BREAKING!!
Long rumored in the comments section of the blog, where rumor is currency, and juicy rumors are like cyypto-up and down- Judge Michael Hanzman, fresh off of a remarkable handling of the Sunny Isles building collapse tragedy, has RESIGNED from the Miami Dade Circuit Court bench.
This is a loss for our judiciary and our community.
From the Hanzy & Coco radio hour, Sirius XM, earlier today.
ReplyDeleteCoco: SO you think Biden did the right thing by bailing out SVB?
Hanzy: No I told you before, he was wrong. Caveat Emptor jughead. if you're dumb enough to put your dough in a bank that has 90% of accounts exceeding the FDIC insurance limit and has a few billion dollars in unrealized losses on the books for buying fed paper during the pandemic, then a fool and his money are soon separated.
Coco: Not everyone has the foresight to stack silver bars. Have a heart.
Hanzy: What kind of smart remark is that?
Coco: Just saying, the average Jill and Joe off the street open a start-up, get two million in VC funding for -let's say- a brand new espresso maker that doesn't use k cups and create excess landfill, and they wake up last Friday morning and cannot make payroll.
Hanzy: Boo hoo hoo a Cali avocado toast eating startup can't sell their 3K espresso machine to Beverly Hills lawyers. Cry me a river.
Coco: Have a heart.
Hanzy: Have this...I'm outta here!
Coco- and we are back from the break, you know Draftkings is the way to play the March Madness tournament that we all love. And in this segment of the show Hanzy and I were going to unveil our brackets, but one of us left in a huff, so it will just have to be me, and remember where you heard it first= U of M has to get by Drake, and one of those two teams is going to make some noise in this tourny, and I also love Penn State and perennial Cinderella Gonzaga.
If Hanzy was here, I know he likes the Chalk in Kansas State and Bama. But he is gone, hopefully for just a short time. And speaking of short time, if you are in a rush, the starbucks app is a lifesaver for ordering on the way, skipping the line and getting fresh, hot or iced coffee just the way you like it. And in honor of March Madness, use the code HanzyandCoco when refilling your Starbucks app account, and they will add a Grande latte for free! And where else can you get a free coffee these days other than listening to the Hanzy and Coco radio hour.
Let's go to the phones. Kellsey in Miami.
"Hey, first time caller, long time listener, the rumor here in Miami is that Hanzy is also going to resign the bench."
Coco: Thanks for calling Kellsey, if Hanzy was here he would address that.
Margo in Alexandria, you're on the air: "GO BAMA! click.
Coco: Ok, that was margo rooting for her team. We are going to take a time out here and let me see what I can find out about Hanzy. Back in sixty seconds.
So no more Hanzy and Coco??😢😢😢
ReplyDelete1:50 genius
ReplyDeleteIs Coco going to make a statement from his Malibu pad? Does Hanzy & Coco have enough dough to never work again? Did their show get syndicated like a Judge David Young gig? Will they preside over mega trials around the various federal circuits? Oh fellas - say it ain’t so.
ReplyDeleteHanzman - off to Hollywood. Primetime. Gameshow perhaps. Maybe like a legal Jeopardy nightly show?
ReplyDeleteLast time Hanzman was out Kelly Ripa substituted for him and there seemed to be chemistry with Coco&Ripa
ReplyDeleteNo judge in the country could have steered that building collapse litigation the way Hanzy did it. He’s amazing and this is a big loss.
ReplyDeleteI heard he's joining the pro Pickleball League.
ReplyDeleteWhy the heck would he want to follow up Surfside with BS foreclosures and other nominal case disputes. Boring being a judge.
ReplyDeleteHanzy turned down a Jeopardy spot two years ago. My bet is Executive Producer for the Netflix Series FALLEN!!! The Story of the Sunny Isles Building Collapse And The Judge Who Bulldozed the Lawyers and the Law.
ReplyDeleteEd Asher would have been good for Hanzy but alas he’s dead.
Patrick Stewart. Ben Kingsley and John Malkovich have all been rumored for the role.
And Danny Devito as Coco the retired judge sidekick.
Rolf lmfao I forgot how fing funny the Hanzy and Coco stuff is. Keep it up whoever is doing this.
ReplyDeleteFallen!! A Netflix series. Yes it was a real tragedy. But what is the old formula? Comedy =tragedy + time.
Well………..bye.
ReplyDeleteDanny DeVito as Coco the sidekick Retired Judge?
ReplyDeleteDanny is much too tall. I’m thinking Peter Dinklage as Coco and Ryan Reynolds as Hanzy?
“Fallen” could be a show about nothing? “These stone crabs are making me thirsty!”
It’s gold.
