DIARY OF A MAD PRESIDENT MISSILE ATTACK EDITION

Dear Diary, 
So many countries to blow-up...so little time.

I just discovered something amazing this week. All I have to do to blow something or someone up is ask! I mention a missile attack, and WHAMO! a whole bunch of men and women scramble into action and soon they are showing me these neat pictures from satellites about the stuff I can blow-up and then all I have to do is say "blow em up General" and a few minutes later, they're gone! Where were these people when I was fighting with Ed Koch in New York? Not to mention Rosie O'Donnell and all those women claiming I groped them. Ah, well, timing is everything. 

Met the chinese guy this week. Xi, or Che or something like that. He flew to meet me in West Palm. Had dinner. Served him an American steak. My grandkids sang him a song in chinese. Cute kids. Sally or Susie or something other name like that. 

Bannon and my daughter's husband are fighting. Jared or Jarrod or something thing like that. I told them "hey guys, cut that out!" Then just before they met, I sent Bannon a note: "that little shit is talking behind your back." Then I sent Jerry a note "That fat Bannon says you're a liberal." Then I sat back and watched the fireworks. This is some much fun.

I'm send Rexie to Russia. Give Putin hell, I told him. Then I called Vlad and said "Rex is a pain in the ass, straighten him out for me will ya pal?" 
Now I'm going to watch the fireworks this week. 

Next week I get Paul Ryan and the Vice President, Mike or Matt Penny or something like that fighting. This is fun. I love being the bestest President ever. Also, gonna fix health care. Told Ryan the conservatives were out to get him. Told the conservatives to help me remove Ryan. This is just the best job ever.  Before I go to Israel I'm going to get the President fighting with the Pope. That will be real fun. 
Until then diary, if it's Sunday then I have to watch Meet the Press and make fun of Chuck Bob, or Todd or Hodd, or something like that. 

DJT.