WON: The Legal Eagle closing argument contest. By Warren Zinn of Shohat, Loewy & Shohat.
The final four included three criminal law practitioners: PD Matthew McElligot, ASA Scott Holtz, and Mr. Zinn. Zinn and Holtz squared off in the finals and Zinn prevailed. The crowd erupted in a spontaneous round of "Werewolves of London" (oh, wait- that's Warren Zevon- never mind). The initial details of the competition were announced by Legal Services of Greater Miami here.
We promised the winner fame if not fortune. So Warren Zinn take a bow. You are a Legal Eagle. You're an award winning closer. You get coffee.
Note to Mr. Zinn- your firm's web presence is woeful. A Google inquiry yields results for Bierman, Shohat & Loewy.
FOUND!!??
It's chunky, if not hefty. The largest of its playmates and cohorts. Its shy. In fact its never been officially seen. But without it, nothing fits and no explanation of everything works.
What is this never seen yet rather large enigma?
The Higgs Boson Particle of course, and French physicists at CERN may have found the building block of the universe. Although it weighs 125 billon electron volts- which is small but large for a particle- our universe would not be the same without HBP. Without the Higgs field there wouldn't be atoms, life, or ring dings. A dark existence indeed.
GONE.
Sheriff Andy Taylor nee Matlock- a/k/a Andy Griffith passed away July 3.
Do yourself a favour and rent or download "A Face In The Crowd", Elia Kazan's 1958 masterpiece about a drifter who becomes a not too likable star. The film shows the wide acting range of Mr. Griffith who otherwise was known for playing the persona of a lovable bumpkin who was smarter than he seemed. Andy Griffith long ago became part of "Americana" and his passing on the day before July 4th seems to be kismet.
BANNED.
Foie Gras. In California. The practice of force feeding ducks to enlarge their liver is barbaric and California banned the possession, sale or consumption of Foie Gras.
"This is the City- Los Angeles. 12 million people. They like to eat dinner. 'You! At the table. Put down the Pinot Noir. Put your hands in the air and step away from the Foie Gras.' I'm a cop. I arrest people who eat duck livers. It's my job."
We haven't eaten foie gras in many years. We miss it. But we don't eat it.
ARRESTED:
Three Homestead Police Officers for beating up three men in separate incidents. One victim was elderly. The PBA fought back accusing State Attorney Kathy Rundle of playing politics with an upcoming election. The Herald report is here.
Rumpole wonders: Police officers? Beating people up? Police officers? In Miami? Beating up people they are paid to serve and protect? Huh?
Rump
ReplyDeleteAlways thought it was Goose Liver not Duck. Try chicken liver patee but fry it in schmalz.
DS
Finally! The process of fattening a duck for foi gras is as you stated, completely barbaric.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad this is getting some press.
I'm not a hypocrite, I know many of the processes used in food production are ugly. But this is just horrible and unnecessary.
On the topic of Warren Zinn- congratulations to him. He is a good lawyer and couldn't be a nicer guy.
I've seen the force feeding. Its not as bad as you'd think.
ReplyDeletePBA union President John Rivera always says cop were wrongfully charged and once a plea is worked out or once a jury convicts he shuts up.
ReplyDeleteHe is the biggest thug in Miami and thank God he is not in control over the SAO.
Zimmerman bond is now one million.
ReplyDeleteHey George, that's what you get for bullshitting a judge.
Scott "I Gave Jimmy DeMiles His First Loss" Holtz was robbed!
ReplyDeleteTHE CAPTAIN REPORTS:
ReplyDeleteZIMMERMAN BOND NOW ONE MILLION DOLLARS .....
Judge issues nine page Order setting Zimmerman's new bond at One Million Dollars.
And in the Order, he quotes Judge Leslie Rothenberg from her opinion in the Washington case of June 27, 2012,(Judge Milt Hirsch)(SEE PAGE 5 OF THE ORDER)
Read the Order here:
http://media.nbcbayarea.
com/documents/SKMBT_363-V12070510360.pdf
CAPTAIN OUT .....
