Monday, April 01, 2019

JUDGES TO FORM UNION

They work in courthouses new and old. Courtrooms with technology and courtrooms in asbestos infested buildings where pillars obstruct the view of the litigants. They do not receive any specific amount of vacation days and their pay is set by a legislature that values them so little that they continually pass laws that restrict their discretion. 

They are vilified in the media as "liberal" and criticized for legislating. The president attacked one of their brethren a year ago for having a Mexican heritage. 

They sit in court for long hours, listening to bad lawyers who earn so many multiples of their salary that it makes them ill. 

They are attacked on blogs  (or at least this blog) for being self-righteous and pompous and incompetent,  and the rules of their profession require them to suffer in silence. 

Every six years they must go hat in hand to the very lawyers who disparage them, asking for campaign contributions so they can fend off other incompetent challengers who have a more politically appealing name. 

They are the Judges of Florida, and they have had enough. 

They are forming a union for better work hours; better working conditions; better pay; and to be treated with some respect. They are -they claim- no different than the man or woman hauling their lunch pail into the factory every morning for a decade, only to see their job sent to another country and to workers who will do their job for half their pay. 

Did you know a Judge MUST wear a black robe WITHOUT any adornments? 
"If Ruth Bader Ginsberg can wear a lace collar, why can't I?" lamented one female judge who requested anonymity. 

"Do you know what it's like to see former assistant PDs who couldn't try a case to save their life a year ago now driving the newest Porsche?" said another Judge. 

Some of their complaints include lawyers who file hundred page boiler plate motions to compel. "If they had to pay five bucks a page for a motion to compel, and I got to keep the money, that would be nice" said another Judge. 

"Our chambers are an embarrassment" said one judge. "You can fit five of our chambers into one federal magistrate's chambers- and they can't even do criminal jury trials" huffed another judge. 

You want to come to court? Starting April 1- Look for the Union Label. 
Enjoy your day. 
Coming to tomorrow: The Prosecutor of the year disparages defendants and liberal judges who ignore victims. 







8 comments:

  1. Funny. This is how April Fool's Day always goes.

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  2. If these Judges, many of whom have never tried a case, are so unhappy they should go out into the private sector and try to earn money, pay a secretary and pay rent.

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  3. 4/1/19
    I suspect no comments will be published until 4/2/19.

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  4. This is just fucking outrageous. The nerve!

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  5. Florida judges are forming a union? Sure they are. Happy April Fools' Day, Rumpole. Nice try.

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  6. Judge Alan Schwartz has faked his death and is back on the bench.

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  7. And I want my ass kissed as much as the federal judges, dammit!

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  8. Kathy Rundle resigned and DeSantis is appointing Carlos Martinez to fill the vacancy.

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