Thursday, November 26, 2015

WHY WE DISLIKE THANKSGIVING

Facebook killer found guilty of second degree murder. 
The defense did an admirable job in the face of very difficult evidence. Second degree was probably the best they could expect. And in Florida's messed up (we wanted to use a curse work) criminal justice system, the defendant can be sentenced to the same sentence as first degree murder. Which means, while the law recognizes a difference in why people kill, Florida says lock them all away for life. 
Coming soon: life for manslaughter and culpable negligence. 

Things we don’t like about Thanksgiving.
An overload of emails from vendors promising 98% off that supply of hand sanitizer we’ve been putting off getting.
Pressure of the Holidays.

Emails from clients long past, lawyers we never see, all compelled to wish us a happy thanksgiving.
Ditto text messages.
“How was your Thanksgiving?
Lousy. That client we represented in 1998 for Petit Theft? He never wished us a happy holiday.
But your local counsel in Sarasota on that drugs case in 2003 did text.
True. But still…”

Almost the entire Washington Post this week has been devoted to three things: Thanksgiving recipes and how to carve the turkey, getting us in the holiday spirit…. And bombing Isis and Donald Trump. 
And that means less coverage than Trump than usual and that’s disappointing.

Starbucks closes at six.

Monday in the REGJB sucks after court being closed for two straight says.
Some judges may work until 2.

We just got an email breathlessly announcing a sale on pens. And tide detergent. But only until six. Limit two per customer.

Certain obnoxious relatives who loudly announce “Can’t we try a thanksgiving with the TV off and no football?”

Every family has one. Move to China. Or France. Or Syria. No football or TV there. Otherwise shut-up and eat your vegan turfurky and look smug. 

Pass the gristle please.

9 comments:

  1. Stay home. Eat plenty of stuffing and potatoes and gravy and bread and pie and cake. And tomorrow start your low car diet at The Ren. Grilled grass fed Bison steaks. Kobe beef meatballs on carb free, gluten free noodles. Wild caught salmon grilled in a mustard sauce, and our always fresh Florida lobster tails, grilled or steamed-your choice. Hit the stores, then refuel at our Venue.
    Happy Turkey Day blog readers and customers.

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  2. Feaking hate this day and this stupid holiday. I'm with you all the way Rumpole.

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  3. dont like any of manmade holidays.

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  4. While you all were feeding your faces with potatoes and bread and stuffing and gravy and pie and cake and soda (but diet soda for most of you because hey, you're watching your weight, right?) I ran a 10k. Now some vegetable consume and some white turkey meat.
    But eat up. It's your duty as Americans to stuff yourself silly today. Otherwise you won't be patriotic. Don't forget apple pie with ice cream and Cheddar Cheese. Diabetes can wait another day. And there's always the scooter to get you around, and a cup holder for diet soda makes it real convenient.

    You all make me sick.

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  5. Rump- in Vegas. Sent you an email. You told me to parlay Lions and Panthers. Did it for a 2500 hundree. My hot GF and I are going to have a bunch to spend this weekend because of you- 6500 to be exact. Thanks pal.

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  6. "Manmade holidays "????

    You mean , as opposed to the ones created by God?

    Dumbass

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  7. Apple pie with cheddar cheese...yuuummmyy! We though of that too late this year; had already used all the cheddar in the baked mac n cheese.

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