you all so very (smack) funny.
To 8:28. Poetic license. Take a quirky personality feature and exaggerate it. Think of an old fashioned editorial cartoon that embellished a nose, cheek, or eyes 100 x. It's called being funny.
TED: "All we need is one Hen on the jury and we are screwed"….
4/6/14 @ 10:04 pm,
You're such a pussy
Ted: "Okay, I can do the case for $2,500 and an all access login to the site."
I think you're right, we should not have left that lady from P.E.T.A. on the jury.
When you ruffle the wrong chicken feathers, then you can produce a sexual fetish chicken porn. drmrs 4/8/2014
Make up your mind already and tell me, what do you like better, breasts or thighs?
So that's why the chicken crossed the road!
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