Friday, October 06, 2023

GRAND SLAM

To start your weekend- a moment every Miami Marlins fan is talking about (all ten of you) - how the Philly fans went ballistic over the grand slam homerun that sealed the Marlin's fate for 2023. Note the unusual filled stadium of fans for a non-7th game playoff- something Miami fans are not accustomed to seeing: "wait- they sold out the stadium and it wasn't game seven? coño those gringos up north are strange. Arroz con mango." 



You knew the Marlins were in the playoffs, right? 
You know Miami has a baseball team don't you? 
Or are you just consumed with getting a good table at The Surf Club and making sure you are seen by all the right people?

We hate this town and most of those who reside in it. 
Enjoy your weekend not going to the Dolphins game- its not the super bowl, right? 

14 comments:

  1. Dear Rumpole:

    You say "We hate this town and most of those who reside in it."

    I say this with love - if you hate the town and the people in it, then leave.

    This is not a "love it or leave it" comment. This is a "you only have one life to live" comment.

    Sincerely,

    Miami Ex-Pat

    p.s., your position on for-profit sports entertainment is still silly.

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  2. Well said, which is why I am writing these blogs from a home nestled in New England. The fall colors are just amazing. And when I walk into a local pub, there are real working class people sipping a tall Narraganset talking about the Sox or the Celtics or the Bruins out of their love for the team-good or bad. They aren't flaunting real or fake Pateks on their wrist, they don't have designer bags costing 10K, and they order burgers and don't worry about gluten. Real people.

    And some of them are intellectuals and will chat about Shakespeare or Guy de Maupassant, or De Tocqueville's commentary. I have struck up a friendship with a New Hampshire College professor and it's the most meaningful relationship I have formed with a stranger in a bar since I left college. And shockingly we do not obsess on Castro, or Trump. We discuss literature and history and art and sports and consume chowdah (that the bar owner makes with the lobster and clams his brother in law the fisherman drops off every few days) and some beers and it's the most enjoyable part of my week. And sometimes the guy who drives a truck for a local hardware store chimes in on De Tocqueville and the character of pre-revolutionary New England which has been a passion of his since he was in high school. Could you conjure up such a scenario sipping cuban coffee at Versailles? I don't think so. I doubt there are three state court judges in all of Florida who could opine on the contributions of De Tocqueville or reminisce on Yastrzemski and Pudge Fisk and not one who could do it in the same conversation over two beers.

    I do not disagree that there are problems with professional sports. But when you see all the people in Philly standing as one in ecstasy cheering for a team that they support every year, thick or thin, every game, good season or bad, then you have some realization of the phoniness of Miami Fans. That was never more on display than during the Heat's run with Lebron and all the beautiful people sitting courtside loving the Heat - only to disappear and leave poor Judge Colodny by herself in the stands (a true fan if there ever was one) once Lebron left.

    So I stand by my comments- I truly despise this town and the people who live in it (but not Judge Colodny).

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  3. Shumie doomie doomie doomie doobie doobie doo

    Thanks Rump- I do love me a shumie doomie doo -esp on a Friday afternoon when I am awaiting to call the Shumie for a THREE DAY WEEKEND
    WHOO HOO
    And shumie doobie doo.

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  4. The problem with your position on for-profit sports entertainment is that you assume that it is something other than what it is. It is not a noble endeavor - it's just a business.

    I was born in the 70s. Star Wars was like a religion to me as a kid. Then George Lucas released those crap prequels. And worse, Disney made those double crap sequels. And now, Disney has made the very entertaining Mandalorian series. I still love the original trilogy. I watch and enjoy the Mandalorian. And I have no interest in the prequel or sequel movies. None of that doesn't make me a "real" fan or a "phony" fan - it makes me a consumer of for-profit entertainment. The NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, etc. are no different.

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  5. Rump is saying things that need to be said. This town sucks.

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  6. Miami is full of phonies. Porsche or Tesla driving men with hair weaves on their third trophy wives 25 years younger than they are who desire only Chanel Bags and Hermes Sandals and Louboutin shoes and Cartier watches and men who can afford those trinkets for them. They are artificially thin on Ozempic (like half the fatso judges in the courthouse) and maxed out on third mortgages and a dozen credit cards and pretending they are in contract for a joined condo at The Continuum while renting some mini mansion in Aventura and cruising the high end stores Friday night checking out what their neighbors are buying. You’re right Rump. Not one of them reads a novel or goes to an art gallery or listens to classical music and all of them wouldn’t have one original thought if you melded all their vapid brains together.

    They make me sick as well.

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  7. Look I’m sexy, single, accomplished and took a public service job down here because Miami is considered “hot” up North and while my friends are making 3x what I am, my place has a pool I can use in November and the restaurant scene is more than chillis or a local sushi joint. There’s yoga and Pilates a block from my place and every single girl in my building is at one of those classes Saturday morning. The Milfs come later after their husbands wake up and watch the brats.
    So I willingly moved here and I love it.
    And to be transparent- while I went to an Ivy League school and am smarter than my colleagues and the judges I’ve met so far (well one did impress me a little ) I do admit that a man who takes me shopping and allows me to snag some Louboutins has a better chance later that night (assumjng he’s also Ozempic thin and buff) than some broke nerd that reads graphic novels and whose idea of a night in is eating pizza and playing Valorent.

