Wednesday, April 27, 2011


All of the sudden today got very interesting. Read the whole post por favor.

You've been asking for it since Monday.

You've been nervously checking the blog to see when it was available.

Courtesy of South Florida Lawyers, we present to you.....the complaint.

Marc "another lap dance" Gold
Gold Rush.

Who said "Liquor and beautiful women don't mix?"

Not us.

QUERY: What's the Difference between Bertie Soto (Dade Chief Criminal Court Judge) and Ilona Homes (Broward Chief Criminal Court Judge)?

Answer: Judge Soto didn't almost shoot it out with the police. Broweird being Broweird, Ilona Holmes (a former Dade ASA and So. Fl AUSA) did. Check out the video here and the JAA Blog coverage here. Wild. But then, it's Browierd. Here's the deal in Browierd: If you're an African American, the police in Browierd want to arrest you, even if you're doing the dishes in your own home, as Judge Holme's sister found out on Easter Sunday. That wasn't a big bunny pointing a gun at her sister. It was a BSO Officer.

DOM: reports on more big NGs in Federal Court. Congrats to Fed PDs Michael Caruso, D'Arsey Houlihan and Vanessa Chen, and former Fed PD and current legal bigwig Hector Flores (husband of our own Circuit Judge Mary Barzee-Flores). The Feds went down hard on a huge Securities Case.

See You In Court.

Oh yeah- Obama released his long form birth certificate today. Game set and match against the "birthers." Or maybe not. Lots of nitpicking questions will emerge such as why was the document registered two days after the birth and why did the doctor sign it three days after the birth and why didn't the doctor and the mother sign it at the same time. Just watch. These lunatics will never shut up.


Anonymous said...

While I feel for Judge Holmes and her family, I am glad that a Judge has now witnessed firsthand what so many of our clients experience. Maybe next time she won't be so quick to take to cop's word in that motion to suppress hearing.

Anonymous said...

Anybody notice the absolutely errie growing resemblence between one of the L&L Twins and late Dolphin Broadcaster Sunny Hirsch?
Scarey at best.

fake neil rodgers said...

RIP Mad Dig Jim Mandich.


fake former judge said...

Remember when Phil Hendrie did the cooking with Jim mandrich and Sonny Hirsch segment? Pure genius.

no shumie for me or obama said...

Rumpole was right- note the new info in the Obama Birther proaganda- that he was adopted:

Joseph Farah, chief executive of birther-orientated website WorldNetDaily.com, said on the site the document "raises as many questions as it answers".

"It is important to remember there are still dozens of other questions concerning this question of eligibility... concerning Barack Obama's parentage, his adoption, his citizenship status throughout his life and why he continues to cultivate a culture of secrecy around his life," he said.

Fake Teddy mastos said...

I umm, feel (smack) that this is all too (chomp chomp) a bit difficult to digest at the moment. (chomp smack). I suggest a continuance charged to the state (smack chomp) especially as it is happy hour somehwere in the world right now. (champ smack).

Anonymous said...

It is my theory that President Obama was never born. What we see is an idea of Barack Obama as David Hume would have it. He doesn't exist. Not only was he never born, but he was never born outside the U.S., which means that he cannot be the idea of a president either.

Anonymous said...

Does anybody know what firm hired Judge Reyes?

CAPTAIN said...



Rump; Marty Bidwell is the current Administrative Judge in Circuit Criminal. Judge Holmes did previously hold that title. I think she is one of the best that they have up there North of the Border.

to 3:03 PM. She is as fair as the day is long to the defense bar and the defendants. I don't think you can get a better Judge to consider a valid MTS in Browierd.

Also, heard at Mar-A-Lago ......

This morning, our friend The Donald was breakfasting with his down the street neighbor El Rushbo at Trump's Florida home, Mar-A-Lago. By 12:15 PM, on the radio, Rush was disecting the now released birth certificate and claiming it was a fraud and a forgery.

