SAME OLD SONG

 FACDL emails crackling today with tales of lawyers being denied access to the jail.

 Todays' two tales of woe involved 1) a lawyer who was told that although his partner had filed an NOA, even though he was a member of the firm, the rule was that only the person filing the NOA could see the client, AND NO ONE ELSE. Along those lines, the jail personnel were apparently queried about the scenario of a person in jail who wished to interview lawyers to change counsel. THAT IS NOT ALLOWED- was the alleged reply. 

And second, the forbidden land- also known as FDC Miami, the issues there are emails requesting to see a client are going unanswered. Can't you just picture the scene? Bureaucrats sitting around an office, swilling pizza and chugging soda and gleefully playing wordle while not allowing lawyers into the forbidden land. 

"Hey Al- that lawyer who sent two emails yesterday sent another two today. I bet we can get him to send two a day for week. Loser buys a weeks' worth of whoppers. Is it a bet?" 

About a dozen years from now, we can almost see two lawyers walking by FDC. One old. One new. The old one says "You're not going to believe this, but up until 2019 I could walk in there anytime I wanted and see a client in about a half an hour."

The new lawyer gasps in shock. Recovering, she says "That was before Chief Justice Alito wrote the opinion holding the sixth amendment unconstitutional." 

The old lawyer says "Yup. Before that case, no one thought the bill of rights could actually be unconstitutional. But after the Dear leader, president for life Trump made Sam Alito the chief judge and fired Roberts, most of the constitution- other than the second amendment of course- has been held unconstitutional." 

    "We find that the inclusion of certain "rights" in the amendments to the constitution were not rights, but merely compromises of the time based on outmoded political issues. Other than what is recognized as an American's God-given right to carry a gun, none of those so-called rights are anything more than a minority view of long discarded beliefs as to what constitutes freedom. It is therefore the unanimous opinion of this court, with our brother justice Guliani concurring, that amendments 1 and 3-14 are UNCONSTITUTIONAL, with a double secret unconstitutional ruling for amendments 1, 4,5 6, and 14. See In Re Animal House for an explanation of "double secret."