AHEM…..by INVITATION only. (If you're indicted, you're invited.)
Item: The new judicial assignments for 2015 are out.
Scene: A criminal defense law firm. A few lawyers sitting around the table dividing cases and coverage for Monday.
Dramatis Persona: Attorneys
Judges: Hirsch, Hersch, Schwartz, Schwartz, Swartz, Thomas, Thomas,
Attorney Thomas: Whose's covering Hirsch?
Attorney Schwartz: I got Hirsch but not Hersch.
Thomas: You got Hirsch?
Schwartz: Sure.
Thomas: But not Hersch?
Schwartz: Right.
Thomas: That's what I am asking you. You have Hirsch?
Schwartz: Yes.
Thomas: Who's got Schwartz?
Schwartz: I got Schwartz, but not Swartz.
Thomas: What?
Schwartz: And you got Thomas and Hersch and Schwartz.
Thomas: Wait.
Schwartz. It's easy.
Thomas. So you have Hirsch, but not Hersch. Schwartz but not Swartz, and Thomas but not Thomas.
Schwartz. Exactly.
Thomas. I don't even know what I just said!!
Schwartz: It's really not complicated.
Thomas. Take it slow.
Schwartz. I got Hirsch. You should take Hersch. I got Schwartz and you can cover Swartz. And you go to Thomas and I go to Thomas.
Thomas: Aye Dios Mio.
Schwartz: Huh? Did you say De La O? That case got continued.
Unfortunately most PDs will be boycotting the Holiday party
ReplyDeleteWell here we are Rumpole, approaching the eve of the great american gluttony holiday. The holiday when it is appropriate to eat so much you have to unbutton your pants, which are probably four sizes too big already for a healthy adult.
ReplyDeleteI have written much lately. I was detailed to London, where I was making frequent trips to Seoul, Tokyo, and Beijing, for M&A'S which are being fueled by China. As I write this I am in Sydney, because the Chinese just came through here and dropped several billion dollars in trade agreements and our lawyers are picking up the crumbs.
Fascinating thing about Asians, especially the Japanese. They adore food and have many rituals about serving and eating food and their portions are small and healthy and very rarely do you see an obese adult in Tokyo or Beijing,
But in a few days Americans will, with religious fervor, eat turkey and ham and stuffing and potatoes and gravy and sugary cranberries and rolls and bread and butter and some green beans smoothed in creamed mushroom sauce (to be healthy) and drink gallons of diet coke (so as to help lose some weight) and then have pecan pie an and apple pie and some ice cream on the pies and then unbutton their pants and stagger to the couch to watch Neanderthals bash each other into early dementia.
And this is the way we give Thanks?
Pardon me if I throw a bit of ice water on this party of excess and say that we're doomed.
Happy Thanksgiving Rumpole. I don't miss Miami or the US one bit.
AG
I miss you Angry Girl.
ReplyDeleteF off jerk.
ReplyDeleteI thought angry Girl was Phil?
ReplyDeleteDo you have link to a complete list of the reassignments?
ReplyDeleteI'm sitting here with my knucklehead fiancee and I need you to straighten him out Rumpole, When the defense is in standard cover two, and the offense shifts into the zone read option, Mr. Football thinks that the best way for the defense to respond is for the safety to drop down and the corner backs to spread out into a tight quarters zone, WHat a doofus, The clear response for the defense is for the Mike linebacker to designate either the Will or Sam linebacker to cover the quarterback. Whichever backer does that, the safety on that side drops down to cover the cornerback and the cornerback moves into the position of the linebacker designated by the Mike linebacker. DUH. right Rumpole?
ReplyDeleteThe Q has been with the Missouri Governor since yesterday providing valuable legal advice about the Ferguson indictment/non-indictment
ReplyDeleteThe Bailiff in the Ferguson courtroom is none other than old Bob Halloran , who worked down here 25 years before retiring.
ReplyDeletePD Holiday Party has sucked BIG TIME since Carlitos took office.
ReplyDeleteGreen lights on the food, need I say more??
Where can I see the new judicial assignments?
ReplyDeleteAG,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the rest of the world is so much better - don't bother coming back.
And duh, everyone knows diet coke doesn't help you lose weight... it just means you have extra calories available to fill up on more of the marshmallow covered yams.
What division is JUDGE MARTIN ZILBER going to? He has made clear that he wants to dedicate his judicial legacy to helping make the dependency division of the Juvenile Court work the way it should. JUDGE ZILBER is going to be the first judge who writes intelligent Orders defining the rights of these poor children. Finally change is coming by a committed Judge who gave up a very lucrative legal career to devote his life to those in need. Kudos Judge Zilber.
ReplyDelete