Zimmerman was hiding the money so as to look poor enough to get a low bond and have more $ available for attorney's fees.
ReplyDeleteJuly fifth Shumie time. No clients. No work. Heading to the bar.
ReplyDeleteKenny seen at Gastro Pod food truck over 4th weekend chowing down. Hey Kenny- the ocean called- they're running out of shrimp.
ReplyDeleteThe Zimmerman case can be used to illustrate to our bullshitter clients what will happen when they bullshit their own attorney and/or the judge.
ReplyDeleteA prosecutor laughed at me when I demanded today that he offer a w/h and a careless on a client's DUI. He will face my wrath!
ReplyDeleteI have no idea who you are, but if you had demanded I do anything when I was an ASA, I would have laughed at you too.
ReplyDeleteAnd even if I had to go to trial and lose, I would make you waste six months and a day in trial, just for being a dick.
Maybe if you had approached the ASA a little different, you would have gotten the withhold for your client.
I am the 007 of DUI. I have a license to kill the intoxilyzer. Prosecutors fear me. Male prosecutors want to be me, female prosecutors want me.
ReplyDeleteWhen is it proper and appropriate to put one's napkin in ones lap?
ReplyDeleteTHE CAPTAIN REPORTS:
ReplyDeleteNORTH OF THE BORDER ......
Governor Scott has chosen replacements for the two open seats in Broward. ASA Abbe Rifkin was a finalist for both seats, but she was not chosen.
Your new County Court Judge is:
Chris Pole, 31 year member of the Florida Bar and currently a criminal defense lawyer. A very long time ago he did work as an ASA.
Your new Circuit Court Judge is:
AUSA Lynn Rosenthal, 30 year member of the Florida Bar.
Congrats to both.
Cap Out ....
THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:
ReplyDeleteJNC IS QUIET ....3rd DCA Appointment up next .....
For the first time since Governor Scott took office, the JNC is not taking applications for an open seat.
The only appointment pending on the Governor's desk is for the open seat on the 3rd DCA.
We should have a new judge named some time next week.
Captain Out .....
Scott Holtz is a super nice guy. He also plays the role of Carl in the jimmy neutron cartoons. What is this legal eagle thing?
ReplyDeletejust because youre paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you
ReplyDelete10:48
ReplyDeleteAlways appropriate to cover your hard on.
7:33
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why you will never amount to much as a criminal defense lawyer. Your ego gets in the way. Be happy making your 100k. 007 is paid.
Say what you want about the 007 of DUI but his summer 2012 Dui boot camp at his farm in Sheyboygan Wisconsin was an amazing week. Up at 5am. New client interviews at 530 over breakfast. Dui discovery at 6 am motions due to be filed at 730 and argued at 9. Voire dire at 11 and trial from 1-5 with a verdict at 630. Dinner at 7 and then it all starts again the next day. 7 days 8 trials plus seminars and material. Worth every bit of the $6,500 I paid.
ReplyDeleteRump:
ReplyDeleteAnother good mop up job, son. Thanks for closing the loop on our post.
http://southfloridalawyers.blogspot.com/2012/06/last-call-are-you-best-closer-in-miami.html
N.B.: The criminal attorneys dominated.
From our favourite Circuit Court Judge:
ReplyDeleteOn July 8, 1958, a Senate committee conducting inquiries into violations of anti-trust law held a hearing like no other. The senators had discovered the publicity benefits of television; one of the industries famously exempt from anti-trust regulation was baseball; so it followed that nothing but good could come from the senators being seen on television engaging in friendly banter about anti-trust law with baseball heroes. Accordingly, subpoenas were sent to Casey Stengel, manager of the world-champion New York Yankees; and Mickey Mantle, the Yankees' golden-boy outfielder and slugger.
There was, however, a little flaw in the senators' plans. Casey Stengel didn't speak English. Oh, English was his native language; but he spoke in something referred to by those who knew him as "Stengelese." Casey wasn't simply unintelligible. He was unintelligibly unintelligible. And nobody had bothered to tell the senators.
