Saturday, August 06, 2011


Rumpole returns on Monday. And not a moment too soon, with a spirited defense of perhaps the best friend a trial lawyer can have in court. We speak of course of those wonderful, professional, fast and accurate COURT REPORTERS! In our absence devious administrators have launched a dastardly attack.

But alas, have no fear...their defender has arrived!

Until then, talk amongst yourselves.

Much thanks to the Colonel, the Captain, a few interns and my English Solicitor friend Tilly for their help in running the blog. Holidays are good. We highly recommend them.

See You In Court On Monday. A bit tanner, a few less worry lines.


Anonymous said...

Our own least favorite Senior Judge Ric Margolius is part of this week's cover story entitled "Judge Me - A Convict Waits For His Chance to Finally Prove He Should Be Free" in the most recent Broward - Palm Beach New Times now on newsstands. The story is about the circumstances leading up to Judge Joan Lenard blasting an innocent guy to 30 years, for small coke sale, in a federal prison. Way to go Joanie. How you sleeping these days?

blonde bombshell atty said...

Horray! Welcome back sweetie! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Rumpole said...

If I say "yuck" will I reveal myself to be a 16 year old?

Anonymous said...

This may sound silly, but how much would it cost to hire a court reporter to sit in a court room per day/year?

Anonymous said...

Rump- on your travels were you in NYC? And if so did you happen to catch the remake of "Rochelle Rochelle- the erotic story of a young woman's journey from Murmansk to Minsk?"

It opened this weekend in NYC, Schenectady, Dallas-Fort Worth, San Diego and San Jose and Wilmington, DE.

Anonymous said...

Those list of cities strangely mirror the locations of everyone's favorite Cigar Shoppe. Hmmm....

fake larry david said...

I heard former Judge Jon Colby is one of the executive producers behind the remake of Rochelle Rochelle, staring Andy Garcia, Meg Ryan and introducing Michelle Funhowser as Rochelle Rochelle.

Fake Jason Alexander said...

Judge Jon Colby gave a directed verdict to Marty Funkhouser back in 2001 when there was a BS charge of drunk and disorderly at Vanilla Ice's 60th birthday bash in Miami Beach. Shumie the lawyer introduced Colby to Larry David afterwards as a thank you - and that is how Colby began producing and financing films and tv projects in California. Lucky break.

Anonymous said...

Rochelle Rochelle will be the definitive story of the founding of the Shumie Shumie Cigar Shop and its unprecedented growth in worldwide popularity that is spawning wildly successful franchises in places like the McMurdo Station in Antarctica, Timbuktu in Mali, Nunavut in Canada, Lhasa, Tibet, Tabatinga, Brazil and Tristan da Cunha Archipelago in the South Atlantic. Go Shumie!!!

Anonymous said...

I have little interest in the identity of Rumpole.

I'd love to learn the identity of whoever writes the Shumie inanities so as to walk up and punch him his self-serving nose.

Anonymous said...

ANSWER to a very good question.

How much does it cost for a court reporter to sit in court per day, per year?

I can tell you the agency bills out, I think, $125 per session, halfday per diem. And I make I think $87 per half day.

And the page rates vary upon urgency of request. It's $6.50 per page billed out to private criminal defendants (WOW)! PD, State and the judges fund I think is billed out at $3.25 and we would make $2.75. Yes, the agency takes 35 percent or thereabouts.

In federal court I think the lowest salary for just an RPR (lowest national cert) is $65,000 and it increases with each cert (RMR and CRR).

The page rate in federal court is $4.40 for regular delivery for everything, appeals and hearings and increases for faster delivery.

Recently in Canada I heard about a method of payment counting words. We all know some hearings are what we call (wall-to-wall words) and some have such short questions and answers that it can be completed extremely quickly.

Now, over in civil court, which I have little experience currently, (years ago I reported depositions) the per diem is quite high and I really don't know what it is. The page rate is greater also.

That is just a thumbnail sketch of how we get paid. Of course, we also pay a scopist to complete our work so that we can make deadlines and that varies from $1.00 to $1.50depending if they check the audio.

Since we live in a 100 percent world, I can't imagine not checking the audio on even the smallest of jobs.

There's also the cost of equipment, software, support contracts, supplies, insurance and taxes. Don't forget we are 1099 employees, without benefit of vacation and sick leave.

I love my job and love being part of a team. The movies of Seabiscuit and Secretariat remind me how important each persons' job is and no one is more important than the others.

Sometimes I see this "rockstar" mentality of "others" thinking they are more important than the staff.

We all know how important the court clerk, the calender clerk, the bailiff, corrections are. Is one more important than the other? Maybe I've been to college longer and I think I can do someone else's job? I don't think so.

No, the owner of Seabiscuit takes care of the media and the trainer, the jockey, and the vet take care of the horse.

Unfortunately, administration and the judges will have to suffer and maybe be humilitated before they realize how important it is just to do it right the first time.

