Saturday, August 27, 2011


UPDATE: BTDT is first in on the suicide pool with his pick for week one: The Eagles. (and to celebrate, he has made reservations at the Hotel California.)
Kenny Wesiman and company have registered, as have Former Judge Jon Colby (probably verified as the email contains a private address) Fake Alex Michaels, Fake Freddy Moldovan, and Shumie's Cigar.

PS- the Holland Tunnel is back open in NYC in case you're wondering.

Keep the emails coming (see the new address below) and no need to send your pick until the season starts. We still have one more pre-season scrimmage set, so no rush.

And it brings on many changes.....

Many of you have written, emailed, phoned, used sky writing, lit candles, chanted at Dolphin pre-season games, all to make sure one thing happens: THE BLOG FOOTBALL SUICIDE POOL!

Well, after some thought, we have good news: the suicide pool will run in 2012!


1) To enter, send an email to Fbpool12@gmail.com. For legal reasons, this will be the email address you must send your weekly suicide pool picks.

2) Put "Joel Brown makes me frown" in the subject line of the first email. Your first email should be from the email account you will use to send your picks. If you have multiple email addresses, make sure you consistently use one email throughout the year. You will receive an email back confirming your entry.

3) Each week send us an email before the game you wish to pick starts. You must send one pick each week, and pick the winner of that game without the spread. Once you pick a team you may not pick that team for the rest of the year. We know this sounds easy: Packers over Bills, any team over the Bengals, etc. But once you run through the Packers, Saints, Steelers, Patriots and Jets, the game gets interesting fast. And there are those brave players that take a chance on week one, choosing perhaps the Lions or the Jaguars, and if they per chance are successful, they have a strong advantage for the rest of the year.

4) Examples: If you want to pick a team in a Thursday night game, the email must reach out in box before the game starts. If you want to pick a team in the Sunday 1Pm game but get lucky Saturday night and can't get to your computer in time, you can still send in a pick for the 4pm game, the 8pm game or the Monday night game. If you still can't get to your computer before 9PM Monday night because you remain in flagrante delicto, then there are indeed more important things than a dopey suicide pool, and cheers to you!

5) Rumpole remains the final authority on all disputes, but we will endeavor to inform the members of the pool of any disputes and will seek your input before issuing a Solomon like decision in the matter.

6) Fouls: If you mistakenly pick a team you have previously picked, we will endeavor to alert you, as we keep a database of your picks. However, we cannot guarantee this will timely occur. If we do detect a foul and you are eligible to pick a later game (meaning there are teams you have not picked in those later games) you will be allowed to do so. However, this is living on the edge and it is not something we recommend on a continuing basis.

There are some additional juicy details that we are considering, and you will receive those if you send us an email and join the most prestigious legal-blog-football-suicide pool east of the equally prestigious Hialeah courthouse.

Have fun.


Anonymous said...

I AM Shocked that there`are problems in the Jails...by Head of Dade Corrections

Federal review blasts “constitutional violations” in Miami jail system.
The U.S. Dept. of Justice said the corrections department has a “pattern and practice” of violating the rights of inmates.

Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/08/26/2376747/federal-review-blasts-constitutional.html#ixzz1WEd0rc7E

Fake Freddy Moldovan said...

Yam in

Anonymous said...

Can you spell l-a-w-s-u-i-t?

It's a shame it takes that to build a new jail with the proper facilities.

Fake Alex michaels said...

Dis is bull sheet, but ok I vill play dis game.

Anonymous said...

Winner of the pool receives preferred parking at REG, quick pass to get to the front of the line for faster entry to the building, and $10 gift certificate for APB.

CAPTAIN said...

The Captain Reports:

In the NYTimes today ..... On Eyewitness ID and the recent ruling handed down in New Jersey ....

"Although a New Jersey Supreme Court decision this week that set new rules for witness identification procedures in criminal cases does not directly affect New York City, some legal analysts and officials say it may quicken the pace of possible changes the city is now studying. "


"Many predict that the decision issued by New Jersey’s highest court on Wednesday could recast the police lineup, one of the most hidebound of law enforcement practices, across the country, even though the ruling applies specifically only to New Jersey.

That decision declared outdated the 34-year-old United States Supreme Court ruling that established guidelines for assessing the reliability of witness identification, of which lineups are a fundamental part. It instructed law enforcement to put in place safeguards that take into account scientific studies showing how malleable memories of faces can be."


Cap Out .....

CAPTAIN said...


Are you suggesting that Ryan said that he "was shocked" that there are problems in the jail? I did not see that quote in the article?

The article should be titled "You get what you pay for". Anybody who thinks otherwise is full of themselves. We have all worked "in the system" and we know the type of individuals we deal with at Corrections daily. Could we really expect anything more? There are exceptions and a few dedicated caring souls, but overall, the apparent minimal requirements for getting a job as a CO are reflected in the way the inmates (our clients) are treated daily.