I don't know if it has been mentioned, but Howie Mandel as Hanzy and Chris Rock as Coco. he needs a comeback from the b-slap. Natlie Portman as the crusading ingenue/attorney who fought for her clients recovery against the big evil insurance company lawyers (the head evil lawyer would have been a perfect role for Alan Rickman but alas he is gone) played by Hugh Grant, or Ralph Finnes, or Giancarlo Esposito, or even William Dafoe or Anthony Hopkins.
ReplyDeleteFALLEN! Get "down" with the new Netflix series.
Probably going to JAMS where the old judges are
ReplyDeleteI heard Hanzy and Coco are heading to Canada to eat poutine.
ReplyDeleteCan someone please elaborate on this Hanzy and Coco reference for someone who is not familiar with it? A step by step diagram of the joke would be great. Thank you. 🤔
ReplyDeleteI invented it by mistake. Hanzy is Hanzman. The Judge in the Chapman towers collapse. At the end of the case as he conducted the hearings in what each family received for loss of a loved one - difficult work to say the least - he brought in retired super judge Jon Colby. Search the blog for the stories on Hanzman and the case and read the comments. Making a comment one day about Hanzy and COLBY I wrote a typo COCO for Colby and didn’t see it and posted the comment. The phrase took off and within hours the (mostly fake ) adventures of Hanzy & Coco were born. TV shows. Movie deals. Book deals. Radio shows. Netflix you name it. The blog readers ran with it. It’s funny and not mean spirited unlike many of the other comments. Judge Hanzman is brilliant and a true public servant. Same for Colby. And they are apparently long time friends.
ReplyDeleteWhen serious disaster strikes … or your dumb brother in law gets a speeding ticket. Don’t go LOCO just call the law firm of Hanzy & Coco. From collapse to perhaps (I don’t love you anymore & want a divorce) Hanzy & Coco are your full service law firm. Just dial 1-800-Han-coco. Operators are standing by. But wait ! There’s more. For the first 100 people who call, you will receive our free copy of “Hanzy & Coco- from the bar to the bench and back again. “.
ReplyDeleteAnd don’t forget to check out our free Instagram account “@ampersands”.
The man exemplified intelligence, wisdom, common sense and courage. His work in criminal court was even more impressive than the great work he did in civil. There are no other Hanzmans.
ReplyDeleteA great loss for the bench. Other than the late great Ed Cowart and Wethington, Hanzman was one of the best. He even came back from a vacation to preside over a calendar call to make sure the defendants didn't get a continuance in one of my cases. Most of robed ones are judges because they couldn't hack it as a private attorney. So we get hacks and incompetent fools like APONTE who is unqualified to sit on the bench and won an election based on her last name. Hanzman cannot be replaced and will be missed.
ReplyDeleteThe REAL trial lawyers are devastated that Judge Hanzman is leaving. Who could possibly take over the Complex Business Division and come close to the elegant, brilliant and sophisticated manner in which he ran his courtroom? Which successor Judge will write Orders that read like law review articles?
ReplyDeleteGood luck to the Judge who takes over that division. That person will be critiqued and will not be well received.
It's a real shame that most of the 20-plus comments have been stupid and non-funny recaps. The loss of Judge Hanzman is just that: a serious loss to the quality of the circuit bench.
ReplyDeleteWe really need some good, intelligent, hardworking, and knowledgeable judges, and all we seem to get are political hacks and prolix ego-feeders, sometimes both. Of the many terrific lawyers I have known, almost none of them have applied for judgeships or run for the job. J Hanzman's resignation could be a wake-up call to those lawyers to actually put themselves up for appointment or commence to organize for election.
You may not think the money (about $150,000 plus fabulous benefits) is much, but instead of complaining about the low quality of the bench, how about ascending it yourselves?
Not funny???? !!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat cha talkin bout Willis??
I happen to know Hanzy & Coco loves this and text each other about the best H&C comments
APONTE will be awesome in the complex business division.
ReplyDeleteThey should name the new civil courthouse for Judge Hanzman. What he did is unprecedented and will never be repeated.
ReplyDeleteMartín Zilber should apply for the vacancy. It is such a shame he retired early. He was one of the best judges. He’d be a great Chief Judge!
ReplyDeleteHe would have been reamed by the FSC if he hadn’t.
DeleteHe’s still in Paris. Word has it that he’s planning a run against Macron.
DeleteI offer a partial dissent. I agree that Judge Hanzman is probably the best judge on the bench and kudos to him for handling the condo crash case. But was the case that extraordinary? There are judges everywhere who handle complex cases, both civil and criminal, all the time. Federal court is loaded with very very complicated cases involving antitrust, regulation, class actions, and yes, criminal cases. Judges supervise these cases brilliantly and they go unnoticed. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, a massive loss to the bench to most hard-working jurist who was honored with the Hoeveler Award.
