Wednesday, April 10, 2024

DONT GO

 There is a "happy hour" sponsored by the Dade County Bar Association on April 11. 

Here are all the reasons you should not go. 

1. There will be civil lawyers present. 

2. They will probably be drinking white wine spritzers. nuff said, right? But if you're still considering....

3. Their war stories are always something like "Then during summary judgement they forgot I had an affidavit from the insurer indemnifying my client ...." as which point all the civil drones listening say something like "Are you kidding me? I would have love to seen what Judge Monica-Beth Gonzalez-Schwartz-Sanchez-Goldstein said when you dropped that on them!!!!!" 

4. They will endlessly complain about having to wait to use a Tesla supercharger. "I liked it better when I was the only one in my neighborhood who had a Tesla. Now everyone has one."

5. They will want to show you pictures from their phone of their Italy trip last summer. "Here we are getting Pizza in Rome. Isn't my youngest cute? And here we are at the famous steps and when my wife learned we had to walk up them she told us to go without her..." 

6. They will say things like "So I bought Bitcoin when it was fifty dollars and I have 20 coins. How many do you have and I'm thinking of selling my Apple stock that I bought at 30 three years ago and buying Eth. How much Eth do you have?" 

7. At which point they will say "Did I tell you about the summary judgment motion I won last week?"

8.  Did we mention this event will be populated by civil lawyers? 

9. And as you walk away from the ignoramus with the Tesla and Bitcoin you will stumble into a covenant of civil lawyers and one will be saying "So I turned down the 1.4 million offer and said see you at trial and like an hour later their insurance lawyer started blowing up my phone..." 

10. Most of the food most likely will be gluten free vegan crapola. Our whole generation was raised on gluten and we all seem to be doing just fine. 

So do not go. But if you must then....


But wait! We have another reason... 

11) Qualification season is upon us, and as the weeks dwindle down, your favourite judge up for reelection cannot resist an event with lawyers and free food, so not only will you have to endure civil lawyers, but judges hunting for donations. 

You have been warned. 

RSVP here and tell them that under no circumstances will we be attending so the bourbon is safe. 


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29 comments:

  1. I’m going and yelling we prosecutors win at all cost.

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  2. Rumpole? Captain? Who is the front runner for the 3rd DCA Judge vacancy?

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  3. As a civil lawyer former criminal, I can’t think of a single thing civil lawyers would rather talk about than anything but work Rump.

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  4. Don’t even get me started on the family lawyers’ happy hour!

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  5. Big law attorney here - you are bang on for some - very funny. Bravo.

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  6. This is not a MDBA event

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  7. Hey, don't be a party pooper.

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  8. Dulcinea del Toboso said; Obviously Mr. Rumpole, Esq. you have never faced the crushing stress of defending a well written motion for summary judgement, that has merit, and that the judge should grant in a Circuit Court case, for an important client. I am telling you, nothing and I mean nothing, compares to the stress of having to conjure up reasons to have the motion denied. One's job is on the line, as is the very existence of the firm that employs you.

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  9. I think it was very clever, humorous, and not abusive.

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  10. Maybe SBF got off easy? Today a "Vietnamese court sentences tycoon to death in multibillion-dollar fraud case" as per Washington Post.

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  11. Runpole, no post about the eclipse? What about OJ Simpson??? The trail of the century, the Dream Team? Two major newsworthy stories within a span of less than a week.

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  12. What about the DeFede hit piece on the SAO? That deserves its own post.

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    1. DeFede story is a gift from God.

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    2. Nothing will change in that office. God or no God.

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  13. How about former ASA and Miami City Atty. Victoria Mendez’s firing today? Now that deserves a post of its own. Come on!

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    1. Mendez will be re-hired by the SAO.

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    2. They do need to replace MVZ and Marie Mato. You got a pulse …your hired!

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  14. 6:04, for a certain generation of us the OJ trial will always be THE TRIAL. Nothing, no Casey Anthony, no Trump, nothing will ever compare.

    It also cuts to the heart of what we do as lawyers, whether on defense or as prosecutors.

    It's a case where any review of the available evidence shows that the Juice killed that woman, nearly decapitated her, and killed Goldman... all within 30 seconds of where his kids were sleeping. Then he left, presumably for his kids to find the mess.

    Blood everywhere. OJs at the crime scene, victims in his car, at his house. Rare shoe prints. Failed lie detector test. Suicidal behavior and fleeing. Eye and ear wits.

    He did it.

    But the US government agents are imperfect. They make mistakes, have biases, don't always treat evidence well, say stupid shit. Witnesses sell their story.

    And most of all, Americans think tribally, by race.

    No prosecutors office in the country could overcome all of that, when there is enough money to make it all features of the trial.

    Our system *only* works when defendants don't have access to this stuff. Weird, huh? If every murder defendant in Miami had a few hundred million to spend, and the attention of every American to pry apart the state's case, and a boiling-over context of racial animosity, most would probably walk.

    That's the system we all work in.

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    1. Yeah you gotta prove it in court with court rules beyond a reasonable doubt. “He did it” does not cut it. You all say you welcome that burden. In this case there was a racist lead detective and that is why the defendant was acquitted. So if in any case someone with enough money could do the same thing, you should stop having racist lead detectives. Would not cost that much money.

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    2. lol they put as their lead detective a total racist. Yeah the defense was well financed enough to figure out he was a racist. They didn’t make him a racist. He either was and chose the job for that reason, or he was made that way by the job. Either way there is only one verdict choice for a juror who is properly explained the burden of proof and doesn’t like racist cops who plant evidence.

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  15. I don’t believe OJ’s death is as important as the working conditions at the SAO. This is caused by egotistical management with zero ethics or morals.

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  16. Did MVZ order the code red?

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    1. It was a rainbow of codes in his office

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  17. OJ had a horrific history of domestic abuse. If this had happened today, 2024 I am more than sure the verdict as well as the handling of the case would have been different.

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  18. What exactly does the league of Prosecutors do?

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  19. @April 12 3:51

    Say what you will about the civil system, but the civil system was able to see through all of that and concluded that OJ killed Nicole and Goldman.

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  20. Saturday, April 13, 2024 3:51:00 PM

    His death is important because those of us who were in law school, to us the outcome of the O.J. Simpson trial proved once again that the essential issue in American society is class, not race. A very wealthy man was able to manipulate the legal system and, as in this case, literally get away with murder. The overwhelming majority of defendants in criminal cases are poor and, therefore, subject to rough justice, Simpson is free because he spent millions on an army of hired guns. Far from representing a legal or social milestone, the acquittal of O.J. Simpson merely confirms that everything in America has a price tag on it. The presidency costs $50 million. A seat in the House or Senate goes for $500,000 to $10 million, depending on the state. To create reasonable doubt in the minds of a jury, in the face of seemingly irrefutable scientific evidence, the going rate now appears to be between $5 and $10 million.

    In the final analysis the corpses of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, riddled with stab wounds and nearly beheaded, the devastating evidence of blood and DNA analysis, the documented record of Simpson’s past threats and acts of violence, all counted for little when stacked up against the money and fame of a millionaire celebrity.

    Now Diddy is in the news, let us see if his millions can get away with what he is charged with. He was hit with a lawsuit by his ex who claimed abuse, trafficking and in less than twenty fours he settled that case with his ex walking away his over $30million and change. Now he is in a whole other new type of hell when the FBI came down on him.

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