The administrative staff does bare some of the blame for that. Better training, raising the bar in hiring, more checks and balances, all of that would help. But money is also part of the problem.

The Mayor may be shocked at the report, but who's kidding who here. They supply the money, or lack of it, and they decide on the priorities of where the county's taxpayer money goes. And the DOC is at the bottom of the list.

Kudos to Judge Leifman for keeping the mental health inmates issue in the spotlight. Without more people like him, the situation would even be worse.

Cap Out .....

Shumie's cigar said...

Im not Just playing. I will guarantee a win.

Anonymous said...

Headline stuff

"Jail is a Bad Place"

More headlines

"Jackson Hospital Performing Badly at Jails"

Here is an idea-

Everyone being held on a non violent offense may petition for release to house arrest with electronic monitoring, both Pre-trial and to serve out time post conviction.

Petitioners must demonstrate ability to pay full cost of house arrest, complete drug program when deemed necessary, drug testing, etc.

Money raised from this goes directly back to corrections to pay costs of modernizing jails and paying additional cost of medical and mental health care.

Those who cannot demonstrate ability to pay may in lieu of payment participate in work release program cleaning and maintaining parks, beaches, graffiti, and streets.

Three Fingers Vinnie said...

Yous gonna be making your football picks again chumup? Remember, you don't pay, you sleep wit da fishes in da Miami River. Capiche?

Fake Jay WHite said...

Dolphin stadium empty
but echoes of heroes gone by
Griese, Marino, Czonka and Morris
I weep for the time gone by
I sit in the parking lot
empty and sad
one lone car under a light in the fog
while the dolphins may not wear this year's crown
the stadium will echo

(C) Fake Jay White enterprises,
d/b/a Miami Rock-on & Mo Money Mo Money Mo Money- visit us on Twiter at @Fakejaywhite & @miamimomomney. A division of Miami Multii-Media and SOBE enterprises, Inc.

Anonymous said...

why is it that the jails in broward are spotless, efficient and well run? every time i visit clients in broward the corrections staff is polite, helpful, and do their job quickly and without any bullshit . Dade is the exact opposite and the only difference I can see, I hate to say ,is the ethnic makeup of the command structure and corrections staff. the "culture" in the dcj is very inner city,the guards sit around shooting the shit with each other and the inmates like a street corner market on ali baba blvd . IN broward the jailers look like me and talk like me. in dade you would be hard pressed to tell the guards from the inmates, and when they speak to each other I cant understand a word of it; pure ebonics. They need to clean the whole mess out and start over, hire a lot more whites and hispanics and change the whole culture to one of professionalism.

Anonymous said...

I was channelling Captain Renault in Casablanca right after he got his casino winnings, I am shocked that there is gambling going on here....
I thought it was a propreate.....


Anonymous said...

How about decriminalizing drugs. we can empty half the jail and prisons if we stop this puritanical prohibition on intoxication.

Anonymous said...

Is this better:
I am shocked that there are cops parting on duty on the Beach.
By the MB Cheif of Police

see todays Herald:

If drinking and partying on duty were commonplace among officers, Noriega said he would have heard about it before now.

“This has never, ever surfaced before,’’ said the chief.

Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/07/27/v-fullstory/2378412/atv-crash-other-escapades-put.html#ixzz1WKNhhMrX

Anonymous said...

Simply put, Broward jails are nicer and the staff is more professional because Broward jails are staffed by BSO deputies. There is no Broward Department of Corrections. All staff are sworn BSO deputies who have gone through the police academy and have been subjected to the rigors of a police department hiring process. The standards are different.

Miami-Dade Corrections is a babysitting service that hires anyone who applies. Maybe if Miami-Dade Police took over corrections duties, we would have a more professionally trained staff.

Anonymous said...


You are right, but hiring Hispanics is not going to solve the problem.

Thank you for your insight.


David Duke
Grand Wizard
United Klans of America.

Legal Aid NYC said...

NY NY, its a hell of a town.
The Bronx is up
the Battery is down
Hurricane Irene barely made us frown
Its a hell of a town.

Greetings Miamians, from the NYC Legal Aid Office. Big fans of your blog Rumpole, BTW. We all read it.

Anyway, Irene was a big flop, thank goodness. Some flooding in NYC, but no loss of power in the Big Apple.

Justice for All, baby.

Anonymous said...

7:43 is a Racist. "The people who work there look like me and talk like me"

The reason why the Broward jails are run better is because it is staffed by BSO deputies. Most of those jail deputies are black. But as the another commentator mentioned, they have been trained in the academy, passed the rigors of sherrif's deputy testing and training and are accountable to the command structure of BSO.

Additionally, the DCJ facility is absolute wretched. It needs to be torn down completely. The stockade is just as bad.

The courthouse and the jail need to be imploded, a new one built downtown with the rest of the courthouses.

