INFINITE JUDGE THEOREM

 Two Australians have disproven the well-known theorem that given an infinite amount of time, a monkey pressing keys on a keyboard would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare. 

A peer reviewed study now has proven that the time it would take for the monkey to replicate the works of Shakespeare would exceed the lifespan of our universe. 

Even enlarging the theorem to include the total current chimp population of 200,000 and assuming they type one key per second, there would still not be enough time for any of them to type out the works of the Bard. 

The work that has disproved the theorem is based on the current assumption that the universe continues to expand until it becomes a vast cold dark wasteland where nothing exists with the exception of a few Maga supporters in Oklahoma who don't believe in the universe because they cannot see all of it. 

The work disproving the Monkey Theorem brings us to ponder this as we head into the weekend: 

What are the chances a finite number of Miami Judges, pounding on a keyboard, grant a motion to suppress based on the fourth amendment before the universe cools and dies? 

The answer, like the Monkey Theorem, appears unsurprisingly grim. 

Have a good weekend. 

Here is the article on the Monkey Theorem.