NEW COURT ASSIGNMENTS

 Well let's see. We've had our abortion debate. We made fun of the FACDL Listserv woops....verboten to mention that...the F Word... how about some meat and potatoes...woops this is Miami....some Picadillo and Maduros on the old grey lady -the REGJB. The              ol' summer judicial rotation is here and it's darn official.

Add the honorific "The Honorable" to every name...it's an anathema to us to do it....

Milton Hirsch takes over Division 12  formerly Ramiro Areces. Courtroom 7-4 and appropriately, chambers 713, which is a magical number in baseball. 

Areces receives in the trade a new couch and a hotshot setting clerk. 

Areces goes to Division 70, commonly known as ROC court, an appellation sure to catch the attention of Magistrate Goodman, but alas, ROC stands for "Repeat Offender Court" and has nothing to do with the Grateful Dead or the Rolling Stones or rock-n-roll;                    but sentencings do tend to evoke the lyrics "What a long strange trip it has been." 

Areces remains in courtroom 2-4 and chambers 212, which as most Miamians know, is the OG NYC area code for a 100 years until they needed 718. 

When the music stops in musical chairs, there is always someone who has to leave the playing field, In this case it is Joe Fernandez, who is shipping out to Probate, the judicial equivalent of leaving the Yankees for a stint at AAA Buffalo Bisons. We have no information on chambers and courtrooms for probate because we have no information on where probate is. And as to the courtrooms, not to make a bad pun, but it's not as if there are clients who can show up. Do they have courtrooms in probate? Do they have trials? Do motions mention executrixes these days? 

NB: Judge Areces is taking some time off, so for now you have Judge Laura Sheron- Cruz pinch hitting. And if you want confusion, then look at the Sheron-Cruz-Altfield sharing of drug court and a division. Actually the rules are pretty simple- Clients who names begin with A-F merely have to count the letters in their name and then the logarithm of that number, if it is an equal number, the case is sent to Altfield, unless the month ends in R and then it is sent to Cruz. If the number is odd, but not a prime number, then the case is sent to Cruz, unless the infield fly rule is in effect with less than two outs and runners on base. For drug court it is simply the opposite. Clients who names begin with G-Z are simply required to show up in drug court where they will be given further instructions. 

So there you have it. Your much anticipated, long awaited, rumor inducing, Viagra taking, E....Street....Band.....2022 summer REGJB judicial rotations.