Anonymous said...

What is a BTDT?

Anonymous said...


Let me save you the time on the post to the new ASAs and APDs. I believe it looks something like this.


New ASAs and APDs, welcome to the wonderful world of the criminal justice system. We hope you enjoy working in the Richard E. Gerstein Justice Building, and in particular, hope you enjoy this blog.

What you need to know is as follows:

1. Everyone in the building has been doing this longer than you, and thus, are obviously better attorneys.
2. Don't bother reading case law. Only 5 other attorneys in the building do. The rest piggie back off of those 5.
3. You will never meet "Shumie," or the 007 of DUIS "Jonathan Bleacher." Those guys handle 5 cases a year and are all appointed them as PCAC.
4. If you yell louder than anyone, you win. It doesn't matter if you scream nonsense. See the majority of the Defense Bar for reference.
5. If you are smart, you will go civil now or try to focus on federal work.
6. If you wanna work here, you need to learn to bitch about important stuff. The parking situation and the lack of updates on Tropical Storm Jose by Judge Brown are good starts. If you really want to fit in, come up with a character for the blog and complain about useless things too. It's even better if you pretend to be a female and rant.

Anonymous said...


So I guess you are a "lifer" at the SAO? Couldn't make it as anything but a civil servant?

Anyway here is my response:

1) It is not that everyone is a better attorney than you. It is that we have more experience than you. In life and in law. We are trying to help you see that the misdemeanor you are prosecuting is not as important as your boss would have you think.

2) Case law? Once you are around long enough you will realize that time is money, and if someone else has done the research, you should not reinvent the wheel. Besides, the case law is in your training manual, just make sure it actually stands for the proposition the boss says it does.

3) You will meet these attorneys and many others. Try not to be a a prick to them. Some day you may need something, and having a defense attorney that respects your professionalism is important.

4) Yell? Yeah, when the State is trying to ignore every rule of procedure to incarcerate your client, yell, scream, and pee on the clerk if you have to. The result of over zealous prosecution is not your concern yet, but maybe it will someday.

5) Absolutely true.

6) If you can practice law for any length of time, and not find something that upsets you, disgusts you, angers, infuriates, annoys or just irks you, then you should put in for sainthood. Be happy this blog exists for you to vent. Otherwise you may find yourself on the wrong end of your shotgun one Friday night.

Good luck, and see you at 9:00 sharp. 8:30 in Newman.

Anonymous said...

BTDT = Been There, Done That

Anonymous said...

Hey DS. Great idea. Why don't we legalize everything else also? We can empty the jails and prisons if we do that.

Legalizing drugs is a terrible idea. Every remotely credible study done shows that the vast majority of offenders have substance misuse issues. If you think the drug problem in the USA is bad now, if you think pushers do a good job selling their wares, what do you think would happen if Madison Avenue could market it? You want to see your kids on coke and PCP? (oh, wait, maybe we can have a minimum drug use age since the Under 21 law has been so incredibly effective).

Let's be honest DS, how many people go to jail (let alone prison) in Miami for anything other than a real crime? Nobody goes to jail anymore for simple possession. Hell, many judges don't even sentence people to jail for possession with intent or selling cocaine.

The problem isn't that we are incarcerating drug offenders, the problem IS that we aren't addressing their needs when they first enter the system (and when they enter it again).


PS----did you know that the justice system is the single biggest referral source for treatment in the country, by far? People generally don't get help until they hit bottom. Legalize drugs and think about what that means.

Anonymous said...

First philosphically I can not endorse incarceration even for 21 days n CTS for possession nor use of drugs. IF prohibition taught anything the Govt does not have the ability to regulate intoxicants via illegalization. The Illegalization causes more problems socially and criminally that the use or abuse.
Second [channeling] as a libertaian, or a Republican who wants Govt off my back and out of my private/personel life, I beleive the Govt has no Right to tell me what intoxicant I use. If Govt shouldnt inhibit businesses w/ regulations, why should it regulate my personel choice of intoxicants?
Third It makes no sense To save me from drugs by having society turn me into a felon w/ all the disabilites of being a convict.
Finally, Prohibition did fail and create organized crime and huge profits for crimianls. Illimate the major money and remove the organized crime .
PS Lets raise money from taxes and regulation. Growing pot and personnel use will profit societ and following the ciggerette model to discourage use will be more successful. I have seen the War on drugs since Junior High. It is and will continue to be a lost War. Education not Crimianizaion is the key. Lets stop being foolish cause it sounds good or makes us feel good and be utilitarian and common sence-able ( And a shout out to John Stuart Mills)

Anonymous said...

I just happened to be a friend of Cheif Physician Dr. Joseph J. Potier and he did a story on the conditions at the jail in 2005-06.You would not beleive the half of the things that go on in that facility behind the REGJB it is definitely cruel and unusual.