Cap Out .....

Anonymous said...

whats the difference between Judge Slom and Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men? A few super powers, a giant diet coke and lots of tanning.....the question is who has which?

Vasily said...

Uncle Vanya- our friend "Burton" was very impressed with your VW Bug Van. He would like to buy it but thinks 3500 is too much. if he pays in full can he get it for 2900 by Friday?

I missed the owl at lunch today. The sparrow was very busy on the phone.

4980921 9901234


WHat I do not like said...

I don't like:

People who call me sport.
Judges who say "what say you?" in response after hearing one side make an argument.
Transactional Lawyers.
People who lift their pinky when drinking.
Miami people who have second homes in North Carolina.
Ads for the beach.
Women who don't mean what they say when they say "no".
People who insist on soy milk in their drink. soy milk itself is OK- but the idiots who insist on it are jerks.
Not many restaurants carry salami sandwiches anymore. That bothers me.
People who refuse to learn what Tiwtter is.
People who watch Fox news and believe that fair and balanced crap.
People who announce they are on diets. Just eat less and keep it to yourself, ok chubby?
People who profess a love for that new car smell. Get over it.
People who make a big fuss over the year of the wine they've ordered. I get it. You've spent hundreds of hours planning on what to drink. That just tells me you have no real life. Jerk.
People who think "The Prophet" is some great literary work. You and I know it's not so stop. The emperor has no clothes and all that.
People who speak Mandarin as a second language. You couldn't take spanish like the rest of us?

Thats it for now. More later.

Anonymous said...

i am thinking of referring a case to Judge Reyes, do you guys remember if he was any good in court and in trial?

Anonymous said...

I like the what I don't like post.
Stuff I don't like-

People telling us what is trending on Twitter. If we cared, we would already know.
Tables in restaurants that wobble.
Donald Trumps' hair.
Most people.

Rumpole said...

Yes I am flying across the pond later today. No, it has nothing to do with the wedding. I am securing my Olympics tickets.

Eessiet said...

I'm new to working this 'blog' thing so maybe someone can enlighten me as to how to post a topic. In the meantime however, can someone give me some insight on this.

If an individual has taken care of ticket/infarction scheduled for a court date prior to the set date by paying the required amounts, is that individual still required to show up for court? and if said individual does not show up for a court date (unbeknown to him), the judge issues a bench warrant and suspends a license. Is that proper protocol? please advise.

Secondly, if said individuals license is suspended and goes to the courthouse or speaks to the judges chambers, is it proper to set a court date a month leaving that person without a license for that period of time?

Finally, is it a possiblity to file an emergency motion or file a motion directly w/the judges chambers for a date/hearing ASAP due to the nature of the individuals work, which requires the use of a vehicle (city issued or otherwise)?

Michael Grieco said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CAPTAIN said...

Rump wants you to guess on who the Fins will pick in the first round.

Here is a look at their last 10 first rounds picks. You grade them:

1997 Yatil Green Wide receiver
1998 John Avery Running back
1999 — — No pick — -
2000 — — No pick — —
2001 Jamar Fletcher Def. back
2002 — — No pick — —
2003 — — No pick — —
2004 Vernon Carey Off. tackle
2005 Ronnie Brown Running back
2006 Jason Allen Def. back
2007 Ted Ginn, Jr. Wide receiver
2008 Jake Long Offensive tackle
2009 Vontae Davis Cornerback
2010 Jared Odrick Def. Tackle

Rumpole said...

Pretty shabby list Captain when compared with others like the Steelers or Patriots.

Wheels up for me is 5:55.

Anonymous said...

If you could pay an infraction, a judge wouldn't be issuing a bench warrant for failure to appear. Perhaps a license suspension is what you meant? And yeah, the license will stay suspended until it gets set aside.
Hire an attorney who knows what they're doing. It doesn't seem like you've haven't done too well yourself.