Wednesday, May 25, 2011

JAIL HEALTH WARNING

What to write about....what....to...write....about??

Hmmm.....slow news week.

Oh wait. There's this: if you go visit your client in jail you may catch a deadly infection for which there is no cure.

from an email:

The Miami-Dade Corrections Dept has issued an Alert that during the month of May, there have been several cases of MRSA reported at the Metro West Detention Center. MRSA is a resistant form of a Staph Aureus infection. They have recommended that you take extra precautions when visiting clients at Metro West. Recommended precautions include using good hand hygiene, especially upon leaving the facility.

Rumpole says: Recommended precautions include.. NOT GOING! Just a thought.

NEW PRE TRIAL DIVERSION GUIDELINES FROM THE SAO

You can read the full memo below, but as a service we have excerpted the highlights:

1) No one is eligible. Ever.
2) Upon agreement of the prosecution to refer a client to PTI, the client will have to drive to a small undisclosed location in Hialeah, which is actually where the government often hid President Dick Cheney when Bin Laden was alive and not viewing pornography.
3) Upon locating the undisclosed location in Hialeah, the client will be required to wait six hours, or until the clerk in the attorneys room on the 9th floor returns from wherever they disappear to whenever we step up to the window to request a file. Whichever comes first.
4) The client will pay an application fee of $500.00. The fee will be paid in cash, preferably in small bills to "Hector".
5)The application will be reviewed and denied (see rule#1).
6) The attorney must then calendar the case in court and seek a "re-referral" to the program.
7) Review steps 2-6. Rinse. Repeat.

New PTD Procedures (5)

21 comments:

  1. Dawn Denaro is the new county court judge.

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  2. Vhy I not named Judge yet? I vam very qualified!

    DEEEEEEES EEEEES BULLSHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!

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  3. why don't u write about the 14 year old who shot a guy using the alibi that the burglar was yelling thrteats at him and later it was learned that the deceases was a mute. This situation ends in front of a jury!

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  4. Watch this You Tube on a BBC documentary on MIAMI MAIN JAIL
    DS

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px2kTQKZaSU

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  5. Nice how you give David Ovalle shit for reporting on DUI diversion only a short time after it's announced (maybe less than 2 weeks), but you post an early March 2011 memo now about how Felony PTI rules have changed.

    Maybe you can give us an update on the results of the Helio Castroneves trial, Baby Lollipops trial (the 1st one), Court Broom, or who was a superior commander during the Napoleonic Wars.

    Seriously, I have no problem with your reporting old news, but don't give someone shit when you are just as guilty.

    Also, I believe if the Heat close out Chicago and sweep in the finals, we should get another clue as to your identity (even though there are only about 6 Defense attorneys who can string together cognitive thoughts and even less who can articulate them in writing).

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  6. Dont steal other people's stuff from their home and you won't get shot.

    When you go onto someone's property, you run the risk that the person protecting his home is a 14 year old kid who does not have the life experience to know that the visual image of a gun is enough to scare someone off. The kid just might shoot you because he is scared shitless because you are at his home, making a bunch of indiscernible noises because you are a mute.

    If this 14 year old gets direct filed because he used a firearm (as is SAO policy) to protect his home and family, and his family is run through the ringer of defending him in an adult felony court, it will be a travesty.

    Not to mention a big fat not guilty.

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  7. The mute was in the yard stealing jet ski. Now he is dead. The kid who shot the mute intruder is a great kid and won't be charged. You are a moron.

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  8. A mute burglar/thief. You steal people's shit you takes your chances. I'm not saying you should kill people for stealing jet skis but it is assumption of risk

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  9. Rump - Great Lincoln quote

    "If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend seven hours sharpening my ax"

    Best words of wisdom for trial lawyers to live by.

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  10. 9:26

    You really make her sound attractive. From your description, I'm sure it won't be long till someone takes you up on your offer.

    But if getting laid would cure some of the attitude in the clerk's office, and or court house, someone should throw an orgy.

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  11. The Kid is immune from prosecution under Stand Your Ground. Burglary of a Ocupied Dwelling is a violent felony. The victim/kid was scared and he protected his home in the middle of the night. End of Story.
    DS

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  12. The "great" kid will be shown to be a ready and willing liar and a murderer too. The kid wasn't necessarily great either. His dad is a lawyer and his dad showed him how the process of making legislation works. So, in order to make it easier for food to be given away a particular law would need to be implemented to facilitate this. It is the father showing the son a civics lesson. Nothing necessarily great here. Being great is knowing not to shoot a guy who is in your backyard and wont stop taking your most favorite toy, your water bike. The great kid was on his couch playing his xbox's newest murder game, saw the guy in the back yard, grabbed his gun, ran outside and told the guy to stop. When he didn't, he shot him in the back and claimed he scarred by the guy's threats. Later, alibi can't be true, kid is caught as a liar, xbox game still on the TV awaiting his return, and a Hialeah burglar is to be buried on 103 street.

    The adjective "Great" is easily used in our common language, but in this case it shouldn't.

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  13. David Ovalle is an idiot.

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  14. Anybody else watching the Casey Anthony trial?

    For me, so far some interesting facts coming out, making both defense and prosecutor opening arguments possible.

    Also interesting- Marcia Clark was a guest commentator. She says prior to the OJ murder trial, she had a meeting with the prosecution team and the Brown family, as well as the DA, in which they discussed the fact that they knew they could not get a conviction.

    BTW. She has had a ton of plastic surgery. She is unrecognizable as being the same person who prosecuted OJ.

    Thoughts?

    I had never heard this before.

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  15. Dawn will be a Great addition to the county court bench

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  16. To DS:

    Why would proper legal analysis ever stand in the way of a kid getting direct-filed in Miami-Dade County?

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  17. Looks like the Governor is repaying all the favors he owes to prosecutors offices for not filing any charges against him in the largest healthcare fraud in history.

    Another prosecutor appointed to the bench.

    Nothing against Ms. Denaro. I have never had any dealings with her. But it would be nice if someone appointed by that cue ball with ears was not an indoctrinated ASA.

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  18. He just appointed hanzman who is probably the richest plaintiff lawyer ever.

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  19. What crap!

    Marcia Clark did not know that her 600+ photo opening would bore everyone. She could not know that the Judge would allow the racial slurs evidence, or she would not have called Furman. She could have done a much better job on tracking the blood from the scene. She did not know that there would be a 'glove' issue.

    They thought that they had a slam dunk winner -- and chose the jury accordingly. You can re-write your own thoughts, but she cannot change her own failings as a trial lawyer.

    No one was more surprised than she. I would love to see any family member who remembers Clark telling them before the trial that it was a loser.

    Pants on fire!!

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  20. I know from the email that Miami-Dade Corrections Dept has issued an Alert that during the month of May; there have been several cases of MRSA reported at the Metro West Detention Center. This is fine for all.

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  21. The idea is in quotation marks. It's not really false at all, and we have nothing better to replace it. Maybe I should have been clearer.

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