Sunday, September 01, 2019


UPDATE #3. Dorian has edged north of West Palm, but remains spinning mostly in place just off-shore. Courts remained closed Tuesday, and will reopen Wednesday assuming it doesn't spin back on itself. 
This was Ivan in 2004:

UPDATE#2  First. The storm has slowed down, but it has not yet turned. Like waiting for a judge at an 8am calendar who is late- everyone is watching the clock. 
Second. An unnamed altruist wants us to publish the Court Emergency Number: 305-349-7777. In the future, when the danger is past, the number is useful for a host of reasons. "Hello. Emergency Operations? I'm waiting on a jury on the fourth floor of REGJB, and the M&M's are stuck in the vending machine. Please send help." 

UPDATE: Schools closed in Dade and Broward and West Palm for TUESDAY. Dade and Broward have announced COURTS ARE CLOSED TUESDAY. The SDFL website says they tie the closure of courts to the closure of schools. With WPB, Dade and Broward schools cerrado, federal court is also closed Tuesday. 

Hello this is Rumpole. I have put aside for the moment the arrogant, royal persona that our readers find so maddening yet endearing. The "smarter than you" posts and comments , although we are in fact smarter than 99.9% of you (no one said this was going to be easy). 

Hurricane Dorian is a massive, dangerous storm. Hurricanes are very unpredictable. If you Google hurricane paths, you will see storms stopping and doubling back on themselves. Hurricanes wobble as they approach land and they can veer fifty miles north or south in the blink of an eye-wall. 

Because of our anxiety, there is a natural fixation on the hurricane paths and cones, and relief when the cone shifts so that we appear to be out of danger. Make no mistake that until this storm dissipates, we in South Florida are not out of danger, cone or no cone. 

The email from Broward County announcing that court will open on Tuesday was complete folly. The storm has slowed, and by Tuesday, at best, 50-100 mile winds could well be hitting Ft. Lauderdale. Not exactly the type of weather lawyers and clients should be out in. We are hopeful they will rescind that order. But being Broward, they are as unpredictable as hurricanes. 

Many of us can still vividly remember the feelings of being huddled in a closet and watching our roof fly away as Andrew slammed into South Dade. And recall that days before Andrew hit, it was predicted to strike North Broward. 

So please, listen to us. Continue your preparation. Put up your shutters, or take your family and leave for a few days. Have water and some dry food and candles and a battery operated radio ready to go, 
We want Dorian to miss us. We see the cone shift and we immediately relax. But last night (Saturday-Sunday) the cone shifted south again. In the last three days the south end of the cone has gone from covering  the middle keys to being on the Dade Broward border. 

We are not in the clear and we will not know for sure until the storm misses us and dissipates. 
Until then, please stay safe. 
We like having a lot of readers. 

Your obt.  svt. 
H. Rumpole, Esq. Blog Proprietor. 


  1. Rump, I like the 11pm update, especially when given by the hot Latinas on Channel 7. Second choice the 5 am update, same station. Biggest let down- the 11 am and 1 pm updates. Never say much and the weather babes during the day are so-so.

  2. Just so you all know - our Zegna Sport boutique at the Bal Harbour Shoppes will be open everyday throughout Hurricane Dorian. We will be the haberdashery there for all of your needs. We are proud to say that our Countrywalk location remained open - and extremely busy - when Hurricane Andrew skirted our venue.

    Please check out the Houndstooth sport jacket paired with the black polyester blend Sansa-Belts men’s slacks. Perfect for the drizzle expected for next Tuesday’s Business Court division hearing. Yes?

    Or are you a Fall Camel’s Hair Beige Sport jacket kind of trial lawyer?

    Sir Kenneth? Please weigh in. Always a suit for court - or are rules relaxed for a special set hearing during a Category 5?

  3. Blah blah blah. Who wants to go fishing Monday ? Black fin tuna running. I have a charter. Plenty of cold beer

  4. Weisman is in Europe you idiot.

  5. Rumpole new PD here. Won’t say if state or fed. My condo is buttoned up tight. I have a genne. Went to my Pilates and yoga this morning and then did a five mile run. Here’s the problem. Broke up with my BF in July. My cat is freaked out and in a bad mood. I’m binge watching Netflix. And I’m eating my hurricane snacks. I have my tequila set for tonight but it’s too early to start. So I’m just munching my slary-sweet snacks. I had a kale smoothie after my run. But the pretzels and M&Ms are ruining my diet. Please help. Suggestions ?

  6. Wait one second. SIR KENNETH is in Europe? I’m presuming it’s Switzerland? How the hell can he be involved in the football pool if he is not a U.S. citizen anymore? Please Rumpole. There must be rules. PS. These pretzels are making me thirsty.


  8. Here's something that will make your skin crawl as it did mine. I'm sitting at a bar at a nice steakhouse eating my dinner last night and some creepy old man late 40-50's comes over and start trying to pick me up by talking to me about "pulsating eye walls" of a hurricane, as if such talk will make me hot for him and his ugly toupee. So I used my best line "If I buy you a beer will you go sit somewhere else?" and he slinked away.
    What is it about hurricanes that makes people go crazy? As if I would even talk to someone at a bar 20 years older than more. Sheesh.

  9. Forget about Weisman, Where is Shumie and The Ren (a venue) when this community needs them?
    Times of trouble require good food good drink and a good cigar.