    So to each her own right Rumpole?

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  8. Your problem is you didn’t grow up idolizing Pudge Fisk and then his dance as he willed his shot fair in Fenway to force a game seven in the series wasn’t a highlight of your life. You didn’t idolize as a kid Willis Reed so when Reed limped out for game seven and scored the first four points it wasn’t a highlight of your life. You didn’t grow up idolizing Franco so when he caught the immaculate reception it wasn’t a highlight of your life. And you didn’t grow up idolizing the Yankees so when Dent hit the go ahead home run in Fenway in the one playoff to get into the playoffs it didn’t become a highlight of your life.
    Or when Havlicheck stole the ball. Or when Clemente put on a show in the 71 series so the world could see what people in Pittsburgh knew - the greatest player in the game wore 21 in Pittsburgh. Or when Chambliss hit the home run in the playoffs. Or when Gibson limped to the plate for the Dodgers in the bottom of the 9th and hit one out in the series and won the game.

    You’re just a Miami fan not willing to invest years or decades to have it pay off on one life altering moment. You want those life altering moments every game you go or you have better things to do like juicing the door guy at prime 112 on Saturday night for a better table and glance at sports center when you get home.

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  9. It seems, Rumpole, that it is YOUR problem that you grew up this way. You are the one suffering from what you perceive as a problem in Miami fans. Miami fans are happy just the way we are, thank you very much.

    And by the way, if another man's sports accomplishments are "life altering moment[s]" for you...maybe you need to see a shrink about that problem.

    Sincerely,

    Miami Ex-Pat

    p.s., and as the name implies, I don't go to Prime 112. I bought acreage, drive a Chevy, cut my practice to part-time, and Zoom to Miami courts when I have to.

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  10. I think I used the term "life altering" improvidently. Certainly for some of those moments that applied to teams I followed "a life time memory" is more apropos.

    So for example if, hypothetically speaking, I was standing in Shea Stadium in Queens NY in October 1969 watching with my grandfather Jerry Koosman pitch a complete game in Game Five of the series against the powerful Baltimore Orioles, and saw powerful second baseman Davy Johnson (who one day would manage these same Mets to another World Series win sixteen years later) hit a deep fly ball to left field and see Cleon Jones settle underneath the ball at the warning track and catch it for the third out while the famous "Sign Man"- who walked around Shea all year holding signs- parade around with a sign that said "There are no words" and see Jones fall to his knees as we all looked at each other in astonishment that the Mets- the loveable losers of my childhood, were world champions-
    That would have been a moment that I would remember my entire life- hypothetically.

    Now take some front running Miami phony fan who only shows up for game 7- no matter how magical that moment was for me and 60,000 other New Yorkers- it just would not have been the same for that Miami phony fan pretending that they were a lifelong Met fan.

    The magic of that moment is comparable seeing James Earl Jones on Broadway doing Othello, or Sir John Gielgud on stage in London in King Lear or Hamlet or Richard II. Or how I felt the first time a teacher connected with me about the magic of Romeo and Juliet or the first time I solved a differential equation in college or for that matter the first (of many times) the clerk read the verdict and said NOT Guilty and my client slumped into me and whispered "thank you" as the maw of the prison beast was snapped shut without swallowing him or her (not that anyone would ever suggest there is such a thing as a trial tax for going to trial and losing).

    My long and belaboured point is that sports, like literature, theater, art and jury trials can- for the long time and faithful fan provide moments of glory that live in your mind for time eternal.

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  11. I would not have know they were in the playoffs if you didn’t post about it before. And, until they are in the series to go to the World Series (whatever it is called…NL championship?) I don’t care. I watch them then for the same reason I go see a good movie. Entertainment.

    Now…hurricanes football. Different story.

    But then again, baseball kind of sucks anyhow.

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  12. You’re getting cranky in your old age Rumpole. It all used to be better. Every city is better than the one I live in. Etc. At least you haven’t started voting Republican (in fact you may have stopped when it became indefensible which was 2000) so you’re doing better than most of your age cohort. Miami is not New York. The Cote D’Azur is not Paris. Probably you ended up here because the work is better than it is up there. Imagine what they’d do to our clients in this state without us. And listen we have good food beautiful women and real diversity. It’s a -kind- of culture. Having lived in both places and knowing I’ll live in this one until the kids are out of the nest and enough fees are socked away (or the place gets walloped by a hurricane/climate change and the only industry, real estate, is washed up) lighten up bro.

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  13. Let’s see. I never voted for Clinton. I don’t think I voted for Gore. I may have voted for Nader in 2000. I’m sure I voted for Kerry in 2004 and then it’s easier from there but I’ll say only Obama could have made me not vote for McCain. McCain was a true hero who should have been president. I wish he would have beaten Bush in the 2000 primaries. He would have been a great President. He was a great great American.

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  14. Oh the work is certainly better in the northeast. I get a fed case with 2 terrabytes of discovery and I don’t have some 40 something trumpet asking me in 35 days if I’m ready for trial or need another week to review discovery.

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