WE'RE BACK

 Florida is back baby! Yup, once again numero uno in the nation in new covid cases.  So let's go over the numbers as per the CDC: 

21,683 new cases Friday. WE"RE #1! (previous high was 19,334 on January 7). 

Average of 15,818 new cases a day last week. WE'RE #1!

409 covid deaths last week. WE'RE #1!

70,000 new cases a day in the US last week, and Florida, one state out of fifty is responsible for more than 20% or those. 

COME TO FLORIDA =SEE IT AS A NATIVE!

When the CDC recently recommended that all children returning to the school in the fall wear masks, Governor De No Science Santis IMMEDIATELY signed an executive order preventing school districts requiring school children to wear masks. Because if Covid is killing (which it is again) and the pandemic is raging (ditto) then science sucks in Florida! 

"No scientist is going to tell me what to put in mah arm and that makh kid should wear no damn mask to school" is what Mr. and Mrs. Yahoo in Two Egg Florida say to each other as they pull into the Piggly Wiggly to buy chips and beer for breakfast. "What do they all knows anyhow?"

Well, true, the immunological experts  did not stop at a HS equivalency degree. And true, they don't work three gig jobs and load boxes for Amazon. Just ten years of schooling and ten years of post grad work in virology, but why should anyone listen to someone who has spent a life time studying a subject?

We first identified this phenomenon when POTUS 45 was President-elect. He was at a rally somewhere in the middle of the country and he had just decided to nominate James Mattis as his secretary of defense, mostly because he liked the nickname "Mad-Dog." Now, outside of Rumpole and the military establishment, no one really knew that James Mattis was an aesthetic monk-warrior, who spent his life time committed to the military and lived a simple lifestyle surrounded by books. 

Yet when POTUS 45 announced to the crowd he was picking "Mad-Dog Mattis" as the new secretary of defense, they paused for a moment, because not one damn one of them knew who he was, but then someone started yelling and clapping and then more and more and soon the crowd was screaming  in ecstasy over someone they had never heard of, but because the President Elect thought he would shake things up, they were going to scream in joy.  Because people are reveling in their ignorance and they want to be led. Angry at only being smart enough to obtain a minimum wage job, they are some how forming a belief that intellectuals caused their problems. So, when an ignorant anti-intellectual becomes their leader, they buy into the anti-expert tirades. 

There is a certain unexplainable joy dumb people have in being told to disbelieve their eyes and that the experts do not know anything. 

Covid spreads almost entirely through respiration. SO DO NOT WEAR MASKS!

A covid vaccine is 95% effective in stopping infections, and almost 100% effective in stopping serious side-effects from infections. SO DO NOT GET THE VACCINE (cue the unwashed masses in Florida cheering for their governor.)

Now here is the thing about No Science De Santis and we told you first- he is 100% running for president regardless of what POTUS 45 does. And he has POTUS 45's playbook. If an expert says to do this, he says do not do it! If common sense tells you to wear a mask, do not do it. You are an American. You have a god-given right to not listen to experts. 

When your appendix bursts- go to the gas station not the ER. Who says a surgeon is best qualified to remove a burst appendix? Only experts and we know not to believe them.

When you get in an airplane, ask a passenger to fly it NOT the pilot.  Who says a pilot can fly a plane better than anyone. They crash all the time, right? 

Why should teachers teach from history books? The South did NOT lose the civil war. Fake news. 

And on and on and on, with appeals to conspiracy theories like 5G causes cancer and covid, and that the people who attacked the capitol on January 6 "were regular tourists" (this was actually said by a Republican Congressman in Congress last week). 

So. Do Not Wear a Mask. DO NOT get vaccinated. Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars, but come to Florida, the land of ignorance. Get Covid (just a small cold) and go to a freaking 7-11 when you get sick and ask the counter person to treat you. 

Then drop dead.  Good riddance.