SAMPLE BALLOT FOR ELECTION DAY

Before we get to the business of the day, a Note from the Honorable Judge Glick:


Hi Rumpole,
Just a note to let you know that the wrangling about naming a courtroom in honor of Judge Crespo seems to have ended.

Commissioners have authorized and installed at least one street sign designating N.W. 12th Street JUDGE MANUEL CRESPO STREET.

The sign is a little hard to see but it is on the Southeast corner of the intersection of N.W. 12th Street and N.W. North River Drive. As you come from 17th Avenue, headed East and cross N.W. North River Drive it is at the corner on your right at the edge of the public parking lot.

There is talk of a second sign but I have not seen that one if it exist. If they put up a second sign I am hoping it is placed directly across from the Justice Building steps for easier viewing.

Judges Silverman and Farina have been involved in the project for several months minus the publicity.

Thanks
Lenny

Rumpole says, that Judge Farina. Just when we're spoiling for a fight he ups and does something nice like this and the Declaration for Sy that he had prepared.



AS A PUBLIC SERVICE, WE RE-RUN OUR POST FROM AUGUST 23, 2006 ( because we could not write anything funnier.)

Remember to tune in tonight as the Blog has live up-to-the-minute coverage of the election with witty commentary by Rumpole, The Captain (?) and anyone else who cares to contribute.


In our never ending quest to make the lives of our dear readers easier, we have secured a sample ballot for you to peruse so that when you enter that voting booth, you will know what to do.



MIAMI DADE COUNTY BALLOT

Welcome to voting in Dade County. Voting in Illinois is simple and fun!

FELON/ALIAS NAME ADVISORY: If you are a convicted felon or have ever been known by a different name, you may bring the judgment of guilt under the alias and obtain another ballot in that name. 4 Ballots per felon, unless you have been designed a habitual voting offender (HVO) at which time you will be asked to supervise a polling station.

FOREIGN NATIONAL ADVISORY: If you are a citizen or national of another country, you may be entitled to “stuff the ballot box” according to the customs of your native country. Please seek the assistance of an HVO for further information.

SUPERVISORS: Miami Dade has gone to considerable expense to hire polling supervisors. Most supervisors will look like this individual:

The supervisors are there to insure that the voting is fair and all voters are able to vote without undue influence.

RESIDENCY REQUIREMENTS: Only voters who live in Miami Dade County are eligible to vote in Miami Dade County. You may be asked to prove residency in any of the following manners:

1) Produce a small piece of crack.
2) Exhibit any bruise received while being arrested for battery on a police officer in Miami.
3) Exhibit a suspended driver’s license or suspended automobile insurance policy.
4) Display a small firearm.
5) Display a stolen credit card.

TYPE OF BALLOT: As a citizen of Florida, you have the choice between electronic voting and a paper ballot. If you choose electronic voting, please proceed to the exit, as your ballot has already been cast.

Paper Ballot: The use of a paper ballot is easy and preferable for many senior citizens or other individuals uncomfortable with electronics. The following instructions have been adopted from the West Palm Beach Ballot:

AUFMERKSAMKEIT! Du mußt einen und nur einen Anwärter vorwählen. Störung, diesen Richtlinien zu folgen ergibt strenge Strafen!!

When you desire to vote for a candidate, you must indicate in a clear and concise manner your desire not to vote for all other candidates in the aforementioned race. Therefore, you must put an X next to each and every candidate you do not wish to vote for. You then must put a Y to indicate your choice so long as the slope formula is applicable: y - y¹ = m(x - x¹), where (x¹, y¹) is a point on the line, and m is the slope.

CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENTS

The Florida Legislature has approved the Bolivian method for amending the Constitution. The Constitutional question must be expressed in clear and simple English as understood by the Legislature:


Question One: Shall the Voters of any residential subsection, as defined under section 134.087, be allowed to amend a city charter in conjunction with any other ballot question so long as the question in question is not phrased in the form of a question? If so, may the amendment be published as otherwise defined in subsection of the rules pertaining to publication of amendments?

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR CHOICES FOR THE FOLLOWING OFFICES AS PER THE INSTRUCTIONS ABOVE:







THANK YOU FOR VOTING IN MIAMI DADE, COUNTY.

You may vote at any location at any time between 8:00 AM and 11:59 PM, including any participating Shell Gas Station on the Florida Turnpike, or at your local waste refuse recycling center.