REQUIEM FOR 2023

 We are going to try a different tack this weekend morning. We know you, our loyal readers, tune in for the relentlessly upbeat coverage of judges and the legal system. No misanthropic sad sack we, our blog posts are uniformly upbeat. We may have some troubles, but we still have the greatest legal system in the world, staffed by dedicated, brilliant, and experienced judges! 

Alas, today we take a different tack. 

Originally entitled Requiem for the Dolphins, we now post about 2023. 😢😢😢

As 2022 ended, what did you think would take more time- a flight from New York to Chicago on Southwest Airlines (motto: "sooner or latter....but usually later"), or the election of a speaker of the house?  At last check, there's still unclaimed luggage in Southwest baggage areas from December 22, and Congressman Kevin McCarthy was elected speaker of the house early Saturday morning after the 132nd vote. In order to secure the last remaining holdouts, McCarthy had to promise to pass no legislation other than bills defunding the EPA, school lunch programs, PBS and NEA.  He also had to agree to immediately resign every time Representative Matt Getz orders pizza from Dominoes. 

The first bills in the 2023 in the 666th session of Congress are 1) The Impeachment of President Joe Biden; 2)The Impeachment of the Cabinet of President Joe Biden; 3) The appointment of Representative George Santos (NY: Liar) as chair of the house ethics committee;  4) The renaming of every airport in the United States the President Donald Trump Airport; 5) The seizure of all private lands in Alaska for oil drilling; 6) and finally a resolution condemning Ukraine for "being recalcitrant". 

Meanwhile, if politics and travel were not enough to completely ruin the end of 2022 and beginning of 2023, we in South Florida witnessed the epic collapse of your Miami Dolphins. 

To recap- The Fins started the season 3-0, including wins over Buffalo and the Cheaters. They then lost three in a row as QB Tua Tungsteensteel was knocked into tomorrow with a series of vicious blows. They then won FIVE IN A ROW and were 8-3 and we used our gambling winnings to book tickets for the Super Bowl on Southwest Air (foreshadowing a disaster of course). They then LOST FIVE IN A ROW and are now a pedestrian 8-8. Due to a series of injuries, Speaker McCarthy will be starting at Quarterback this Sunday, with former Speaker Pelosi subbing as offensive coordinator.  The NY Jets are in town this Sunday, and because they have had their share of QB injuries, Joe Namath has been called out of retirement and will be facing off against the McCarthy led Fins. 

To get to the playoffs, the Dolphins need to win by more than three but less than eleven, McCarthy needs to remain speaker until the end of January, and the Lions, Toronto Maple Leafs, Steelers, Knicks and Heat need their games to end in a tie this weekend. 

And the good news?  The Dolphins are set to fly to their playoff game on....Southwest Air! 

Welcome 2023. You are off to a roaring start.