At the appointed hour, there sat Casey and Mickey, looking suitably serious before the senate committee. And there sat the members of the senate committee, fawning and preening before the cameras. The witnesses were placed under oath, and the chairman of the committee began by asking, in his most stentorian tones, "Mr. Stengel, what are your views on baseball's anti-trust exemption?"
The Stengel lips parted and there came cascading out a torrent of words. They were English words, to be sure – a random assortment of nouns and verbs, adjectives and adverbs – but utterly unmarshaled by any notion of grammar, syntax, or a cause-and-effect relationship between one word and the next. Some senators, thinking it was a joke, chuckled at first; then lapsed into an embarrassed stillness.
As abruptly as it had started, Stengel's verbal eruption ceased. In the stunned silence that followed, Mickey Mantle broke up the United States Senate by volunteering:
"My views are the same as Casey's."
7:28pm, May the Schwartz be with you! I watched a damn good trial in Judge Diaz's courtroom with two Lady Counsel's and an all male hispanic jury, and a hispanic defendant, the case was solely based on very weak and ambiguous circumstantial evidence. The lead defense lady counsel reminded me of a hawk, the way she watched like a hawk and interjected accurate objections, like an acute seasoned veteran. I learned a lot from watching that trial. The Prosc, tried to get the Judge to allow a reenactment of the Field Sobriety Test and HGN test,but the judge didn't buy it. "Objection the lead counsel impelled, "shifting of burden".You can guess how the verdict came out, it was a real fight though, one of the ASA's, was a very gorgeous,acute young lady that did a damn good job, but that defense attorney was equally tenacious in her advocacy. Give em all you got, cause it sounds like that's exactly what it's going to take.
ReplyDeleteNapkin at 10:48 pm= Sorry for the delay. There are several contenders and pretenders and Rumole needs an email from me to verify my comment and post it.
ReplyDeleteAs to your question on napkin etiquette:
When dinning in a public establishment such as Au Bon Pain or Prime 112, one should always place ones napkin in ones lap upon sitting down to dine.
When dinning at a private residence, upon being seated one should leave ones napkin on the table until the host or hostess places their napkin in their lap, thus signaling the start of service.
Remember- one only gets one chance to make a wonderful first impression. And manners count.
South Florida- I hold no one's mop.
ReplyDeleteAmerican Minority robbed at best closing argument. Rumors is he lost because he's black.
ReplyDeleteDude- I want to be verified like Fake Kenny and Angry Gurl
ReplyDeleteMostly it seems that A.M. is someone masquerading as the biggest douchebag ever to hit this blog... however, in the unlikely event that this A.M. is a real person, I truly hope that a garbage truck runs over him multiple times and dumps its foul-smelling, sanitary-napkin-filled load right on his dead body. What a complete a-hole.
ReplyDeleteI did not enter, had I chose to enter, I would have one my passion comes from deep down within, not from a Certificate of Degree on my wall.
ReplyDeleteRump. The post on SFL is from his Guest Blogger. FYI.
ReplyDeleteCap Out ....
Guest Blogger is SFL's Himmler.
ReplyDeleteThe judge ruled that it would "shift the burden" if the officer re-enacted the field sobriety tests? LMFAO
ReplyDeleteWhat's a guest blogger? Who is this chump, this gnat on the bump on the tail of the real blogging world?
ReplyDeleteAM
ReplyDelete"had I chose to enter"?
Jealous. Seething with jealousy.
ReplyDeleteCome on, Rump. Be positive.
N.B.: Seriously. Its a compliment. You did good, mopping up.
And as to "who are you?", you step out from behind the curtain pal, and so will I.
Dear Am, 1 . I don't think you can impell an objection perhaps you meant something else. 2. Circumstantial evidence is not something one is likely to encounter in a DUI case unless the case revolves around a question of actual physical control( whether the D was driving). 3. It is unlikely that an acute (did you mean astute?) lawyer would object to a shifting of burden because a prosecutor asked a cop to demonstrate the FSEs (you wrote reinact but I assume you meant demonstrate). 4 . Not even a judge in broward county would be clueless enough to sustain such a rediculous objection. Thanks for the reporting and keep up the acute ( or obtuse) observations
ReplyDeleteScn babe update- this hottie that I met said I had to go to some church scientology meetings to date her. Now it turns out I have depressive and suppressive tendencies based on some oxford test they administer (but doesn't really have anything to do with Oxford) and I need to become "clear" and that will take a bunch of time and money for courses and counseling that I calculate will be well over 100K. Not really a value for getting what I want which is her for a few nights.