I'm guessing some suave good-looking sales person sold this whole digital system along with a whole lot of promises they just can't back up. Almost like getting dupped by a car salesman.


6:30 PM: Shumie speaks!!!!

Anonymous said...

Bottom line- court reporters are one more example of people who generally work hard, and are seeing their livelihood whittled away. There are more cases than ever, and everyone from top to bottom is making less.

And yes, that includes the private defense bar.

As a result, I will be leasing a hot dog cart, and will be combining NY style dogs with inexpensive legal advice at the corner of 12th Ave and 14th Street.

Clerks- please forgive me if my pleadings are mustard stained, and smell like sauerkraut.

Roger Ebert said...

By Roger Ebert

In 1993 director Art Vandalay dumped "Rochelle Rochelle-a Young girl's strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk" upon the film going public of the United States. While widely panned, the film obtained a cult like status and was elevated to the nom de popular culture when it was featured in a Seinfeld episode.

It comes as little surprise then in 2011 that a remake of Rochelle Rochelle has hit the theaters during the summer doldrums.

It is surprising that the remake far outshines the original although Rochelle -played by an enchanting Michelle Funkhowser- now makes her erotic journey from Murmansk to Minsk. Leave it to the Russians to elbow out the Italians in the second decade of the 21st Century.

In the remake Rochelle makes her erotic journey so as to visit her favorite aunt and uncle- played with perfect understatement by Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. In a series of flashbacks we learn that not only are Ryan and Garcia favorite relatives, but that both were instrumental in protecting Rochelle from a lout of a father (played very convincingly by beefy Scot Gerard Butler) and a dimwitted mother (played charmingly by B movie actor Rachel Chagal).

Along her travels Rochelle meets friend and foe alike, including a very sinister John Lithgow in an unadvertised role that steals a tight 20 minutes of the movie.

Released in art house theatre cities like NY, LA, Boston, Dallas Fort Worth and the like, the remake of Rochelle Rochelle is catching a buzz on social network sites and will be released in wider circulation this weekend.

There is a gentle and fun interplay between the original and the remake, made startlingly clear when Art Vandalay, who produced the original, is arrested in the sequel after propositioning an underage Rochelle in the movie's first flash black scene.

I'm not one for russian films with interminable flash back sequences, but director Guy Ritchie pulls it off, all the while moving the movie along at a brisk 202 minutes.

Rochelle Rochelle. I gave the original one and a half stars but I'll double it to three for this thoroughly enjoyable remake.


Rochelle Rochelle's 2011 remake earns more stars because of the association with Shumie. The directors and producers had the foresight to consult Shumie before shooting the movie and, as a result, the final production turned out to be a masterpiece.

Anonymous said...

Tilingo, tilingo, tomorrow is Sunday. The cat's getting married to Juan Pirindingo. Whoever posts first will swallow a turd the size of the tower of St. Simon.

Anonymous said...

That review was genius. For the writing and the serious take on a spoof. Every name in the review is a real actor. Great work.

Anonymous said...

Must have been a slow week.

Complete nonsense. We are in serious need of a new "only in Miami" scandal to get this blog moving again.

Kudos to Alex Michaels for giving us fodder last week. This place would be so boring without the likes of him.

Anonymous said...

@6:30-- It's not about the person who WRITES the Shumie comments-- it's all about the person who decides to POST them.

The ball's in your court-- Rumpole!

angry Gurl said...

Well now Tweedlee dum is back. As if Tweedlee dee ever left. We all know two dopes run this pathetic blog. BFD.

I watched Alex Michaels in trial. He has more talent and courage then the rest of you wimps combined. You should all be forced to watched Alex in trial instead of sitting on your fat asses sniping anonymously.

I think Judges should be forced to disclose their basic personal health information, like politicians do. Height, weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol. Just basic stuff. Nobody wants to know if they have a STD. Why? Because when I work on a big matter and schedule a hearing that will take a few days I do not want to be wasting my time and my client's money litigating before some wheezy out of shape slob who is teetering between a diabetic coma and craving a sugar caffeine rush al afternoon while I am trying to introduce evidence to support a pre trial motion.

FYI I will be training and running for the NYC marathon and one triathlon that I haven't chosen yet but will do probably around December.

Also- I will end on an upbeat note for once. Kudos to the Judges who just left the bench to go back into private practice. They showed that they are not lazy, untalented oafs. They will have to pull their own weight at the firms they joined to justify their salaries. I applaud talent and effort when I see it- unlike most of you useless slobs.
(I couldn't help that last shot- it's just who I am. :) )

fake Tom Risivy said...

Yea! Angry Gurl. You go...uhh...Gurl.

Big Fan...big fan.

The IMP said...

A curse on Blecher....may the Dothraki raid his lands, steal his clients, burn his crops and take his smallfolk.

