JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE

UPDATE: It's Tuesday evening and you don't know whether courts are open or not tomorrow. Well, unfortunately the Little Sharks and Mermaids Happy Casa Daycare hasn't announced anything yet. But here are some tips- 

Broward will never announce what they are doing. Making attorneys and clients drive through a storm is all part of the service the judges in Broweird provide. 

West Palm: Don't go. Just because. 

Federal Court: if you are an employee and stay home big sister will be monitoring you. You had better work. Bring your DENIED stamp home with you. 

Miami Dade: It's complicated. The simplest way to determine  ahead of time is to find your favourite judge's Zoom address, add up all the numbers and multiple them by 1351. If the number is a prime number, that court is CANCELLED. If the number is not a prime number then whether or not court is cancelled will be decided by the outcome of the election for Clerk of the Court in Cumberland County, Tennessee. If the incumbent "Bubba" wins, court is closed. If the challenger "Jethro" wins, court is open. 

It's simple when you think about it.  

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Hurricane Nicole? Could be. The storm will be impacting South Florida on Tuesday and make landfall on Wednesday. And pursuant to our reading of the executive orders of the Federal and State Courts, all decisions on whether or not to close court hinges on the decision of the "Little Sharks and Mermaids Happy Casa Day Care" in Hialeah. If they close, then the courts will close. 

Now here's the thing. The water in the Caribbean is unseasonably warm. And the republican scientists cannot figure out why. Knowing that global warming is a Democratic/Chinese hoax, no one can understand why the water is so warm. Perhaps the whole storm is a clever Democratic trick to stop Republican voters form going to the polls on Tuesday. Could be. As Senator Hirschel Walker has said, and this is an exact quote: 

"Since we don't control the air, our good air decided to float over to China's bad air, so when China gets our good air, their bad air got to move," Walker said. "So it moves over to our good air space. Then, now, we got we to clean that back up."

Now, as we are sure soon to be Georgia Senator Hirschel Walker can tell you, Nebraska Senator William Jennings Bryant gave one of the most famous speeches in American history at the Democratic National Convention in 1896- labeled the Cross of Gold Speech. Without Senator Lyndon Johson, a southerner, the 1957 Civil Rights Act would never have been enacted. Senator John Kennedy wrote Profiles In Courage in 1955.  Senator Kennedy won a Pulitzer Prize for his work. 

But all of those accomplishments pale before the insightful and intelligent analysis of a person, who modestly brags that he is not smart, paid for at least two abortions, while running against the right of a woman to chose, and whose articulation of weather patterns and pollution, is just too brilliant for deeper commentary. 

Yes, we live in an age where millions of people are going to vote for that simpleton. 

We get what we deserve. Including hurricanes in November.