ReplyDeleteThese people are a trip. They have names and initials and acronyms for everything. Writing this makes me an SP - suppressive person, for instance. Anyway, such is life. There are less messed up hotties in the world for me to find.
Actually, upon further reflection the observations of the arresting officer could be considered circumstantial evidence. Flushed face , slurred speech , odor of alcohol, etc. what is apparent is that since these observations make there way into every DUI trial and arrest form(yes all of them) Am has never seen or dealt with a DUI . I must thetefore conclude that the numerous victories Am has claimed in murder trials are and were a bit over stated
ReplyDeleteAmerican Minority - I dub thee, American Moron
ReplyDeleteAmerican Minority - you remind me of Jar Jar Binks.
ReplyDelete10:41pm, Oh boy you are a pain in the Gludeus Maximus. Impelled: 1)Urged or forced to take action through moral pressure. 2)To drive forward propel. Example: She felt impelled to take a stand against an issue.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, Acute:Keenly perceptive or discerning.
Thirdly,I wrote reenactment, put your glasses on old fogy. I know you just learned how to use a computer.
Next the circumstantial evidence was a picture of the defendant mug shot, exhibiting his red eyes at 5:am in the morning, the defense refuted that claim of impairedness with the fact that the picture was taken more than 5 hours after the stop at 12:am, the D, passed the FST, and the detective testified that the D had the smell of alcohol on his breath, but refused the breathalyzer so ther was no way of determining his BAL. That is just some of the circumstantial evidence the states' case was based on.
Lastly, I will keep up the astute, and perspicacious, and diligent observation as I do this in my spare time.
Next time you attempt to take a stab at me do your homework asshole. You been annihilated, by your own stupidity this was very effortless, keep the attempts coming it helps to keep me astute to assholes such as yourself. Your excused.
What's worse?
ReplyDeleteComments by AM or the ones who respond back to his asinine comments.
Am your response is worse than your original post, you cannot like humpty dumpty simply use words without regard for their meaning to mean whatever you choose. It is clear that you did not even understand my retort. Try to keep it simple and use words you and everyone else understands, if you were a trial lawyer you would understand this . Only his lordship hirsch and Damon wayans ( in a skit on in living color ) speaks that way. Casey Stengel is dead! Long live AM!
ReplyDeleteCompelled you idiot, compelled!
ReplyDeleteRay Allen!
ReplyDeleteThat is all. (Hey at least I didn't start off another bristling debate on Ayn Rand and charlatan libertarians.)
I must realize that dweebs like you two are blowhards, who most likely get no work done and never have anything positive to say. Apparently you all have a very limited vocabulary, and are very petty. I expect pessimism from people like you two. Thanks
ReplyDeleteWhen is the last time you two clowns conducted a trial anyways??? You do go to trial don't you? I just sense that your comments derive from a sense of envy and self conscious of how much inadequate lawyers your are. I never here you two clowns speaking about court victories, or any positive subject for that matter. Challenge your self stop being farbissener's. It makes you look and sound petty.
