HOW WERE YOU TRAINED?

In keeping with our Fall theme, and changes, we received several emails forwarding us an email from our State Attorney talking about the "intensive six week training session" for a record 57 new assistant state attorneys. 
We imagine hypotheticals like this being bandied about:
"Judge Ds calendar starts at 9 but she never takes the bench until 9:30. 
Judge U's calendar starts at 9:30 and she is on time. 
Judge M's calendar starts at 9:30 and he is late about half the time.
Judge B's calendar starts at 9 and he takes the bench at 8:55. 

Question: "You are in trial seeking ten years on a possession of cocaine case against a first offender because it's fun to do. In what order do you go to the courtrooms and what do you tell the Judges about your current trial before Judge Y?"

OR

Police Officer T hit the defendant in the head with his flashlight before arresting him for battery on a police officer. 
Police Officer H claims the defendant hurt his head by repeatedly slamming it against the jail cell door.
Police Officer U claims the defendant slipped down the flight of stairs twice which is why his foot was broken during the arrest.
Police Officer G claims the defendant committed battery on a police officer by scratching the officer with a potato chip, which required the officer to use mace and a choke-hold to subdue a violent offender for his own safety and the safety of the community. 

Describe with particularity which defendant you file enhancements on and why.

Training for PDs and ASAs was not always this complete and intensive. Let's hear from the old guys and gals about how y'all did it in the old days. The days when you were hired on a Friday and showed up Monday with fifty files on your desk. Days before Starbucks, and cell phones and computers, when you shepardized cases in the SAO library on 9 and  asked Richard Shiffrin for some advice. 
Days when a new PD walked into Snyder's division and he snarled he was taking all your clients into custody at arraignment. 

Days when Roy Black and Jack Denaro were taking off their socks and putting them on their clients hands and demanding the state seek a search warrant before getting their prints. (Wasn't Professor HT Smith their intern at the time?) 
The good old days.
Have at it.