PRESIDENT CHENEY

ITEM: The President will invoke the 25th amendment today and hand off the powers of the Presidency to VP Cheney as the President under goes a colonoscopy today.

As we said in the comment section yesterday, to borrow a line from Woody Allen:

The doctor will do to Bush what he has been doing to the country for the last six years.

VP Cheney's staff has said the VP will be spending a quiet weekend at his Maryland Shores home. They have released the VP's schedule for Saturday.

10:00 am: Become acting president.

10:30 am: Orders marshall law. Suspend Habeus Corpus, sign arrest warrant for Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

11:00 am. Interview with Rush Limbaugh,

11:30 am. Orders the summary execution of all detainees at Guantanamo Bay.

12:00 pm. Light lunch with Donald Rumsfeld.

1:00 pm. Address to the Nation: "We face dangerous times which require strong leadership."

Make the following announcements: Presidential elections suspended until Bin Laden converts to Judaism; accepts "resignations" of Justices Stevens and Ginsberg; accepts Haliburton's "generous offer" to buy the Gulf of Mexico for 100 million dollars and some "really neat" beads;

2:00 pm. Orders summary and immediate execution of all inmates on death row.

3:00 pm. Orders bombing of Iran.

4:00 pm. Signs arrest warrant for Collin Powell.

5:00 pm. Cocktails with Scooter Libby.

6:00 pm. Phone call to President Bush. "All is well, nothing much to report."