  10. You can have all the REN you want in Brussels or Dubai or Seoul. 40,000 sq feet of fresh salmon sliders and Kobe brisket. But it’s all corporate ever since they sold out. None of the home town touches when chef Juanky was running the kitchen. The last minute huckleberry donuts he would make at 2am for the regulars or the coconut rum smuggled in from Cuba used in his rum cake. That’s gone forever.

  11. Rump, "West Palm Beach is not a county. Its Palm Beach County. West Palm Beach is best known as a service town for the Palm Beach City elite. Get to know your counties in Florida. Other than this slip Keep up the good work.

  12. Listen. I’m sitting in my Law Office in Marsh Harbor, Bahamas. Cut this BS about Sir Kenny W and Shumie

    I want more Zilber. Please. I don’t have much time with this Dorian looming.

  13. Hey RUMPOLE.

    Your opinion. Should AR15 and other high capacity firearms be banned?

    What is YOUR solution to these mass shootings?

    We respect your opinion.

  14. Dude. Surfs up!! Shumie time

  15. The second amendment right to bare arms covers only the right to wear short sleeve shirts. Duh.

    Gun violence is a national epidemic. We need to ban high capacity rifles and clips. And strictly regulate the sales of firearms. This is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

  16. Guns don't kill people... People with guns kill people.

    So we have two choices. Ban people or ban guns.

    Hmm... as much as choice one is tempting with all the yahoos in this country, choice two is the way to go.

  17. Here in Kenosha, Wisconsin, we are enjoying a spectacular labor day. Plus my chain of Chik-n-Cow is open, selling the juiciest hamburgers, spicy fried chicken burgers with spicy pickle sauce, and our famous hand-cut, Cow-fries (fried in rendered beef).
    Come to an old fashioned American hangout. Sip a frosty mug of root beer, treat yourself to a scoop of vanilla added in, have lunch, have dinner, and forget about your hurricane troubles.

    And you all laughed when I resigned the bench to run this amazing franchise.

  18. Rump my Yoga studio was open this morning! Yea! I love these guys.
    Still bunkered down, but didn't eat my snacks yesterday afternoon. Had some veggie noodles and a small salmon filet for dinner. Yum. Back to work Wednesday? I have cases to try!

    New PD

  19. Rump, bloody marys to start today. When can I switch to old fashions?

  20. This storm is moving at a snail's pace, but that still means it will be getting closer and closer to our coast by tomorrow morning and Wednesday. Lots of rain, and more and more wind. Neither schools nor courts should be open Wednesday with the storm right on top of us. Is anybody listening? We should be allowed to remain safe in our homes.

  21. Lets get one thing straight. The first idiot who posts a picture on social media of a lawn chair tipped over with the caption "Hurricane Dorian. We will rebuild" will be loudly mocked by me if their post is sent to me (I don't know how to use social media).

  22. 4pm rump. Binge watching Mad Men. Sipping old fashions. Maybe I’ll even start smoking.

  23. Rumo, is it safe to return? On Thursday I grabbed my crew and a few wayward waifs from sobe and decamped to the Mandarin in Manhattan where we have a couple of suits courtesy of my Dad who runs a successful Calif venture fund. Nuff said on money stuff.
    New atty learning the litigation ropes for a few years before I return to California.
    But my milieu are not tapboms and boarding windows and pouring fuel into generators. I'm much more at home at Tom Ford on Madison ave, at which I scored a few nice pickups this weekend.
    I hear courts are open Wednesday but I do not want to fly back into a storm or even its remnants. So tonight its L'Accolade and tomorrow Le Jardinier. We can take the plane back around 11 after dinner or anytime we want. I want to stay and return Wednesday but there is grist for the mill and if the factory we call the courthouse is open, I'm and exceedingly small cog but I guess I need to be there.

    PS- I'm sure only you will get the literary reference to my name without this prompt.

  24. Bob Ewell? What? From To Kill a Mockingbird? Love that guy.

  25. Hey funny people. A bunch of people are dead and thousand are suffering and you think this is funny? Really? I don't. I have a close friend in Marsh Harbour. I am very concerned about him right now. NOT FUNNY!!!!

  26. Sorry for your friend. 8:57. Your concern makes you a VICTIM of the Hurricane. Take the rest of the week off bubula. Get some therapy. PTSD. I bet some of your best friends are Bahamian.
    Meanwhile yes I'm in NYC. But our family firm just wired 2 million to a Bahamian relief fund. We've chartered a plane in Miami. Loading it up with generators and water and freeze dried food (hard to fly fuel without a ton of permits).

    But that's us. You're the one who suffered in your AC'd Miami home, fretting about your friend in Marsh Harbor. I hope Ovalle does a story about your tragedy. You could be the face of this tragedy.

    Anyway, going to fly home after dinner tonight to be in court tomorrow. Lord forbid the disorderly conduct trials are called without adequate counsel.
    Going to NYC? Here's a tip- Newark Airport. Half hour a away from the city. LaGuardia is a bear and JFK? Puhleeze.

  27. Pardon me Bob Ewell - Newark Airport? The landing fee for private jets there is enormous. Fly in and out of Teterboro in Bergen County. The Black Suburban picks you up there and 25 minutes into the City. By the way, The Peninsula Hotel is not even close to what it once was. The Surrey. The Lowell. The Mark. That’s it.

  28. Is Jeffrey Feiler the go to lawyer on marijuana issues now that it is legalized?

  29. I had drinks and dinner at the Mark last month. Very high class, I would recommend it highly if you can afford it.