You can tell those federal folks a mile a way. Back in the day of Tobacco Road, they would be the ones sitting in the courtyard on Fridays after work, still wearing a tie, sipping a white wine spritzer while the state court guys and gals were doing Tequilla shots on the bar while singing "Dancing in the Dark" at the top of their lungs. They needed, in the wise words of Sergeant Hulka in Stripes to "Lighten Up Francis!".
But now we have "Elevator Gate" faithfully reported by everyone's favourite Federal Blogger.
The Scene is the Elevators in the King Building. Some genius turned them into the analog equivalent of an anonymous chat group by posting two "Post It" notes decrying the erosion of espirit de corps at the US Attorney's Office by the new US Attorney.
Mr Markus has the crime scene pictures posted here.
But then, remember those up-tight federales we spoke about to start the post? Apparently time (and maybe the availability of gummies) has loosened them up a bit, because the comments are ...well....positively Rumpolian. Go read them. They will make you laugh, from the pondering of the effects of making Paul Petruzzi head of major crimes (which would be an absolutely wonderful move in our opinion) to this genius comment about whom we have a standing offer for the author to become a guest blogger here (email us and we can talk contract and signing bonus): reprinted (without bothering to ask for permission): We are still laughing about the references to counting steps (totally irrelevant to the topic), the pending government shutdown, and the feds use of colored post it notes that sometimes turn up in discovery:
Deep in the heart of the King building, between stacks of boxes piled high and numbered, the fluorescent lights flickered and they met:
Consp. 1: Did you bring them?
Consp. 2: Yeah, but it wasn't easy. My secretary counts these things like my husband and his stupid steps...fuck, don't get me started.
Consp 1: Good - how many?
Consp. 2: Only four - the shutdown is coming and any more, I would have had to explain. She knows I don't mark up my goddammed 302s anyhow. Who the fuck does that anymore?
Consp. 1: I do, but I prefer colored ones - the dumb shit defense lawyers always think it means something. Mix it up...red, green, blue...they think I have some "system" in place. Dance little bitches. Dance.
Consp. 2: Dumbfuckers...the tricky part is making them think we are organized...
Consp. 1: HA!...The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist...
Consp. 2: What the fuck are you talking about? You and your goddammed movies...that doesn't even make sense. You would be a Art. III judge by now if you didn't keep saying dumb shit like that all the time.
Consp. 1: Fine....but it isn't that easy to have to explain why we didn't turn over a report, or keep track of the discovery we did or did not turn over...
Consp. 2: One word...parallegal...stop being such a gunner. How fucking hard is it to ask an agent 'what happened next', 'what did he say', 'what is "Movie" code for'...
Cossp. 2: Now, you best hope is to be a county court judge in Coral fucking Gables....
Consp. 2: You did this to yourself.
Consp. 1: Quit messing around, I have mag court in an hour and need to get these up.
Consp. 2: Do you even know what a PIP case is?...FUCK! I touched the front and back one - they can't be used....prints and DNA - you know OPR has nothing better to do.
Consp. 1: No prob - two will work....the others are standing by to click and send.
Consp. 2: Fine - get on with it....those horney fucking assholes from the 4th floor are going to be coming here soon for their "lunch meeting" and I can't tolerate them explain how they are looking for a missing DEA 6 or whatever again....
Consp. 1: Here you go...bye...call me later...
RUMPOLE … Annual report on your stock picks please.
ReplyDeleteShould have asked me last month. The October inflation numbers are in today, they are lower than expected, meaning the fed interest rate hikes worked and cooled the economy, meaning no more hikes, meaning roaring market. I would have told you Qualcom, AMAT, AMZN, and like Jim Cramer says "Buy apple don't trade it" and bought more at 169, and , ok here's a nice flyer than still has a ways to run--- COTY. I generally stay away from the luxury brands products companies, but COTY is run well, their margins are amazing, and they are spending one billion dollars buying back shares. Yes- One Billion- so for me, good company, less stock available, has to mean under supply and demand the price rises. You have some time on COTY- I think you want to get in before the big holiday shopping numbers start leaking out, and then make sure you are well positioned into the new year to take advantage when it reports in March 2024, I think. Could see the number double from ten, and I'll take that any day. As long as nothing derails the economy - and of course Mideast worries are going to be around a while, who knows- but as long as I don't see anything big on the horizon now that inflation is clearly cooling, I am buying at least a hundred shares a week through the end of the year. Take that for what it is worth.
ReplyDeleteWait. What? COTY pays almost a 12% yield and has a relatively low P/E of 25?
ReplyDeleteDamn right it’s a BUY. Is it an “Own it, Don’t trade it” yet RUMPOLE?
Management is buying back $600 Million? Are you kidding me? I’m buying tomorrow.
Thank you for this - and telling us to buy Apple and Nvidia YEARS AGO.
I’m able to retire and live on my passive growth. Because of YOU.
Rumpole - BUY RC. Ready Capital Corporation. Huge upside and a 12% yield. Watch the price go to 17 in the next month.
ReplyDeleteYes I neglected to mention COTY is paying 11%. Hat tip to Jim Cramer. I’m a member of his action alerts club and he gave me the buy signals on Amazon Amat and Qualcomm I generally don’t follow him into retail because I never call it right and take a loss. He’s in and out of Nordstrom and I have yet to make money on any of those trades. But I carefully read his narrative on COTY and it made a lot of sense. Just remember this is a trade that you’re looking to ring the cash register right before or after they report in March 2024 and you want to be positioned before the numbers of the holiday season purchases leak out. I think all of this was predicted on the Oct inflation numbers coming in like they did yesterday. I do admit I was not sure of the numbers so I hedged 100K on short etfs. Which I quickly sold as the market opened and lost about 1800. But it was worth the hedge. And I moved a lot of that money into COTY So we shall see. Btw Cramer was making fun of an analyst who opened on Apple two weeks ago as a sell at 173. I literally have a rule that I buy more apple on every bit of negative news. China is an issue. The stock hits 169. I buy. Etc. it’s made me a whole lot this last decade. I see it at 229 by the end of 2024. Want to be surprised. Look at apple’s PE VS Amazon. It will shock you how undervalued the commonly still is at 190.
ReplyDeleteJust remember. Bears make money. Bulls make money. Pigs get kicked in the head.
https://twitter.com/TheChiefNerd/status/1724527996642480599/mediaViewer?currentTweet=1724527996642480599¤tTweetUser=TheChiefNerd
ReplyDeleteI bought in coconut grove a now I’m rich
ReplyDeleteThank you Rumpole from all of us County Court lawyers. It’s hard to make fees these days and I am saving every bit of my money and follow your investment advice over the past years. I make about $85k as a lawyer and I have doubled that by your investment guidance.
ReplyDeleteI am very grateful. One day, I will vacation a couple of times a year in Switzerland like my rock star lawyer mentor.
Rumpy, your post a few days has not aged well. https://www.sun-sentinel.com/2023/11/15/boca-lawyer-accused-of-fathers-murder-found-dead-in-jail-cell/?lctg=94D2842F849234A2B539255232&utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=https%3a%2f%2fwww.sun-sentinel.com%2f2023%2f11%2f15%2fboca-lawyer-accused-of-fathers-murder-found-dead-in-jail-cell%2f&utm_campaign=Breaking-News-Alerts&utm_content=alert.
ReplyDelete