ReplyDelete"The judge, who once was a civil trial attorney, practiced complex commercial litigation for over 25 years before being appointed to the Circuit Court by Governor Scott in 2011. He then served five years in the Dependency Division before transferring to the Civil Division in 2016. Hanzman also served as an associate judge on the 4th District Court of Appeal in 2013, 2014, and 2017. He has published many academic articles and approximately 200 opinions/orders addressing various legal issues and is a frequent lecturer/commentator on business law matters. Before his appointment to the bench, Hanzman also served as a special master in the DuPont/Benlate and tobacco mass tort cases and mediated (or served as a private judge presiding over) hundreds of complex litigation disputes."
Huge void indeed to be left behind. Not a laughing matter. Sad, really.
No other Judge, ever has written more well reasoned opinions in civil and criminal cases than judge hanzman. Not only is he a brilliant intellectual, but he was a great trial judge as well. He was not looking for a paycheck like most of our bench does(both Areces, Aponte and many many others) and he was a success in his private practice. Probably the best judge this pitiful circuit has ever seen.
ReplyDeleteNo other Judge, ever has written more well reasoned opinions in civil and criminal cases than judge hanzman. Not only is he a brilliant intellectual, but he was a great trial judge as well. He was not looking for a paycheck like most of our bench does(both Areces, Aponte and many many others) and he was a success in his private practice. Probably the best judge this pitiful circuit has ever seen.
ReplyDelete1:34 you can't get a judicial appointment unless you're young and a member of the Federalist Society. Experience is not a plus with this Governor, as shown by his latest Supreme Court appointment. Thus, you're asking experienced knowledgeable and qualified lawyers to put themselves through an election that will most likely turn on the ethnicity of their last name.
ReplyDeleteThat should answer your question.
If Hanzman had decided to run again, he’d have to call himself “Pancho” to get Re-elected
Delete1:34 is absolutely correct. Just ask Davia, an experienced and well thought of Judge who lost in an election to an incompetent fool only because of the ethnicity of the fool's last name.
ReplyDelete1:34 Add Eig and Sarduy to those looking for paychecks.
ReplyDeleteTrump will be arrested for a felony for paying a hooker 130k not unlike Clinton paid a semi hookers 850k and thereafter perjured himself about Monica in a related deposition but unlike here, no charges filed v Clinton. Someone we all pretty much liked. Meanwhile look at how the da in Manhattan has been reducing felony charges for violent criminals in New York - check out the stats. Laws are not administered fairly in New York City which was once considered a great office. Meanwhile, Bidens kid is a walking fara violation / money launderer and he is untouchable. I guess trump should have charged hillary Clinton for destroying evidence after she was served a subpoena. All of us would have been. And if trump wins in 2024 he should stop at nothing to put his enemies in jail and weaponize the doj as it appears has happened under the liberal cunts who currently hold the reigns of power.
ReplyDeleteHere is a take from a Berkeley a law professor. Since this critically acclaimed liberal law blogger won't cover the prosecution of former president trump for paying to silence a sex worker. Resist !
ReplyDeletehttps://www.foxnews.com/video/6322929827112
2:00 A.M. Judge Tunis, who had been a wonderful county judge turned sour on the circuit bench. She was vulnerable because she was nasty, overbearing, and rude, By the way Rumpole, where is your "comment moderation" when it comes to referring to a judge as "an incompetent fool" Have you heard any negative reviews of her performance/ Are you just unhappy about the change of ethnic bias by the voters? Shame on you and sham on the decision to print that improper and unprofessional comment about a sitting judge.
ReplyDeleteRumpole: Judge Hanzman would be appalled at shots being taken at other judges to praise him. He is not only brilliant, fair, wise, and sensitive, he is also the consummate professional and a very classy individual. Such a sham that our partisan bar cannot just praise a great man. His withdrawal from the bench rings back to that great scene in "To Kill a Mocking Bird," when Rev. Sykes told Atticus's daughter: "Miss Louise Jean, stand up, your father is passing." We should all stand up as Judge Hanzman removes his judicial robes and leaves his chambers for the last time. We can only hope to be half the lawyer that man is.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I keep the 10/1718 story and picture of Tony Brown and Phil Reizenstein on my desk, the young man who got his life back and the lawyer who made it happen. Apparently, a hard standard to live up to.
John "torture" Yoo....HAHAHA. UC Berkley law professor therefore he must be a liberal. LOLOLOL
ReplyDeleteI don’t understand. This is a great opportunity for Trump. If he didn’t commit this crime he will convince a jury of his peers of his innocence and increase his election chances. Why do think he’s going to lose? Do you know something everyone else doesn't?
ReplyDeleteJustice Ricky Polston resigned today.
ReplyDelete