He refuses to raises his banner and march for any king. He won't chose sides, playing both the King of the North off of King Renly and the Boy King Joffrey who is not the son of the former King Robert. Yet Blecher sits and does nothing, claiming to support the deposed house of Targaryen. As If! He won't raise an army and take to the field. It should be the sky cells for him.

Brynn Dockstader said...

COURT REPORTER, Brynn Dockstader will produce a quality transcript with a fast turnaround from the digital tapes for a price.

I have been asked to listen to a digital recording and compare it to the "official" transcript from another county and produce a CORRECTED VERSION.

Yes, we are all bringing in less income and we have to work smarter. The cream always rises to the top.

Maester Simon said...

The IMP speaks a deviled tongue. He has goals beyond what can be seen. Blecher bides his time and who can blame him? he shares meat and mead with those who ask and allows all to pass unmolested. The IMP needs to rebuke his devious sister and her illborn son who claims a throne he is neither due nor earned.

When Blecher raises his banner all good people will follow.

Anonymous said...

I pity the Dothraki that dares to march on Blecher. He employs Ser Rogel who has never been defeated in battle and who enjoys nothing more than cutting the hair of the dead Dothraki warriors he bludgeons with cudgel.

Winter is coming and the liege Blecher knows to store his wares and chose his friends wisely.

Brynn Dockstader said...

The offer to transcribe tapes includes police interviews, court proceedings, and corrected versions of "official" transcripts with the digital backup and any other application that might come up.

Captain of the football team said...

Thanks to google, I've learned this latest silliness is televised version of Dungeons and Dragons.

It wasn't cool when you were sitting with your dork friends in the highschool cafeteria, and its even less cool now.

I'm sure there is some other blog for you Renfest fans to congregate and forget your unending virginity. Please, stop this now, before I have to find you at your table in ABP and give you a weggie. .

Game of Thrones said...

It's actually Game Of Thrones block head. Learn to use Google. A little more time in the computer lab and a little less time in the weight room, eh?

Anonymous said...

Doesn't the guy wh writes daily about shumie get bored. Get some new material. Your act is tired. Being un clever every day is pathetic. You're not relevant anymore ( never really were)

Rump, it's your blog, block this idiot. He's so far from amusing

eyeonshumietime said...

shumie Time is a nationwide phenomenon that has had months where it has gone viral.
Its origin can be traced equally to the North Shore of Oahu or Redondo Beach, Calif, - in either event it was surfers who used a word to indicate surfs up and cut out of work and hit the beach. It could have started as Surf Time or Schoom Time or something to that effect.

Some lawyers on vacation from Chicago took it back to their firm and started using it as a code on billing sheets to indicate to themselves that they were out of their office. From there it trickled across the country and arrived in Miami (much to the chagrin of Shumie himself). Law firms on Brickell use it and so do criminal lawyers. Chill out and calm down. We all work hard and ST is devoted to the proposition that on their death bed, no one ever regretted not spending more time at the office (except maybe the Greenberg Girl who used to post here).

Anonymous said...

Say what you want about ST but tomorrow is MACANUDO MONDAY at a coupla dudes cigar shop. i can't wait to grab a big one ( and a cigar too!) ( miss ya uncle neil).

Coupla dudes formely Shumie Cigars of Montreal, Newton, Mass, Lacrosse, Wisconsin, Joilet, Illinois, and of course the famous shop in Milan.

Anonymous said...

To Game of thrones. Braco George RR Martim. For those who saw the HBO series try the books. There are 4 and a good read they are, Martin aint Mortimore I hope thats but very good.LOL eh Rump

Anonymous said...

To Game of Thrones-

The fact that you think it is any different or cooler than Dungeons and Dragons proves what a dork you are.

I googled it, and found it was Game of Thrones. Clearly I know how to google. And I don't spend time in the weight room. I have natural talent, and brains. Don't tell me you buy into the stereotype.

I'm no dummy said...

dum da dum da dum dum ...dum dum dum....I'm football player.
I got smarts.
I can use google and stuff.
I know there is an internet and stuff.
I know about game of thrones and stuff.
And D&D too.
And I'm a football player.
dum da dum da dum dum...dum dum dum...
I can do stuff.
I got smarts.
Its always send Fredo to the airport, let Fredo get the girls (woops- got carried away into GF2 stuff)

Anonymous said...

Call me a dummy if it makes you feel better.

By the way, how was prom with your cousin?

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lt hough the return of the irascible Horace Rumpole to the rather timid halls of public television is reason enough for celebration.

Online Roulette said...

Rumpole is increasingly bored in his recent retirement with Hilda to his son's house in Florida so he snatches the first opportunity to return to.

herbal remedies said...

Rumpole has finally retired and has relocated to Miami where son Nick has a position at the university. Rumpole decided to retire after losing a long string of cases before Judge Bullingham, but is quite bored with ogling pretty girls and reading about interesting crimes in The Times.

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