ZOOM DOOM

 There is a Zoom crisis brewing and we, as members of the defense bar are part of the problem and not the solution.  To be frank we are dropping the ball on Zoom and could lose it and it would our fault. The fault dear Brutus lies not in the stars but in our zoom-selves, or words to that effect, 

Clients are zooming in from bed; clients are on zoom with no shirt on (presumably male clients since there is no national media story about a half-naked woman in Miami appearing in court); clients are on zoom enjoying repasts and imbibing all sorts of drinks; clients are on zoom using illegal substances. 

Meanwhile lawyers are appearing on Zoom in casual T-shirts; from pool cabanas; from the side of the road on their phone with 18 wheelers rumbling by; on the golf course from a golf cart; on a boat cruising Biscayne Bay. 

In short, we as lawyers are not treating zoom hearings seriously and we have a responsibility to get our clients in line, which we are not doing. We rant on these widely read blog pages about Judges ending Zoom not understanding the benefits Zoom brings to a legal practice. But in meetings, the Judges zoom back, pointing to the type of behavior and dress that would make Russ Meyer shake his head in disgust. *

Your FACDL representatives are out there fighting for your zoom. But they cannot win the day when judges point out multiple instances of clients acting like...clients...and lawyers acting and dressing like tourists trying to bribe their way into Club Space on a Saturday night. 

The 20th judicial circuit has some well thought out Zoom guidelines. It's almost enough to put them on the map (because we have no idea where the 20th is). 

Please review these guidelines. Go shine your shoes. Put away the Nike golf shirt and Bermuda shorts and Cleveland Guardians Baseball cap (what a ridiculous name for a baseball team) and put on a jacket and shirt and tie or a blouse and jacket ( and do not drag us down the road as to who should be wearing what- this whole gender pronoun business is not for us- we are too old to want to know and care about it). 

Remember. Like a driver's license, Zoom is a privilege. 

Virtual Courtroom Decorum 20th by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

 

*Russ Meyer was a 1970s notorious soft pornography producer who produced films with titles like Valley of the Super Vixens and featured women with very notable and prominent...ummm....hmmmm how to say this? ....frontal features is the best we can come up with.