Tuesday, September 25, 2012


BLOG SABBATICAL as we under take 24 hours of prayer, mediation, introspection and repentance. 
s/ The thoroughly unhonorable Horace Rumpole, Esq.

Tonight at sundown our Jewish friends and neighbors begin the last twenty four hours of ten days of introspection. The ceremony tonight: Kol Nidre- is actually an ancient  chant of a legal doctrine: the right to break a vow one was forced to take:

"All personal  vows we are likely to make, all personal oaths and pledges we are likely to take between this Yom Kippur and the next Yom Kippur, we publicly renounce. Let them all be relinquished and abandoned, null and void, neither firm nor established. Let our [personal] vows, pledges and oaths be considered neither vows nor pledges nor oaths."

After the Kol Nidre service, Jews embark on a final journey seeking  forgiveness for sins of the past year. They fast for twenty four hours;  they pray for for forgiveness for sins only against the almighty; and they ask first to be inscribed in the book of life and then finally sealed in the book of life for the next year. What a beautiful concept: the book of life.  

Interwoven throughout  Yom Kippur is the credenda that sins one  might have committed  against another in the past year are not forgiven on Yom Kippur. For that you need to address the person you have hurt and ask for forgiveness. 

Isn't that part of what we're all about? Helping people right their wrongs. Prosecutors enforce the law; defense attorneys (at times) help guide their clients to the path of forgiveness and hopefully redemption. 

Of course that  is an idealized concept. The truth is that we know cops and prosecutors often overcharge our clients and defense attorneys often find themselves fighting to protect their  clients in a system that punishes almost every little slight with a prison minimum mandatory sentence. 

But wouldn't it be wonderful if a sense of the next twenty four hours pervaded our work? Where one person says "I'm sorry" and the other person says "I forgive you."

It doesn't have to be a pie in the sky ideal. 

We believe it is tradition on this day for those who follow Yom Kippur to wish the following for their friends and family:

Have an easy fast. 


Rumpole said...

After further review, the ruling on the field is REVERSED. The ball was intercepted by the defensive back. The defensive back had the ball in is exclusive possession until he was on the ground, at which point the receiver attempted to put his arm on the ball as well. The time clock has expired the game is over. The Packers won. The suicide pool continues.

We wish. We wuz robbed.

CAPTAIN said...

Reprinted, with permission from The Captain:

In my first year of tackle football the coaches taught me one thing when I played CB. If the play was a Hail Mary, do one thing and one thing only. Knock the ball to the ground.

All the DB on the Packers has to do is knock the shit out of that ball forward batting it back toward the goal. And the game is over. Hell, he could have caught it and while going to the ground, he could have let it roll off to the left and hit the ground as he was hitting the ground.

But he wanted the stat. He wanted the INT. Well guess what. It cost his team the game.

Yeah. The refs blew the call. But it never had to come to that if the DB does what he has been told to do for the past fifteen years of playing football.

Cap Out ...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012 1:18:00 AM

CAPTAIN said...



Rather, it is the name of what every fan in the NFL committed after watching the last of 16 games this weekend and seeeing another group of referees make watching football a miserable experience.

Congrats to Fake Josh Gradinger who wins the Suicide Pool this year in the shortest amount of weeks (3) in the history of the pool.

Rumpole goes out with the Packers loss, if you can call it that, and that left one man standing.

Gradinger joins previous winners:

Rumpole - 9 weeks
Cary Clemon - 7 weeks
Rick Freedman - 15 weeks
Miguel de la Over - 8 weeks
Michael Feiler - 9 weeks

See you in 2013.

Cap Out .....

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how time has a way of evening things out. All of us Bears fans remember a game in the 90s when the refs overturned a call (which was later confirmed to be correct) and gave the Packers a last second touchdown, thus changing the result of the game and cheating the Bears out of a win over their long-time rival. The result of last night's game doesn't bother me one bit, and payback for the cheap shot that effectively ended Jim McMahon's career can't be far behind for the Cheeseheads.

Fake Josh Gradinger said...


It just goes to show you that no one should mess with the Fake Josh Gradinger.

I just finished writing in my life's memoirs book in bright Seahawks Neon Green "Won Rumpole's Suicide League in Record Time. Celebrated with a knish and a Labatts Blue because Chang's House of Duck was closed."

In no particular order, I'd like to thank the following people whose influence has propelled me to such glorious heights - Fake Herman Wun, Chris Mortenson, Jose Canseco, Sir John A. McDonald, Chris Scileppi, and Fake Granoff. Special thanks to all you suckers who took the Pats in Week 2. And last but not least, special thanks to the crappy replacement refs.

I do believe I am the first Canadian Jew to win this event. On the eve of our holiest day, I could be no prouder.

Go Argos! and, Go repent like a 12 year old boy who was caught looking at his dad's Penthouse collection while beating a confession out of the one eyed suspect.


Rumpole said...

I feel like Al Gore. I won. But I lost. I feel like every Red Sox fan in 1986. Field the damn ball Buckner. Make the right call ref.

Anonymous said...

Thankfully I took a pass on this one (pun intended). I was ready to take GB for $500. Got a call from an ex gf at around 7 to meet me for a drink. Forgot to call it in (but did remember to pop the blue pill). Spent $200 on dinner and another $100 on drinks afterwards. She reminded me all over again why I dated her. Woke up at 7 30 this morning, rolled over, looked at her, and . . . she reminded all over again why I borke up with her.

Anonymous said...

Good yontif to all. If I pissed you off in the last year -- sorry.

Rumpole said...

We forgive you 2:45. We forgive anyone and everyone (and boy have their been a lot) who left nasty comments about us.

Fake Mendy said...

slachnu Rump

A Man in Full said...

11:57 Story on my life my man. I wrote the book on wacky ex-GFs and booty calls. And the cover ain't pretty.

a few jewish female pds said...

Rumpole- you got the Menschlichkeit (מענטשלעכקייט) dripping from you. We love you.

Anonymous said...

I am concerned for the upcomming elections. Since this boletero crap is going on, Mitt obviously has a bigger chance in Florida since most of the boleteros are cuban and cubans tend to be republicans.

Anonymous said...

Help me understand--- why would most Cubans be Republicans?

DS said...

To Those I have Wronged, Offended, Hurt, Injured or Slighted I Apologize and ask Forgiveness.

To Those who have Wronged, Offended, Hurt, Injured or Slighted ME, I Foregive You.

This New Year I will strive to follow what is both Hillel's summation of Torah and Jesus' 3rd step in getting to Heaven.


DS said...

Old chap, I must admit I am jealous of the post on Tuesday, Sept. 25th at 4:31pm.
What am I Pate de Pollo ?

Anonymous said...

DS, I was hurt by your comments on this blog but in the spirit of Yom Kippur, I accept your apology.

Guest Blogger said...

What about me?!?!

Anonymous said...

TO: Anonymous said...
Help me understand--- why would most Cubans be Republicans?

Wednesday, September 26, 2012 4:30:00 PM

R you for real, everyone knows most Cubans are Republicans. I mean come on. Not all Cubans but most Cubans in Miami are IN FACT REPUBLICANS. ITS AN UNDISPUTABLE FACT don't be so stupid.