ReplyDeleteAM
ReplyDeleteOMG
LMFAO
wow U were impressed by green belts sparing
DS,I know, but it was a good trial, serious. lol
ReplyDeleteAm stop looking in the thesaurus ( no its not a dinosaur) and use words you know. You are taking words whose literal meaning might support your idea but are using those words in a way that defy custom, grammar , and syntax. Neither impelled, acute, nor reenactment can be wedged into a sentence where you have stuck them. It makes it seem like you are trying to impress us with vocabulary no one uses and are screwing it up . The manner in which you write although funny, just makes you seem like a pretender .use plain language and we will stop picking on you
ReplyDeleteFor future reference to the A.M. haters. Before you open up your dump trucks to speak ponder this, every time you open your dump trucks to address me in a condescending manner, I will possibly respond in a likewise manner. I know you are use to minorities being told by the judge and your self to just hush up and take the plea, however, I am not your client, thank God. I am not Brian Gumble, I am not Vernon Jordan, I am not Willard Scott,(who in the hell named a black man Willard), I am not J.C. Watts, I am not Herman "the pizza man" Cain, I am not Michael Steele, I am not Ron Christie, I am not Alan the asshole/kisser West, I am not Johnathan Capehart, I am not Juan Williams, I am not Eugene Robinson, okay. I know that is hard for you to digest,because you are not use to respectfully, and robustly, communicating with minorities, but by God you will with me or we shall do battle.
ReplyDeleteThanks in advance, A.M. Fred Douglas reincarnated, with a twist of Nat Turner, and John Brown, and a pinch of Dredd Scott, will a healthy portion of Marcus Garvey and the spirit Of the Most Honorable Thurgood T. Marshall.
D.S., You can't tell me you never witnessed a good little league game, or a good feather weight fight, come on!?
ReplyDeleteA good fight doesn't always have to be the clash of the Titan's, but those Attorney's were Titan's in their own respect. They fought hard till 11pm that night, dude. It was a bruiser.
ReplyDeleteWillard Scott is white. You meant Willard Shepard num nuts
ReplyDeleteIsn't Willard Scott a fat Weatherman?
ReplyDeleteFucken pell grants !
ReplyDeleteHe mispelled Dred Scott's name again!
ReplyDeleteAM
ReplyDeleteYes I respect raw talent. But, As my first Felony SR. Supervising PD, Edith Georgie said to me once,
(para-phased)
A Trial Attorney doesnt really hit their stride till they have tried 25 cases
I have deep respect for the DUI Pros. I also was a PD in County last millenmum.
/but new lawyers develop skill in County, DV & Juvy.
Then we come to Felonies to hone our skills. You are Expected to perform well, that is why we were hired, and many are rejected.
si, padawin
DS
AM
ReplyDeleteI took a 1 AM verdict in front of Judge Phillip DAVIS . He loved being in trial; Always Energized and wide awake at our 1100pm closings.
A good trial was in the Bag w/ Phil. He could talk fancy to, I watched him campaign in the old N.Dade Jewish Condo Commanders and he had then eating out of his hands. He never used words the way yiou do, sniff.
DS
Every last writer in the world has a different style of writing, and if we all followed the rules of English down to the letter, we’d have a heck of a lot less variety. By all means, we should spell things correctly and use proper grammar as much as possible. Creative writing, though, is different than technical writing. Creative writing employs style. Style can deviate from technicality without consequence. I described what I saw in the manner I felt it. Ernest Hemingway and I believe one of our founding fathers, I think George Washington, only used a period at the end of a writing so, so much for custom, 2:21pm. If I wrote how you and every one else preferred, as it pertains to custom, than that would be just plain old rhetoric. Further more other than your custom violation complaint, you have no merit on your claim, that I grammatically erred in my preference and usage of words. Ernest Hemingway never used commas and I think as well one of our founding fathers did not either. There are at least 250,000 words in the English Language and according to the British,we (Americans),usage and pronunciations of the English Language is incorrect, and or slang according to them.
ReplyDeleteI do not look in the thesaurus I use words that I am knowledgeable and comfortable with using.
Thanks for the expose, your nobody's fool, but someone will adopt you one day.
Williard Scott I'm not him either,Williard Scott/Shepard same difference, the latter thinks they're twins. Thanks for fortifying and substantiating my point.
D.S., thanks for the compliment, I never want to be mistaken for anyone other than me.
Delusions of grandeur Am? You compared yourself to both George Washington , and Ernest Hemmingway in one diatribe . Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSome one tell AM that Sisselman is F-ing w/ him about Phil Davis.
ReplyDeleteEnergized and wide awake
In the Bag ( $$ or Coke)
Sniff